(Closed) Program wording? (Parents)

posted 10 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

I have a horrible stepmother and will not be mentioning her in our program.

However, I’ve seen it done like this.


Parents of the bride: Mary and John Smith
Parents of the groom: Elizabeth Jones and Thomas Wilson, Jr.
Stepparents of the groom: Robert Jones and Lisa Marist-Wilson

Post # 4
1238 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I moved this to the etiquette board from the flower board. 

Post # 7
2640 posts
Sugar bee

 My guess is the stepmom gets her place (currently), which is next to dad.  The mother gets her place as late "MOG" someplace else.  If it’s an honor thing, why not list her first (before dad and step mom)? But I don’t think it would be right to have your FI’s late mother listed with his dad, and demote dad’s current wife to the line below.    I will admit, that I don’t know what the etiquette would be here.  Just my guess.

Post # 8
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Hmm, I think I agree with Tanya; why not list his mom first, then dad and step-mom after that? That’s how it was done at a wedding I just attended. The program also specified that the parent had passed away.

Post # 10
445 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

I also agree with Tanya. I think it would be best to do something like the following:

Parents of the Groom: The Late Mary Smith and Mr. & Mrs. John Smith

Whether you like it or not, your FI’s step mom is still his dad’s wife, and should be mentioned as that. I would say that honoring his mom by putting her first would definitely be the best bet.

Also, maybe at the end of your program, you could put a dedication to those relatives who you were both close to who have passed away. We did something like that:

Special Intention

The flowers placed upon the alter are in loving memory of our granparents who could not be here with us on this special day.

Mr. John Smith, Grandfather of the Bride

Mr. Joseph Schmoe, Grandfather of the Groom

Post # 11
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

krg – I have a very similar situation, except I have an evil step-mother. I really really don’t want to mention her in the program/invites. However, I know I will have to, especially since My Dad is partially is paying for the wedding. Since they are married, theoretically the money is hers too. Even though its my Dad that is paying. She threw a fit when I didn’t mention her name in the engagement announcements. Why would I? The minute I got engaged all she did was bash me and my fiance, and our engagement. Why would I mention someone that is cruel and rude to the both of us, has basically said "I  hate him" regarding my fiance, and is constantly putting down our wedding and my ring?!?!?! It is going to be oh so hard to put her name in the invitations/program.

On that note, I am not putting her name under the title parents or even step-parent. I am going to say something like this: The bride’s father Mr___ and his wife, FIRST NAME. I will probably add her last name, because I think it may look funny. I just hate the fact that she uses my last name and all she does is criticize me and my family.

I don’t think she even deserves the title mother/parent, even if the "step" is before it. I’m not saying that is for all step-parents, my mother remarried and her husband was a real step-parent.

Post # 12
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

on a side note – the evil step parent is so bad that my fiance and I have considered "eloping" in order to avoid her drama and not have to put her in the invite/program. If we "eloped" we would invite about 30 ppl and pay for it entirely ourselves. Then, I would absolutely NOT put her name on the invite/program.

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