Promotion, moving, babies, careers, AHH! Advice needed (with poll)

posted 2 years ago in Career
  • poll: Stay where it's mediocre but safe, take a chance we might regret, or find a middle ground?
    Option 1: Stay here in SD : (1 votes)
    5 %
    Option 2: Take the next career step and end up somewhere TBD. : (20 votes)
    95 %
    Option 3: Olympia WA : (0 votes)
  • Post # 2
    Member
    2794 posts
    Sugar bee

    At 32, I don’t think any “career-ending moves” would be a smart choice. 

    Post # 3
    Member
    9811 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I have kids, I would probably do Option 2.  Missing factor for me is any extended family or issues with that.  If you already have to fly to see all your family then definitely option 2.  Only possibility Option 1 might be better is if you have strong strong family ties nearby (like 1 hr drive or so?) but it doesn’t sound like that is the case here.  I don’t think I’d want to do any career ending moves at 32 either. 

    Without finances or career involved, where would you want to live?   

    Post # 5
    Member
    9811 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: September 2013

    gwenchilada :  I’d probably do #2 and see how it goes.  What’s the worse that could happen?  You decide you hate it and try something else.  But he would still have more/better experience for a new job at that point.  Could you also request a transfer to WA at some later date? 

    Post # 6
    Member
    1631 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would do #2. If you end up somewhere you LOVE and don’t want to move again, you can probably readjust and come up with a new plan. 

    Post # 8
    Member
    988 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m a firm believer in choosing where you want to live and find a job in that area. While I get the situation at hand, your husband could use the skills to move to another company. While he’s excelling now, the company could lay him off at any time (even if he’s an excellent employee), and where would that leave him? What decisions would you make independent of that company? Wisconsin? Idaho? 

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    692 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    gwenchilada :  I vote for Option 2, especially while you two are young and your kids are/will be young. Once your kids are school aged, it’s harder and affects the kids more when you move around. It sounds like Option 2 is a great opportunity, so I would go for that now/in the next handful of years while you have few things “holding you back”. If you more a few times in the next 6-7 years, your oldest will barely be kindergarden age and you will hopefully be settled or close to settled in a more permanent city and you can put roots down. ETA another thing with option 2, your Darling Husband will be making more money, and while he may be gone more often, you will be able to stay home with the kids and will have extra $ to be putting away for college/retirement/etc. and also more disposable income for family vacations to help balance out DH traveling or being away more often than before. 

    Post # 12
    Member
    2527 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2018

    hands down option 2. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    95 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: June 2018

    I agree to go with option 2, if only because nothing is permanent! Honestly, you’re in a win-win situation here, especially because you don’t have kids yet. I would try to advance within the next few years and then recalibrate where you’re at. You’re both still young! And if the chances are good that you could end up somewhere you like being, then that’s all the better! 

    I do agree that the increased travel for your Darling Husband would be tough, and I wouldn’t want mine to be gone that much with kids, but perhaps you could do this move now, save up some good money, and by the time you have kids that are school-aged, your husband could find a solution that means he could be at home more (whether he goes to a different company, or finds a revised position within his current one). My FI’s uncle is a cardiac anesthesiologist, and while he makes a great living and provides for his family, his little girls barely know him because he’s always working, and his wife is essentially a single mother. I can’t relate to that mindset, so that would be tough. Anyway, it sounds like you are in a situation with lots of good options and possible compromises, so go with your gut! 

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