Post # 1
Sometimes I wished my SO would get me one, and at other times, I think NOT! I would rather just get the real thing. I just got off the phone with a distressed friend who is upset that at the age of 23, she has received a promise ring for Christmas. I didn’t know what to tell her. Did anyone else get a promise ring? Would you be disappointed like her and be expecting a real e-ring by this age? She was upset he didn’t get her something else. She believes the promise ring is just a reminder.
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID
@Reneesmith741992: I have a promise ring, and I love it. It symbolized our committment to try to make our relationship work the best we could. Neither one of us were ready for the committment of marriage (financially, emotionally OR mentally), but we wanted something that symbolized that we love each other, and we were working towards that stage in our lives. I was 21 when I got my ring.
Post # 4
@Reneesmith741992: I guess that is what you would call the ring that my SO just gave me for Xmas. We are by no means as young as your friend but my OH wanted to give me a symbol of his love and commitment and I love that he felt that way and it also led to a very full conversation about our future.
Promise rings aren’t really a “thing” in the UK so it will take some explaining to my friends but he and I both know what it means and how we feel and that’s all that matters.
Post # 5
I never got one and don’t anticipate getting one. I think the sentiment behind them is sweet. Why is your friend so upset about it? Was she expecting an engagement ring? For me, I would be annoyed if my SO spent money on a promise ring… we are looking to be engaged in 2014, so I would rather him put the money towards an engagement ring.
Post # 6
I think I would have appreciated a promise ring earlier in my relationship, but at 23 with almost 5 years of being with my SO I would probably be upset if I received one now. I think circumstance is everything – if your friend’s SO can’t afford the ring he thinks she deserves now or the timing just isn’t right, the promise ring can be a reassurance that engagement and marriage is in their future, just not the immediate one.
Post # 7
Promise rings are a personal choice with a couple.
If the guy is only getting a ring to keep his woman from nagging him, then obviously that is a bad idea.
If the guy has an inexpensive stand-in ring until the time (and perhaps money, or whatever other circumstance in life) is just right, then I think it is a romantic gesture.
Post # 8
I got a promise ring during our first Christmas together and it was a Tiffany’s ring the one that says “I Love You all the way around. I wear it on my right hand ring finger. It just depends on the couple I think.
Post # 9
I like the idea of a promise ring, and I think it’s very sweet…but I don’t think I’d want one. Not now, at least. After we have had talks about our future, discussed engagement and an idea of a timeline, I’d really be like, “uh, why didn’t you put that money on an e-ring?”
Plus, in my area (verrrrry Southern US), promise rings are more a high school thing. Here, you don’t see them much in the 21+ age group. For example, my best friend met her now-DH when she was still in HS. He was a brand new Navy recruit, and he got her a promise ring when he was leaving for boot camp her senior year. Beautiful ring, but yeah, it just reminds me of high school. She was one of many of my classmates who got promise rings. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with them, at any age, if that’s what the couple wants; but for me personally I’d rather just wait it out for my engagement ring.
Post # 10
I’d rather have a promise to get married (aka engagement) ring than a promise to get engaged ring. I think the sentiment is sweet but it’s not one for me.
Post # 11
I’m almost 25 and I’ve been with my SO for 4 years. Perhaps at 21 or 22 I would have enjoyed a promise ring.
But, at this stage, I’m holding out for the real deal.
Post # 12
Promise rings are for high school or early college and are essentially meaningless.
Post # 13
@Reneesmith741992: I didn’t have a promise ring- it never even crossed my mind!
Post # 14
@Reneesmith741992: Anything thoughtful like that to show commitment should be welcomed. It’s a beautiful gesture.
However, I DO think of it as a “younger” thing that you do right out of high school as you’re going off to college or something. Of course, that’s not always the case, it’s just how I see it most frequently. If I had been with the guy a long time, and I was 23, I would actually be a little confused by the promise ring, even though it is something to be thrilled about (it is my own flaw that I would expect something more). Maybe it is something financial, or there is a school commitment, and that is DEFINITELY something to factor in. ALL relationships are different, and I realize and respect that. I just think about my relationship, and I know I would have wondered, “If we’re at this age and a stable place in life, why is he hesitating to propose, what does an engagement ring say or mean that a promise ring doesn’t?” If time or money was a factor, I would just suggest a long engagement to my fiance..
But that’s just me! I would never want to take away from someone’s love or excitement about their promise ring. For their relationship, that could be a HUGE step and wonderful symbol for them, and they should cherish it!
Post # 15
@Reneesmith741992: My husband (boyfriend at the time) gave me a promise ring in my late 20s. A year later he proposed, but with no ring. I just switched my promise ring from my right hand to my left one. No one has ever questioned it because I guess the ring is engagement style, but the center stone is only 1/6 carat.
Post # 16
- Wedding: February 2017 - Hagakyrkan
I have a promise ring (and my SO has one too) and they symbolize that we are settled on staying together, but we are of the “try it before you buy it-school”, and we are still looking for an apartment to move in together, and till we’ve lived together minimum one year we do not want to get engaged. However, we can’t imagine how we’d ever split up (as you never can when things are going well in a relationship) so we want to show other people that we are taken (and – since the rings match – bu whom ;P).