Post # 1
Long time luker–first time poster!
I’ve searched the internets high and low but can’t find any advice on this subject.
My fiance’s mother died in 1997 and after a few years his father started dating again. Future Father-In-Law has since been with his current Girlfriend for about 8 years. Girlfriend is a nice, sweet, caring women–and is basically my Future Mother-In-Law for all intended purposes. Fiance and I spend holidays with Future Father-In-Law and Girlfriend,have Sunday brunch together, etc. She is invovled in the wedding planning, we are inviting her family, she is sitting next to Future Father-In-Law at the wedding and she will be in family portriats. (We’re still having a memorial candle for his mother and mentioning her in the program)
So my question is this–What do I call Girlfriend in the program? “Groom’s father’s girlfriend”? “Girlfriend of the father of the groom”? I’m not really gonna do that–but I am totally and utterly confused as to what to actually call her!?!?
Any suggestions?? At all?? Anyone else have a similiar situation?
Thanks in advance!!
Post # 4
How about significant other
Post # 5
How does Future Father-In-Law refer to her? (or how does she refer to herself?)
Since you guys are close, just ask them at the next brunch how they’d like to be addressed.
Post # 6
GirlWithARing–That’s an idea!
mrskesslertobe—I like that idea, but I’m worried about how to word it–“Significant other of FFIL” As my program stands now, everyone is “….of (bride or groom)”
oracle—We all just refer to her as “Ruth.” Fiance is still a little touchy about the subject. Since his mother died when he was older he doesn’t see Girlfriend as a motherly person. And I’d love to talk to them about it, but these sort of things are kinda awkward. Such is the life with two philosphy professors as in-laws. (And they’re getting old and hard of hearing..they’re both 70.)
Thanks for all the suggestions!
Post # 7
I’m assuming you are listing them as they process, correct?
What about putting: Mr. John Smith, Father of the Groom, accompanied by: Miss Jane Doe.
Or, if that formatting doesn’t work, I’d just list her name – sans title.
I don’t think she needs a title – and, I agree with you, that Girlfriend isn’t the way to go.
You could also give her a title that Fiance would feel comfortable: Honored Guest, Step-Mother at heart, Honorary Step Mother….
Post # 8
I like oracles ideas a lot! I was about to answer, but I think hers beats what I would have said 🙂
Post # 9
Oooh… I like “accompanied by”. That’s a good one. I hadn’t even thought about this, but my fiance’s mom and dad are divorced and not remarried… but BOTH are in serious relationships. So we are going to have the same wording problem for what to call their dates as well.
Post # 10
Will the significant others feel slighted if they are left off the program?
I ask b/c this is a situation that my SIL ran into when I was planning her wedding. She just mentioned married couples only.
Another thing you can do is just put the significant other’s name in parentheses beside the name of the “main person”
Father of the Bride – John Doe (Mary Jane Doe)
Mother of the Bride – Mama Jane Doe (BF Doe)
Post # 11
I like the “accompanied by”.
I also suggest asking her. It seems that you have a closer relationship and that way, she knows you are taking her feelings into account!
Post # 12
Thanks for all the wonderful suggestions!
I am going to talk to her about it–but I feel a lot better bringing up the topic with possible options instead of just sitting and listen to crickets chirp.
Thanks so much ya’ll!