(Closed) Proper way to address an invitation to family with kids?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: How should I address these invitations?
    "Mr. and Mrs. Doe and Family" is best. : (7 votes)
    27 %
    "The Doe Family" is best. : (14 votes)
    54 %
    List each name separately (and buy some tylenol to help your hand stop cramping after you finish!). : (4 votes)
    15 %
    Other (and I'll explain below). : (1 votes)
    4 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    1230 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2011

    Mr. and Mrs. John Doe & Family ??

    Post # 4
    Member
    3618 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    In that situation we just did The Doe Family. On the rsvp cards we had: We have reserved ____ seats in your honor. So we filled in the appropriate number in the blank. So far no problems.

    Post # 5
    Member
    244 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I just did the Doe Family as well. Then, on the RSVP card, I just put the (6) of us are planning on attending. That way they know that they are all invited.

    Post # 9
    Member
    1696 posts
    Bumble bee

    You asked what is correct, right? Not for what compromises or common practices are available as an alternative.

    MOST correct, even moreso than using an inner envelope, is to have your invitations printed with a write-in line where you write the names of the guests on the invitation itself. You can google Will & Kate’s wedding invitations, or the then-Princess Elizabeth’s for that matter, to see that this is what Buckingham Palace uses (in case you need some higher authority than Aspasia Phipps 😉  Such an invitation is worded as follows:

    Miss Aspasia Phipps
    requests the pleasure of the company of

    Mr and Mrs Doe
    Miss Doe, Master Doe, Master Jonathan, Miss Joan, Miss Jean, Miss Jeanette

    to the wedding of her niece
    Sophia Elizabeth
    to
    Mr Dream On
    etc

    The bold italic bit is hand-written. Since this is a social document, social names and titles are used, which means that the surname and given name are never used together. The most senior holder of a surname/title pair gets the surname; junior holders of that surname and title have to use their given names. I was never so happy as when my sister Medea married and I got promoted from Miss Aspasia to Miss Phipps.

    The envelope, which is a business document between you and the post office, is then addressed to whomever at the Doe household handles social correspondence: generally “Mrs. Jane Doe” outside of the old U.S.ofA., and “Mr. and Mrs. John Doe” in that more-egalitarian nation.

    If you have already ordered your invitations without the write-in line, you are stuck.  I’d be inclined to use the back of the invitation in lieu of the inner envelope, and write the names there, or use a second envelope JUST for the multi-child families. I strongly dislike the practice of putting the names of minor children on the outside of a large envelope that may end up propped up outside an apartment or neighbourhood delivery box for the neighbourhood perverts to read while they plot their next conquests.

    Post # 11
    Member
    227 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 2011

    I did “The Doe Family” in these instances.  I feel like if that’s not clear enough they will get in touch to ask etc.,  But yes, hopefully that will make enough sense on it’s own!

    Post # 12
    Member
    5179 posts
    Bee Keeper

    The Doe family

    Post # 13
    Member
    2192 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I have had friends had issues with using “and family” as people than invited their grandma, their father in law, etc and argued that they are “family.”    I would list them as Mr. and Mrs. Sam Smith, and than on the second line – Susie, Sam, and Sarah Smith.  They are kids its ok to drop the formality.

    The topic ‘Proper way to address an invitation to family with kids?’ is closed to new replies.

    Find Amazing Vendors