(Closed) Promise Rings; A Friendly Debate (please)

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 47
Member
779 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I think promise rings are good! It means he has the intention on marrying you, and he’s completely dedicated and loyal to you! And confirming you are to him as well!

It’s basically the step before engagement, and when you’re both ready, emotionally and financially to get married, then you will!

It’s basically reassurence that he’s very serious about you, and sees a future with you. All good things! 🙂

Post # 48
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@Cornmuffin09:  Lol.  He sounds like my SO.  There was a gorgeous little ring that I totally fell in love with when SO brought up the idea of giving me a p-ring.  It was actually a little 10kt white gold wedding set with diamond chips set in a halo fashion (I would have only worn the e-ring part of it if he had gotten me that one, and I would have saved the wedding band and worn the set after we were married for vacations and such).

He felt that that set in particular was not very well designed and would probably either lose some of the diamond chips or the head of it would fall off because it was only held up by one small post.  He wanted to make sure he got me something that would last, and I’m really glad that he did!

I actually think that I will end up wearing this ring more on a daily basis when we are engaged/married because it fits beautifully under gloves and doesn’t interfere with my work. 

View original reply
@pointofnoreturn18:  

Another wonderful thing about having a ring that is gold and diamond is that you can wear it in the future as a wedding band (or in my case e-ring), but it still has sentimental value.  I love the fact that I have a ring I could wear on vacations, when my ring is in the shop, or as an everyday ring once we are married or engaged.

Post # 49
Member
1089 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@silkspectre94:  +1

This describes where we were. . .and still are. . .in our relationship. 

I know some people would say that if the intention to marry is there just get engaged and married, but in our case, we have mutually decided that right now, that’s not possible for us.  We also feel that there are certain familial and cultural expectations that come along with us getting engaged and married, and we aren’t quite ready in our lives (both individually and as a couple) to go down that road just yet.

 

Post # 50
Member
56 posts
Worker bee

View original reply
@ChicChick:  

Although I’m a waiting bee, I never wear expensive jewelry when I’m on vacation or on trips outside of the country. Once I do get engaged and have my engagement ring (and eventually a new wedding band because I don’t plan to have my current ring be a band regardless), I’d wear my current ring in place of the wedding ring set. Love the idea! Thanks for the thought!

Post # 51
Member
2874 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

im not anti promise rings per se…but i think they should go on the right hand. for me, the only rings i wanted on my left = engagement and wedding set

my fi was saying here where we live in mexico that promise rings are quite common, as a ‘pre-engagement ring’ basically. i wouldnt say no to a pretty piece of jewellery (i love rings!) but i wouldnt wear it on my left hand, or see it as a really tangible committment

thats not being snarky i promise. some of the explanations that bee’s SOs gave them are beautiful and i can see itd mean a lot

Post # 52
Member
556 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think promise rings are a nice gesture, especially if the two parties aren’t yet ready for an official engagement or still feel too young. I don’t think it’s juvenile at all, but different strokes for different folks.

When I first got engaged to my SO, I was 20 years old, and while I called myself engaged for a while, I ended up feeling like it was too far out from a marriage to continue, and we were only together about a year. I kept the ring to symbolize my commitment to him, with the intention of getting engaged, and marrying him when I was older.

Now that I am 25, we are getting engaged in a few months, and intend to marry about this time next year. I’d rather have the engagement ring now because we are both ready to take that step, but I’d have no problem wearing a promise / commitment ring if we weren’t ready for that.

Post # 53
Member
578 posts
Busy bee

I am against promise rings, I think. I agree with the OP when she says it gets messy when you have to explain what it is, what it means, why aren’t you engaged yet, etc every time someone asks about it. I would rather it either be a “placeholder ring” and just call yourself engaged- and switch out the ring for a nicer engagement ring when the time comes. OR have it just be a special ring from your SO. Wear it on either hand, but whenever someone asks about it, say no its not an engagement ring, its just a ring from your SO and you love it 🙂

Post # 54
Member
20 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2019

In my very humble opinion, I belive promise rings are a juvenile thing… highschool.  At a certain age, its either you want to be engaged or you dont.   

Post # 55
Member
2776 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

View original reply
@Cornmuffin09:  I like the idea of telling him to save his money and get you a nice e-ring later.  A promise ring is sort of juniville IMO.  And tends to fall flat.  My cousin had a promise ring and put herself on facebook as engaged and always talked about when they would be married.  It was a confusing mess really.  She was and still is pretty young though.  And she did break things off with the guy.

Do you have a particular gemstone you love or some dream RHR you have always loved?  Why don’t you ask him to get you something like that and you can call it whatever you want and wear it on your right hand.

And so what if all his other friends do it?  Do you have a piece of jewelry you’ve been drooling over?  Could you ask him for that instead?  At our one year anniversary my guy got me a piece of jewelry I really wanted but wouldn’t pay for myself.  Its a caffeine molecule neclace and I love it, I still wear it today.  Last year he got me a sapphire bracelet that I love.  Maybe you could do something like that.  Because it seems to me that you don’t really care about a promise ring and don’t want him to “waste his money on it” sort of thing.  And in all likely hood it would be replace by the e-ring anyway.  I would ask him to get you some other piece of jewelry that you’ll love and wear long after the engagement ring comes or ask him to get you something more plain or an eternity band type thing so that you could later use it as your wedding band, just elect to keep it as your enagement ring later if he insists on you having a promise ring and gets you something nice.

Post # 56
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I wore a promise ring for almost 3 years of our relationship. It made me feel a little awkward at times when people would ask if we were engaged, but I also was proud of it. The ring was not a diamond, it was three amethysts (my birthstone). Sometimes I would just tell people that it was just a gift and it was my birth stone. One thing is for sure- It made my finger totally comfortable with having a ring on it!

Post # 57
Member
337 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Just this past weekend I was given a promise ring.  My love and I have been in a LDR until a few weeks ago when he moved here to NY to be with me.  We KNOW we plan to spend or lives together.  We both have been married before and it was done the wrong way on both parts.  So the proposal itself is something huge for him.  He is putting a lot of thought into this so that’s why he hasn’t proposed yet.  We had went through rough patch last week and he presented this ring to me as a token of his appreciation and let me know how much he loves me and he promises to always care of me.  I think it’s beautiful because he picked it out for me. My engagement ring I picked out – my promise ring isn’t my style for an engagment ring.  Everyone who sees it asks me if we secretly got engaged. Lol.  I don’t mind calling it a promise ring.  Its the thought and the meaning behind it that counts.

Post # 58
Member
299 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

View original reply
@justvonne:  Uh, that TOTALLY looks like an engagement ring. 

Post # 59
Member
1715 posts
Bumble bee

View original reply
@justvonne:  Hey your promise ring looks like mine! Kind of =)

 

My SO love getting me rings. Practically every important date we have had has been marked with a ring. Our first v-day he got me a pink sapphire, on our first anniversary, he made me a pretty silver band. A random date, he bought me another silver band as a thumb ring. When we seriously started talking about spending our lives together forever, he bought the white sapphire above. And called it my promise ring. I bought him a promise ring too.

 

I still have his highschool ring on a necklace.

I’m 26 and he is 23. 

Neither of us went to prom, neither of us dated in highschool. So, we’ve made it a point to remake all those memories we didn’t have from then. And I like it that way. 

(I even wear his lettermen’s jacket on occassion)

Post # 60
Member
899 posts
Busy bee

I think promise rings seem more like something very young kids get each other. I’m in my mid 30’s. I think it would be ridiculous for me to wear a promise ring. Engaged or not, that’s it.

Post # 61
Member
110 posts
Blushing bee

Fo me, an engagement ring comes when you’re ready to start planning the wedding. Financially, emotionally, geographically, etc. I have a ring I that wear on my left hand from my bf as a promise ring. We’re long distance right now, so it’s not the right time for an engagement ring (in my books). It’s nice to have a sort of commitment-ring to wear. As well, being hit on/checked out makes me feel uncomfortable, so wearing a ring on my left finger acts as a garlic-clad crucifix whenever I’m out.

 

I don’t really like promise rings that look like engagement rings. Well I do, I’m actually considering getting a “promise ring” as an engagement ring (I like the smaller rings :3), but wearing an engagement-style ring as a promise ring or commitment ring seems confusing.

my $0.02

The topic ‘Promise Rings; A Friendly Debate (please)’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors