(Closed) Proper Etiquette For Receiving Too Large A Gift?

posted 8 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 46
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I am curious on what you decided to do.

I like the idea of investing back in his business

Also, perhaps his idea of “slow” and your idea of slow are different… and he can actually afford it. I would think as a business owner he would be quite aware of money management and his finances. 

Post # 47
Member
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I really think he must have meant it to be $100??? I had some very, very nice gifts at my wedding, but the only ones over $1000 were my grandparents and parents.

Post # 48
Member
263 posts
Helper bee

what did you end up doing?

Post # 50
Member
24 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2013

1.) it is never a good idea to hold on to a check given to you as a gift without cashing it promptly. Consider the gift fivers prospective; this check was given and never cashed. He may wonder; did you loose it, did he make an error in the reconciliation of his checkbook, etc… Please don’t hold the check, that is not an option.

2.) Returning the check with a note suggesting he may not be able to afford the gift is not polite. Your intentions are noble and noteworthy, but it just isn’t the right thing to do.

3.) Returning the check at all would be insulting to the individual.

4.) Sending “anonymous gift cards” for gas and other items, while your heart is in the right place, the person will easily be able to ascertain it was you who did this (trust me he will find out), and will likely feel ashamed. You never want to assume that someone is impoverished, by doing so, you may inadvertently hurt them. Ditto for sending an exorbitant Christmas check in the amount of 500 or 1000 dollars.

So what do you do? Cash the check and write a gracious thank you note. This guest thought enough of the two of you to honor you with the gift. Think enough of him to simply thank him for his generosity.

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