Post # 1
Alrighty so- my parents are still alive and well and still married and such, so their part in the program will be easy to write.
BUT it’s a different story for my fiance – his mother passed away from breast cancer when he was about 14…his father is remarried to the most heinous woman you will ever meet. Seriously she fits every stereotype of a crazy step-mother + monster-in-law.
Anywho…we’re trying to figure out how to list his parents in the program….
Parents of the Groom:
Dad Lastname & the Late Mom Lastname
Any other ideas? Or opinions on these? We can’t stand the woman (who can?) but of course she has to be there…and I’m sure would throw a hissy fit if she weren’t in the program. *sigh*
On a side note, anyone have issues with a horrible future/present monster-in-law? (Or even Step-monster-in-law lol)
Post # 3
I have a horrible stepmother and will not be mentioning her in our program.
However, I’ve seen it done like this.
Parents of the bride: Mary and John Smith
Parents of the groom: Elizabeth Jones and Thomas Wilson, Jr.
Stepparents of the groom: Robert Jones and Lisa Marist-Wilson
Post # 4
I moved this to the etiquette board from the flower board.
Post # 5
Woops, sorry caliocteach! I’m not sure how I managed to post that in the flowers category! lol
Post # 6
@brena80 thanks for the tip! I’m wondering- since everyone involved (dad, deceased mother, step-mother) has the same last name…if I listed it the way you suggested it might be confusing for people?
Post # 7
My guess is the stepmom gets her place (currently), which is next to dad. The mother gets her place as late "MOG" someplace else. If it’s an honor thing, why not list her first (before dad and step mom)? But I don’t think it would be right to have your FI’s late mother listed with his dad, and demote dad’s current wife to the line below. I will admit, that I don’t know what the etiquette would be here. Just my guess.
Post # 8
Hmm, I think I agree with Tanya; why not list his mom first, then dad and step-mom after that? That’s how it was done at a wedding I just attended. The program also specified that the parent had passed away.
Post # 9
@amysue How as it worded exactly? Was it "The Late XXXX"?
Post # 10
I also agree with Tanya. I think it would be best to do something like the following:
Parents of the Groom: The Late Mary Smith and Mr. & Mrs. John Smith
Whether you like it or not, your FI’s step mom is still his dad’s wife, and should be mentioned as that. I would say that honoring his mom by putting her first would definitely be the best bet.
Also, maybe at the end of your program, you could put a dedication to those relatives who you were both close to who have passed away. We did something like that:
The flowers placed upon the alter are in loving memory of our granparents who could not be here with us on this special day.
Mr. John Smith, Grandfather of the Bride
Mr. Joseph Schmoe, Grandfather of the Groom
Post # 11
krg – I have a very similar situation, except I have an evil step-mother. I really really don’t want to mention her in the program/invites. However, I know I will have to, especially since My Dad is partially is paying for the wedding. Since they are married, theoretically the money is hers too. Even though its my Dad that is paying. She threw a fit when I didn’t mention her name in the engagement announcements. Why would I? The minute I got engaged all she did was bash me and my fiance, and our engagement. Why would I mention someone that is cruel and rude to the both of us, has basically said "I hate him" regarding my fiance, and is constantly putting down our wedding and my ring?!?!?! It is going to be oh so hard to put her name in the invitations/program.
On that note, I am not putting her name under the title parents or even step-parent. I am going to say something like this: The bride’s father Mr___ and his wife, FIRST NAME. I will probably add her last name, because I think it may look funny. I just hate the fact that she uses my last name and all she does is criticize me and my family.
I don’t think she even deserves the title mother/parent, even if the "step" is before it. I’m not saying that is for all step-parents, my mother remarried and her husband was a real step-parent.
Post # 12
on a side note – the evil step parent is so bad that my fiance and I have considered "eloping" in order to avoid her drama and not have to put her in the invite/program. If we "eloped" we would invite about 30 ppl and pay for it entirely ourselves. Then, I would absolutely NOT put her name on the invite/program.