(Closed) Promised to propose…how to deal with dignity

posted 6 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I agree with you. If he can’t commit, leave him. Don’t settle for just “good enough.” But he gave you a timeframe and you agreed to it at the time. No backsies.

ETA: If you pressure him now, you’ll never know if he was planning to do it on his own. You’ll be constantly wondering if you pressured him into it or if he genuinely wanted to propose. 

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  koi424.
Post # 49
Member
1576 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I never saw mine coming. I got engaged in early December, so kinda a similar timeframe at this point. He talked to my dad while we were home for Thanksgiving while walking the dogs. My mom distracted me with cleaning something so I didn’t even notice that they went out alone together. There were zero clues. He wanted to make sure it was a surprise so he told no one anything about it until the day before. I actually called my friend that day saying there’s no way he’s gonna propose before New Years because there simply isn’t time – all our weekends were filled up! I had no idea he would give up a football sunday to take me out and propose. πŸ™‚

There aren’t really many clues to look for when you think about it. The big clue you’ve been looking for is him talking to your dad. He probably just knows better to do that as close to the proposal as possible to make sure it’s a surprise. He knows friends and family are the biggest surprise spoilers. He’s taking this seriously. That’s why he hasn’t slipped up and you have no hints.

  • This reply was modified 5 years, 8 months ago by  koi424.
Post # 50
Member
3658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

View original reply
Suzy133:  I am so dense. I just do not understand: when your SO asked you when you wanted to get engaged, why didn’t you say “Now!?!!!?

Since this seems to be a big thing in your relationship, I mean. It seems like a mixed message you are giving to him.

 

Post # 51
Member
3658 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2000

awwww OP, he’s got a plan! I guess he’s one of those who want to make a Big Deal Proposal, and that’s ok. It all sounds good.

Post # 52
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

The great part is you know where his head is now! I was in exactly the same position of not wanting to say anything in case I pressured him or ruined things. Eventually decided I had to talk to him and planned to be all rational and ended up a tears mess, much to his dismay. I could tell during my outpourings he was on board because he kept trying not to grin before he told me he had a plan.

 

Don’t worry about being a blubbering mess..he loves you for all of that too! Probably found it endearing πŸ˜€

Post # 53
Hostess
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

I bet it will happen over the holidays, its the engagement season!!!! Don’t think he isn’t thinking about it, guys are sneaky! My fiance had my ring custom made 3 months before he propsed and he didnt tell ANYONE, until he asked my dads permission very soon before he asked me. I had no idea it was coming and the surprise was so worth it. We had just purchased a hosue so getting engaged wasn’t even on my radar after making such a big purchase!! He probably is going to surprise you when you least expect it. Don’t be worrying, let him do it in his own time, you already know it will be coming soon enough!!! πŸ™‚

Post # 55
Member
1194 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

View original reply
lalanono:  I was in the same spot. I was about to lose my damn mind and just at that moment he did it lol! You still have a bit of time in 2015 so even though it’s super hard, I wouldn’t give up yet. But if nothing happened by New Year’s, I’d be outta there!

Guys are all different when it comes to this. While I had the ring picked out a year in advance, he didn’t actually get around to having it made until like a month or two before he asked me. He also didn’t ask my Dad and said he forgot πŸ™ I kinda have a gripe with that but I wasn’t going to say no either! I’d say ease up on him and completely shut up about it until Jan. 1st 2015 rolls around, I know that can feel impossible to do! Maybe that will give him the incentive he needs.

Also, like many other posts on here say – focus on you, do things you like, do things to better yourself. Sometimes being so intense about the subject and splitting his buttcheeks about getting married isn’t the best way to actually go about getting it done!

Post # 56
Member
2966 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

My Fiance proposed during the countdown to midnight on New Years Eve. He said he wanted his kiss at midnight to be with his future wife. 

Don’t count any chickens that haven’t hatched here. He still has time. 

Post # 58
Member
66 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Lol read through this thread. I’d he asked for your parents blessing than a proposal is definitely coming. You need to relax girl! Christmastime is a super popular time for proposals! 

Post # 59
Hostess
592 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

View original reply
lalanono:  girl its coming lol. He wouldn’t ask your parents if he wasn’t preparing for it. He probably wants it to be really special and is waiting for the right time. Don’t resent him. Its a massive step and he probably wants you to be surprised, not expecting when he will do it and make it really special πŸ™‚

Post # 60
Member
2393 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
lalanono:  I just read through this whole thread and it’s like a soap opera! Girl, I’m rooting for you!

As for no evidence of a ring being purchased, I don’t think that is anything for you to worry about. Anyone can go out and get a ring and put it on a credit card. If he asked your parents’ blessing, AND he told you he has a plan, I think you’re signed, sealed and delivered. Please come back and post pics of your pretty engagement ring when the time comes!

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