Post # 1
Calling your future parents-in-law by their first names? In many culture, this will be a defintely NO-NO. You will be regarded as poorly educated, ill-brought up, and totally disrespectful. Just look at this issue from the perspective of the father or mother of the person getting married: As a family, it is best to be “gaining” a new “daughter” or new “son” through the marriage, instead of inviting in a new stranger into the family who call you by your first name or Mr. /Mrs. You have spent 10-20 years raising a son or daughter, now the new “guy” or “girl” who comes in and takes your son or daughter away. He or she refuses to treat you as his or her second “Mom” or “Dad” . You are such as TOTAL pure loser!!! Your 10-20 years of efforts has gone to drain with no value!! It is very sad that in America this is happening to some new generation people. To the parents who are losing their son or daughter to their newly weds, it would be such a wonderful feeling if their newly wed would treat them just like a newly gained parents in law, and called them “Mom” and “Dad”? For people who grew up as darling of their parents, they should insist that their newly wed to call his or her parents as “Mom” and “Dad”. This will encourage good family bond.
Post # 4
This is personal preference. My Mother-In-Law asked me to call her by her first name prior to that it was “Mrs. Last name” and now I call her Grammy because of my daughter.
Post # 5
sam050 : Sorry you feel like a loser. Change your attitude and maybe your childrens’ spouses will like you more.
Post # 6
Soooooooooooo, exactly what culture(s) are you basing your opinion on?
I’m quite certain that my in-laws don’t consider me a stranger or that I have stolen their son away. They don’t have any issue with me calling them by their first names. No one has ever accused me of being “ill-brought up”. Is that even a real term? Doesn’t sound very educated if you ask me. Perhaps you meant ill-bred which is a true term. You should think twice before lecturing others.
ETA: Bonding involves much more than titles and names. Insisting/dictating how you are addressed doesn’t build a bond. Spend time with one another, create common ground, experiences/memories, share in mutual respect of one another. It is a good place to start.
Post # 7
IMO this is totally up to the parents. My SO calls my parents Mr. and Mrs., like you would any new adult you meet, and I did the same with his until they said for me to call them by their first names. There’s no universal right or wrong. Calling someone Mom or Dad is pretty personal though so I could see why people struggle.
Why do you care though? You sound super judgmental.
Post # 8
No one should insist to be called anything
Post # 9
Soooo… in addition to what others said, is it fair that our actual parents spent years doing the real, hard work of bringing us up and we just easily toss that title onto another person who has done nothing to earn it from us? Someone we may not even like or respect? Heck, my in laws are wonderful people but I’m still calling them by their first names or referring to them as grandma and grandpa first name… at their request. Had they asked me to use mom or dad, I’d have politely refused.
btw, with that attitude I can guarantee your daughter or son in law don’t want to call you mom. I bet just about everything offends you and they are raising the grandkids and doing housekeeping all wrong 🙄
Post # 11
I’d never call anyone but my mother “mummy.” I do call my American Mother-In-Law, “mom” but I wouldn’t have with my first Mother-In-Law, who was a bitch. People are free to call others whatever they want or what the other prefers. The idea of calling someone mom or dad forcibly simply because it is expected is quite sh!tty.
Post # 12
I already have a mom and dad, neither of whom feel the need to lecture me and think ill about me or my upbringing. No one will be equal to that for me and certainly not someone so condescending, demanding, and jugmental who only derives their self-worth from being called mom or dad.
But yeah, cool story. Good talk.
Post # 13
Cool story , bro. Nobody cares.
Post # 15
- Wedding: June 2017 - A vineyard
Personally I was brought up to refer to adults as Mr or Mrs So and So until they tell me otherwise. When my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law ask me to call them by their first names or some other name of both our choosing then and only then will I do so. Just personal preference I guess.