(Closed) Promised to propose…how to deal with dignity

posted 7 years ago in Waiting
Post # 63
602 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

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lalanono:  I first, just want to say that I am sorry you are dealing with this, and that you are certainly not alone!! If I were you, I would give him an ultimatum and stick with it. Us ladies need to have some say in when things move on to the next step. I seriously cringe when I hear stories of ladies who are together with their men for 9 years and no ring. It works for some people but it would never work for me! To me, the point of a relationship is to find the man you will marry.. and after 4/5/6 years he should know whether you are the person he wants to marry. I hate the fact that sometimes we have to give our men ultimatums but really, it is the only thing we can do to ensure we aren’t waiting forever. Your dream is to have a family with him.. but if he doesn’t feel the same way then you are better off finding out sooner than when it is too late.

I told my sweetie that I needed to have a ring on before the end of the year (2013) or else we needed to part ways. I have plans to have all my children before I am 30 so timing was important to me. (I am 24). He actually bought the ring in January/Feb of 2013 and waited until Nov 2013 to propose. Although, my mom passed away in April 2013 so that probably had a lot to do with the waiting until Nov. Sometimes guys need a little bit extra time when they have the ring. So hopefully that is your man, but there is nothing wrong with giving him a date to when you expect it by.

Good luck! I am really hoping for a New Years Eve proposal for you!! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 64
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

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lalanono:  AHH! I am so excited for you! I read your story like a soap opera, it was terrible not knowing how your story would end! I am so glad it had a happy ending. Let your Future Mother-In-Law out of your mind, be happy and excited. Men are not good at emotional and verbal communication sometimes/ all the time, so give him a little break you are an engaged woman NOW! 

Post # 65
499 posts
Helper bee

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lalanono:  Ahhh!!! You were one of the bees I was rooting for!! Congrats!! ๐Ÿ˜€

Let’s see the ring!!! 

Post # 66
5304 posts
Bee Keeper

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lalanono:  You’re one of the Bees I was rooting for too! So happy for you, congratulations!

You still feigned surprise with Fiance, maturely and lovingly considering his feelings in a harmless little lie- and now that he has proposed he’s so excited to plan a wedding and future with you. And you handled your future in-laws with class (future Mother-In-Law rather tactless but you were very gracious and didn’t let her outwardly get to you) Major kudos to you, bodes well for future dealings as her DIL.

Congratulations again- wishing you all the best xo

Post # 67
4682 posts
Honey bee

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lalanono:  pic! pic! pic!

Post # 68
70 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

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lalanono:  I’m sooooo happy for you!  Congratulations!  You go, girl!!

Post # 69
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

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lalanono:  Congratulations! And don’t worry about the not being surprised. I wasn’t at all, but it was still one of the greatest moments of my life. And I still lie about not being surprised. There’s no need to wreck it for them. I agree with you. I think anytime you’ve been together for over two years, or you are living together, it probably isn’t that big of a surprise. 

Post # 70
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

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lalanono:  I’m so happy for you!!!! Congratulations!!! you must post the story/ring!!!

Post # 71
321 posts
Helper bee

I completely agree with you about the lack of surprise these days. haha perhaps your Mother-In-Law is one of those women who genuinely was, but then again, what woman wants to be painted as the impatient girlfriend? Not many would own up to that after being married, yet it happens to TONS of us. 

I’m glad he finally got off his ass for you! You deserve it. 

Post # 73
1767 posts
Buzzing bee

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lalanono:  Can we see the ring please?

Post # 74
42 posts
  • Wedding: June 2017

Love this story. Honestly if my boyfriend propose to me I will feel the same, not surprice, but really a release.

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