Post # 1
My fiance is up for a possible promotion to another department that would pay an extra 10k a year and it would look really great on his resume. His current job was okay until a new boss transferred in a couple months ago, now most of the people in his department are transferring to other departments and he’s not happy in his current job He’s been in his current position for roughly two years.
The problem is that he’s feeling super guilty because in 8-10 months, he’ll be giving his notice because we’re moving to another province. The company has been expanding there, but unless there’s a location he hasn’t heard about, there isn’t one close enough to transfer to. A friend of his is trying to help push through the promotion for him and didn’t know he was going to be leaving.
I feel that since he’ll be there a minimum of 8 months and help us financially that there’s nothing wrong with accepting the position if he’s offered it, especially in light of how miserable he is in his current position. However, I also understand his feelings and where he’s coming from.
Would it be an idea for him to talk to his friend outside of work and let them know he’s potentially leaving? He wants me to help him decide what to do and I’m trying to figure out what to say to him and suggest.
*** Edited to note – the friend helping him with the promotion would be giving his company reference. And is someone he’s close enough to that he’s planning to invite him and his fiance to our destination wedding. I think the friend is the bulk of his guilty/worry.
Post # 3
@Cappugcino: He should accept the promotion and keep his mouth shut about your plans to leave. It will look great on his resume and he should not waste a single second feeling guilty. People move on all the time in their professional lives. He will get great experience and a nice boost to his resume and they will surely find someone new once he leaves. You should always look out for number 1 when it comes to work and your career.
Post # 4
@Cappugcino: I think he should take the promotion. It may also help him get a new job when you guys move. If you were moving in 1 or 2 months I would say don’t do it… but 6-8 months is just fine! Also, if they are expanding, you never know if they could expand to where you’re planning to move to. Especially if he’s miserable in his current job, I’d want to get out of there! I wouldn’t be able to work over a month in a place that made me miserable… so take it! Plus, what if something happens & you don’t move? Not sure the reasons of your move but what if you were offered an amazing position where you are & you guys stayed?
ETA: Don’t mention moving to his job!! Just sit tight on that until the time comes for him to give his notice!
Post # 5
I understand he feels guilty his friend is trying to help him out and his kindness is one of the things I love about him, but I do feel he should put our future first.
I have been trying to tell him that he never knows what life holds and that things could change. If his company expanded to our town, it would be wonderful!
Post # 6
He should take the promotion, and definitely not mention the future move. Later on down the line when it comes time to move he can act like the move came as a surprise.
Post # 7
I think it’s not telling his friend that bothers him as opposed to the workplace. It’s someone he’s close enough to that we’re inviting him and his fiance to our destination wedding.
Post # 9
@Cappugcino: I would accept the promotion and just give a 2 or maybe 4 week notice once its time to go. His friend who is pushing for the promotion will understand, its not like he would be quitting for no good reason.
Post # 10
Companies are not loyal to their employees (generally speaking). They don’t think twice about layoffs to cut costs, etc. I say take the promotion, it will help him in the future, and he has almost a year of service to give the company in the new position. There’s nothing to feel guilty about. Life moves on, plans change.
Post # 11
He should take it and keep his mouth closed about moving.
Post # 12
@Cappugcino: He definitely should accept the promotion, he deserves it! Don’t say anything about having plans to leave, unexpected things arise all the time, the move can be one of them. Good luck!
Post # 13
I understand, he probably feels like he’s keeping a secret. Maybe also sad that he’s moving away from his friend & doesn’t want to let him down. However, people do leave jobs for many reasons. Family emergencies, better job offers, etc. Those things are usually unexpected – since he knows so far in advance he may feel like he’s being sneaky. However he’s not. If you were leaving within the next 2 months, I think that would be sneaky. However, he needs to look out for the both of you. I know places where the bosses were planning on firing someone but they needed them through a certain date & then fired them after that. I know places where they loved their employees but couldn’t afford them, so had to let them go. & I know people who gave their month notice & they were let go almost immediately after – which really hurt them financially. Companies do what is best for the company.
Whether he takes the position or not, he still isn’t going to tell them he’s moving, there really is no difference there. He will still likely give the same amount of notice. Also, what if his boss can tell he’s not happy – usually unhappy workers aren’t very productive – & fires him? His boss is going to do what is best for the company.
Post # 14
He should take the promotion and not say anything about moving. I don’t see what he would feel guilty about. That’s the way the world works, and it’s not like he’d be leaving a week later.
Post # 15
– Thank you all for the advice. I think I’ll show him this post and let him take in your advice. Sometimes having an outsiders perspective is more helpful than that of even one’s nearest and dearest. I really appreciate
Post # 16
I had a co-worker who knew he was moving when he was hired!
It wasn’t too big a deal. He was the best 8 month “temp” ever!