(Closed) Promote Women’s Rights by TAKING AWAY Her Right to Take Her Husbands Name??

posted 10 years ago in Montreal
Post # 18
Member
1182 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Can a husband take his wife’s name?

Post # 19
Member
184 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I’ve known about this for a long time and I’m not sure how I feel about it. On the one hand, can we ever make progress as a society on this front unless we start insisting everyone remain with their birth names? If there is no law, will more women start keeping their names naturally? How long will it take until it is the minority of women who take their husband’s names? 

On the other hand, does forcing these women to keep their birth names create positive social change? I mean, the choice was not given to them. Will many of them remain bitter about it and still teach their kids that to be a family you must take your husband’s name? (By the way, are we legislating that children must have both names? Because if not then the point of this exercise is moot, as the mom’s name still takes a backseat to the dad’s.)

I like it because it forces acknowledgment that the wife’s name is as legitimate as the husband’s, and it declaws the expectations of the woman changing her name that she may get from her social circle, family, and future husband. (HOW many ‘I don’t want to change my name’ threads are on WB where bees chime in ‘you should just do it if he wants it’ or ‘you could just hyphenate’.) Maybe this law could help destroy that expectation. 

I don’t like it because I don’t think for individual women it changes attitudes. Obviously some women want to change it. I don’t think that will change because of the law (which is 30 years old, and the OP is posting about it now, which I think enforces that point.) But I wonder if those kids with moms who didn’t change it who grow up knowing they/their wives won’t change it – will it make a difference in their attitudes towards it? This is the next generation speculation and I guess there’s no way to find out except wait.

@Elvis: No, I don’t think they can do either.

Post # 21
Member
1325 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

This, my friends, is the definition, of bullshit. How is taking away a woman’s choice meant to be empowering her in any way? Choice is what the feminist movement was about, about promoting equality in such a way that it enables the promotion of choice for women, that set expections do not rule their lives. Going from one extreme to the other is not the point, especially if it denies the access to agency for women, and thus their access to making a choice. In a way, its actually quite paternalistic of the state to say ” we know what feminism is, and thus to empose our definition of it, we will take away your choice to have your husbands name, because you dont know any better anyways.” Thats precisely the kind of stuff feminism was against.

Post # 22
Member
2159 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2011

I don’t see it so much as trying to promote women’s rights as promoting equal rights. But it’s still backwards. It should be the choice for anyone getting married to keep their name or take the name of their spouse, or for both parties to adopt a new last name together.

Post # 24
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I understand everyone’s outrage. I too will have to keep my maiden name, as both Mr Rugbee and I are born & raised in Quebec.

As much as I would have liked to take his name, I’d like to point out that Quebec has a fundamentally different history with regards to women’s rights, marriage and the church than the rest of north america. This law is a reflection of what happened durring quiet revolution and women’s relation to it.

Quebec has one of the highest rates of children living in common-law families and acknowledges the rights and responsibilities of these types of arrangements. Many french canadians have hyphenated lastnames, taking both the mother’s and father’s name.

While I do think this law has outlived its usefulness, we need to keep in mind the context under which it came about.

Post # 25
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2011

It makes sense within Quebec’s history and culture (as mentionned by FutureMrsRugbee).

I see nothing wrong with it.

It is not about women’s rights, it is about equal rights. The civil code article is gender neutral: Article 393. In marriage, both spouses retain their respective names and exercise their civil rights under those names.

 

 

 

 

 

Post # 27
Member
1533 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

@Oneeleven: I think you’re missing the point a bit: It doesn’t have anything to do with seperatism and it doesn’t matter what you intended to change your name to (french or english).Ultimately it’s a matter of you being you and not an extention of anybody else.

If you plan on living in Quebec after your wedding it would be good to get sensitized to Quebecer values. It frustrates me to no end when Canadians refer to Quebec seperatism. As we saw in the last federal election, that sentiment is not as mainstream…

ALSO “In Canada we should have a choice”: provincial jurisdictions exist for a reason. You’ll find Quebec laws are grounded in the civil tradition rather than in common law. So no, things are not going to be the same here as in the rest of Canada.

Post # 28
Member
4 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I never said it protects Quebec’s culture, I’m just saying it makes sense within this culture.

Taking away someone’s right to choose is not the way to go about things, abortion is the best example. Name change is a *small* issue in comparison, and in this case I think it helped things go in the right direction.

If they were to get rid of this law, I’m sure far fewer Quebecer men would except their wife to change name and take theirs than elsewhere, and no one would be shocked by a woman not taking her husband’s name (see http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/not-taking-your-partners-name and http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/struggling-with-name-changewhat-to-do). Just my opinion.

Post # 29
Member
848 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2010

Good luck!!

I am in Ottawa too, and changed my name (btw, there was no cost involved…) – Everything was changed except for my birth certificate, which you can change if you want but I wouldn’t feel comfortable with going to that extent, plus I wasn’t born in Ontario so I don’t know if I could even apply for it. Anyway…

In my case, I grew up in Québec, and moved to Ontario when I moved in with DH. It has always been important to me to take my husband’s name as we are creating a family together. I never understood Quebec’s repressive position on this.

I am studying in Québec for my Master’s degree.

Even if my legal name and all my ID’s are in my married name, the Québec province does not aknowledge it. So with school, they only deal with me under my maiden name, and my diploma will be in my maiden name as well…

So… I hope your strategy of changing your name before moving works for you, but I would double check if I were you… just in case you make all these efforts only for the Quebec government not to recognise your real name and force you to use one that no longer belongs to you (no, no, I’m not bitter at all, lol!)

Post # 31
Member
1 posts
Wannabee

I found this site because I had heard about this Québec law and wanted to verify it was true. I am outraged, but encouraged that I’m not the only one! I would love to see this law changed. Suggestions? Would you sign and spread a petition? 

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