Proper way to call Mother-in-Law and Father-in-Law – No First Names Please

posted 2 years ago in Weddingbee
Post # 2
Member
425 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Cool story, bruh.

Post # 3
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee

Ok???

Post # 4
Member
3311 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

This is personal preference. My Mother-In-Law asked me to call her by her first name prior to that it was “Mrs. Last name” and now I call her Grammy because of my daughter. 

 

Post # 5
Member
8832 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

sam050 :  Sorry you feel like a loser. Change your attitude and maybe your childrens’ spouses will like you more.

Post # 6
Member
5049 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2017

Soooooooooooo, exactly what culture(s) are you basing your opinion on?

I’m quite certain that my in-laws don’t consider me a stranger or that I have stolen their son away.  They don’t have any issue with me calling them by their first names.  No one has ever accused me of being “ill-brought up”.  Is that even a real term?  Doesn’t sound very educated if you ask me.  Perhaps you meant ill-bred which is a true term.  You should think twice before lecturing others.

ETA: Bonding involves much more than titles and names.  Insisting/dictating how you are addressed doesn’t build a bond.  Spend time with one another, create common ground, experiences/memories, share in mutual respect of one another.  It is a good place to start.

Post # 7
Member
240 posts
Helper bee

Lol what?

IMO this is totally up to the parents. My SO calls my parents Mr. and Mrs., like you would any new adult you meet, and I did the same with his until they said for me to call them by their first names. There’s no universal right or wrong. Calling someone Mom or Dad is pretty personal though so I could see why people struggle.

Why do you care though? You sound super judgmental.

Post # 8
Member
343 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

No one should insist to be called anything

Post # 9
Member
6603 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2015

Soooo… in addition to what others said, is it fair that our actual parents spent years doing the real, hard work of bringing us up and we just easily toss that title onto another person who has done nothing to earn it from us? Someone we may not even like or respect?  Heck, my in laws are wonderful people but I’m still calling them by their first names or referring to them as grandma and grandpa first name… at their request. Had they asked me to use mom or dad, I’d have politely refused.

btw, with that attitude I can guarantee your daughter or son in law don’t want to call you mom. I bet just about everything offends you and they are raising the grandkids and doing housekeeping all wrong 🙄

Post # 10
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee

What is your question?

Post # 11
Member
1200 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I’d never call anyone but my mother “mummy.” I do call my American Mother-In-Law, “mom” but I wouldn’t have with my first Mother-In-Law, who was a bitch. People are free to call others whatever they want or what the other prefers. The idea of calling someone mom or dad forcibly simply because it is expected is quite sh!tty.

Post # 12
Member
4498 posts
Honey bee

I already have a mom and dad, neither of whom feel the need to lecture me and think ill about me or my upbringing.  No one will be equal to that for me and certainly not someone so condescending, demanding, and jugmental who only derives their self-worth from being called mom or dad. 

But yeah, cool story.  Good talk.

Post # 13
Member
199 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Cool story , bro. Nobody cares.

Post # 14
Member
2766 posts
Sugar bee

Neat. 

Post # 15
Member
1088 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard

Personally I was brought up to refer to adults as Mr or Mrs So and So until they tell me otherwise. When my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law ask me to call them by their first names or some other name of both our choosing then and only then will I do so. Just personal preference I guess. 

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