(Closed) Proof that MEN don’t use their brains…

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
3539 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

only one thing you can do… voice your concern… gently and kinda in a roundabout way so there in big blinking lights around it so he gets the point. (thats kind of gently right?) πŸ˜›

other than that.. its a lay low kinda sitcho. Its a tough one, but hopefully you can work it out. You never know because life changes so easily! that things could be very different. πŸ™‚ chin up and hang in there!

Post # 4
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

i wouldn’t get yourself too worked up yet … i know you said you have plenty of reasons to believe you’re getting engaged on a certain date, but until anything happens, why cause yourself the frustration & anxiety?

i understand where you’re coming from – my fiance & i live together and he serves in the US Air Force and was gone nights/early mornings/days a lot (and is currently deployed!), so i know how difficult it is to go from spending lots of time together to hardly any, but truth be told, you’ll go through times like this again in your marriage, too, when your schedules are off, someone is traveling, etc. just remember how much you love each other and savor the time you DO have!

cut yourself some slack and try not to get too far ahead of yourself πŸ™‚

Post # 5
1995 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I have a similar situation (kind of).  Darling Husband is an RN and often works nights and weekends.  Often I wont see him for 4+ days at a time – just talk on the phone for 20 mins.  It’s hard but we always try to make time for each other as much as possible.  Could you go into work later so you could have breakfast together?  What about him changing his schedule?  Can you talk online while at work?  What about emailing?  We always try to do nice things for each other when we don’t see each other – leave notes, make food, pack lunches etc.

Post # 6
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Oh please try to hang in there! At least you KNOW you’re getting engaged, that is good. Time apart will make it so much sweeter when you’re married. You have something to work towards and look forward to.

Post # 7
16213 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. πŸ™ My Fiance and I do not live together so we don’t see each other a ton during the week, but we’re looking forward to that changing once we’re married. Maybe that can be the consolation? Imagine how amazing it will be to have him all to yourself after you get married! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
705 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I think it’s perfectly legitimate to be upset about not seeing each other as often as you’re used to (FI and I only get 1 day off a week together and he even has to work early on that day) and sometimes it sucks.  But to be honest, at least in my experience, nothing really changed after my fiance proposed other than the fact that there was a ring and he was technically my fiance instead of my boyfriend.  I wouldn’t get too upset about the timing of the proposal. 

Post # 9
466 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

It sucks that you won’t get to see him as much.  But you will be planning a wedding and that will keep you plenty busy!! 

Post # 10
5977 posts
Bee Keeper

Why not enjoy your time with him regardless of whether you’re engaged or not? I think the focus on the engaement is a little too heavy here. I know that you’d love to spend more engaged time with him, but he’s going to end up proposing when he is ready and wants to. I guess I’m not understanding why you can’t just enjoy your time with him without the ring. Is a piece of jewelry holding up you enjoying his company?

I know this might not be what you want to hear, but I think so many waiting bees get caught up in the actual engagement that they forget to enjoy their relationship as it is.

Post # 13
14 posts

Well, I don’t want to sound rude, but in all honesty get over it. Life has its ups and downs. And by you already getting upset over something that hasn;t happened yet, and making a deal about not getting to spend time over a soon to be fiance, is kind of childish. Maybe you aren’t ready for a marriage, and all that it comes with . Because in all honesty life takes over, and between work, children, activities and friends there isn;t a whole lot of time to see your husband either. Being engaged is just a part of getting married, and dealing with what life has to offer you two as a couple.

Post # 15
14 posts

Well actions speak louder than words. You may say you are ready, but you aren’t even engaged yet, and are upset over the timing he will propose. I worry about what your marriage will be like when pregnancy, children, work, and errands takes over. You’ll be in for a rude awakening.

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