(Closed) Promise rings

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
2742 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: County courthouse

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@mrspinesol:  

where im from…that’s what promise rings symbolize. i am aware that they are not always portrayed as a promise to get engaged…but from woman that i know that have them….and im talking over 30 yrs old…that’s what it symbolizes to them. to me promise rings are silly. So sue me.

Post # 48
Member
3679 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Wow, some of the defensiveness in this thread is incredible. For me, I wouldn’t be happy with a promise ring unless I was in high school or maybe college — stages of life where I wouldn’t have been in a good position to get married, so I wouldn’t be expecting an engagement ring. But if your friend is waiting for an engagement, OP, and is in a position where she can get married, I can understand how she’d be upset with getting a promise ring which for her would be essentially a promise for a promise to get married.

Post # 49
Member
1798 posts
Buzzing bee

@Reneesmith741992:  I was almost 17 when my SO gave me my promise ring. He gave it to me for our first anniversary, and we were obviously no where near ready to be engaged or married, so it seemed logical for us to have that. My SO doesn’t view it as a promise ring, but more of just a piece of jewelry he gave me. I think had we broken up at some point during our relationship it wouldn’t have been so serious. I don’t think I would have said, “but you gave me a promise ring!” If we were engaged when and decided to break up it would be a bit more serious.

Post # 50
Member
4236 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My SO gave me a promise ring after a year of dating. It wasn’t so I would “spread my legs” or “shut my mouth” but something HE wanted to do for ME because he thought it was a sweet gesture. At the time it was meant to symbolize that we were “going all in” but not in a place to get engaged or be married. I wore it for a year before I put it away (I didn’t really like it all that much to begin with, haha). I told my SO the next piece of jewelry he buys me better be a ring for my finger. 

I know there has been a scuffle further up in the comments by a negative comment made about promise rings as being “meaningless” or “only for high school” kids, and I have to somewhat disagree. It’s a very generalized statement and clumping and trivialzing relationships and situations in an unfair way. 

A girl I worked with last Christmas was DEVESTATED to receive a promise ring. A few weeks prior, she had found a receipt from Kay’s for a $3500 purchase and naturally assumed it was for an engagement ring, but come Christmas morning, it was just for an “upgraded” promise ring. To me, THAT particular ring seemed pointless because at that point he had already gotten her an engagement ring–it was a freaking 1ct diamond ring!!! She was too embarrassed to wear it and keep fielding questions about it and eventually it caused a strain in their relationship which caused them to break up (there were other issues). 

I can see where after a certain age it gets a little awkward, because people ASSUME it means you’re engaged and if you’ve been dating for a certain time WITHOUT a proposal, people ASSUME something is wrong, etc. Promise rings are not for me, but I see where they are a wonderful gesture and a really touching gift in a relationship that shouldn’t be disregarded or trivialized.

Post # 51
Member
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I think promise rings can be sweet but it really depends on the relationship. If you’re looking for more commitment, then wait for an engagement ring. If you’re ok with waiting, then promise rings are wonderful!

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