(Closed) Programs and "in memory of" text

posted 4 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
9918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I would put it on the back of the program, at the very end.

“Today we hold in our hearts the memories of those no longer with us.”  Or something similar, and then their names.

I would only include people who are grandparents, parents, or siblings.  

Post # 4
14026 posts
Honey Beekeeper

@peachacid:  Agree totally! That’s what we did, and how I’ve pretty much always seen it done.

Post # 5
9918 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I will add, though…we did not include this in our programs.  Our wedding was a joyous event, and I did not want anyone to be sad.  The deaths in our families hit a few people VERY, VERY hard, and I didn’t want to bring it up at all.  

Post # 6
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

i was just at a wedding and i thought it was lovely. at the end of the program it just said “today we remember so and so, so and so and so and so. we know you would be here today if heaven wasn’t so far away” (not sure if you’re religious so if that suggestion isn’t for you, disregard 🙂 )


Post # 7
2058 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

The back of our program said this.  All of our deceased relatives were grandparents. If I had a sister who was deceased I’d probably mention her there & rearrange the paragraphs so the ‘we would also like to remember’ was on its own and not connected to the grandparents paragraph. 

We would like to thank our family and friends for being a special part of our wedding day and for traveling both near & far to be here with us.  We feel especially lucky to have so many special people in our lives.  We hope that you have a wonderful time at our wedding celebration, and we look forward to sharing many happy occasions with you in the years to come.

A special thank you to our parents who have shown us every day what love and marriage are all about. Thank you for your love & support. 

We would also like to thank our grandparents, Ann Martin and Al & Jan Windsor. It means so much to have you here celebrating with us today. We would also like to remember those who are no longer with us today, but we know are here in spirit: Joe Martin, Rose Windsor, Bob & Jane Smith, and David & Sue Brown. 

Post # 8
1878 posts
Buzzing bee


@redhead_bride82413:  Peachaid had great advice. I’d do that.


Just to throw out another idea, at my brother’s wedding in June, they had empty chairs for my cousin that passed in April, and for some passed grandparents.  The chairs had framed 8×10 photos of the loved one along with a flower.  I personally found this sad, but almost everyone else seemed to really like it. They kept saying how nice it was, and my uncles kept saying they were really happy “to have dad there”.  The deaths in our family were recent, so I think everyone would have been missing these loved ones anyway, and it was appropriate because the topic would have come up no matter what.  I don’t know if this is an appropriate idea when the topic of the deaths may not come up otherwise.  I think it depends on your family and guests. 


Edit to add- I will not do such chairs at my wedding, and I don’t think I will mention it in the programs at all.  It made sense for my brother to do it given the timing, his personality, and how big the wedding was.  My wedding will be a DW and I want everyone to feel like they have gotten away from it all, while his event was family focused and large.

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