(Closed) Promise rings

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 32
Member
292 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  Well to a lot of people a long engagement isn’t an option. The way I see it.. You get engaged, you plan, you get married. The second you get engaged people start asking “have you set a date??” And start asking wedding questions.

In FBIL’s case, he was living at home while beginning his police training school. He was serious with this girl but wasn’t ready to financially support her alongside himself yet, but he wanted her to know that he was choosing her and she was in a secure relationship.

In my case, I was given my promise ring in high school and am now engaged.

I don’t mind if you see it as pointless, but it definitely isn’t meaningless. Perhaps the only reason you’ve been given promise rings was so you’d open your legs or shut your mouth, but that doesn’t mean it’s what everyone gets promise rings for. Next time I’d suggest stating that your opinion is that you don’t see the point- not stating that they are meaningless, and then going so far as to inderectly call every woman with a promise ring immature, or her man a d-bag.

Post # 33
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I think some people have reading comprehension issues.

Post # 34
Member
253 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If youre in a stable relationship and above the teen yrs…I can see it as being a little silly or even insulting, like will this keep you from talking about ‘waiting’ or keep you happy for a while while I may have no actual commitment to marriage just a vague promise >.> for some couples I’m sure it means more than that, but thats just the way it rubs me. My 23/24 yr old cousin just gave his gf a promise ring for xmas as well. They have been together 5+ yrs and are stable, but he just doesn’t want to marry her so he gave her a promise ring instead of an engagement ring, probably because he noticed the flood of wedding pins shes been making on fb or the ‘how to be a good wife’ posts shes been making on fb…he basically did it to appease her. I haven’t known a person with a promise ring who wasn’t given it by their SO to be appeased because they didnt want to marry the person but didnt want to lose them just yet either lol

 

Post # 35
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  no, we can read and comprehend what we’ve read. your original post was just rude. 

Post # 36
Member
2512 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

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@mrspinesol:  My post is the same thing most adult women will tell you. If you got one years ago and are now marrying the guy, there’s no reason to be upset. If you got one as an adult after a few years of dating, and my post made you uncomfortable, then maybe it’s because you are not feeling so secure in your relationship or promise ring. Perhaps some people need to be woken up. You know if you’re loved and if your SO is committed. In which case, you’d let it just roll off your back.

Adult promise rings are ridiculous.

Post # 37
Member
218 posts
Helper bee

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  I am that older bee who opened a ring box on Xmas day to find a “promise ring” inside and I couldn’t be happier.  He took me away for a romatic break in a castle over Xmas and wanted to buy me something special as a token of his love and commitment to me.  As we are both older with divorces behind us we want to be very sure before he actually proposes marriage and have no intention of having a long engagement when it happens. 

I think every couple and romance is different and as long as both partners are happy then that is all that matters

Post # 38
Member
508 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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@MsW-to-MrsM:  I agree with you totally! Nice gesture for teenagers. I was given a ring by an ex once, we were young, I was going away for 7months and it was just a sweet present, no mention of promise ring or engagement. 

What I really don’t get is why some people wear them on their engagement finger when they are not engaged.

Post # 39
Member
1647 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I had a promise ring. I received it when I was 15 years old and wore it on my left ring finger. When I got engaged 11 years later, I put the promise ring away and put the engagement ring on. 

The sentiment is sweet but if I was older when I received mine, I’d want an engagement ring and a different piece of jewellery first maybe. If that makes sense. 

Post # 40
Member
6 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I think I would be somewhat insulted or confused at this stage in our relationship. We’ve been together five years and have lived together for three. Maybe if it was the first year, I would think the sentiment was nice, but I still wouldn’t want one. 

Post # 41
Member
332 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

I was in a long-term relationship at 22/23 and not once during the course of our relationship did I expect an engagement ring from my SO.  For me personally, I knew I wasn’t ready to get married and wasn’t in any rush.  I really don’t know what I would have done had I received a promise ring. Probably run for the hills because that relationship was a mess.  

 

I met my husband when I was 24, we got engaged when I was 29 and had he given me a promise ring around the time I was hoping to get engaged…I would have been very upset.  My personal opinion is that promise rings are more suited to high schoo/college kids, although I do understand that different people assign different meanings to things.  If a 40 year old woman gets a promise ring and is over the moon about it, that’s her prerogative.

Post # 42
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

I don’t understand the concept behind a promise ring. where im from…only HS kids do it. If my husband had gotten me one while we were dating…i would have been embarrassed. i just don’t understand the whole “promise to get engaged”. The engagement ring is meaningful…it’s a proposal and promise to get married. the only ring i wanted was an engagement ring. promise rings seem silly to me.

Post # 43
Member
510 posts
Busy bee

Promise rings to me are fairly…trivial. Around here they’re only seen in high schools, which to me truly represents what they are — a vague idea attached to a shiny object. “Every time you look at it, you’ll know that someday I may actually want to marry you!” 

For promise rings that represent love, it’s just….an object that is arbitrarily defined as a visual reminder of your relationship. I personally don’t need a visual reminder of my love and commitment. At least with engagement and wedding rings, there are legal associations with it and a definite intent.

Post # 44
Member
739 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I’m 34, so….no promise rings for me. Lol. 

Post # 45
Member
2664 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Ketchum, ID

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@sexymama118:  promise rings don’t always mean a promise to get engaged. 

Post # 46
Member
1119 posts
Bumble bee

My dh got me one when I was a sophomore in high school but I wouldnt want one after high school. To me I think their sweet when a couple is young in school and have been together for a long time and are letting the other know they want to make that commitment when they “grow up” but any older and it does seem childish!

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