Post # 1
I am getting married in just under a year the the guest list has been the most difficult aspect of planning so far. We are having a smaller wedding so we are trying to keep it under 85 people. I have come to the realization we have LOTS of kids in our families. If we invite the ALL, we would have 35-40% of our guests as children and that would sacrifice us inviting some adults we really care about and would like to be there. We have 2 kids of our own and feel we want some children at our wedding. I have thought about selecting the children we are close to and just writing in the invites that only those written in are invited due to limited seating…..is that okay? We dont want to upset people. I have heard people already tell me its EITHER ALL KIDS OR NONE! Please help with any advice! 🙂
Post # 3
Can you make the kids closest to you a part of the wedding? Then I think you can get away with inviting them if they are in the wedding (flower girls, ring bearers, candle lighters, etc.). Otherwise, I think it would be hard to only invite some of them.
Post # 4
I think Its a only invite the kids in the wedding party or all of them you cant just pick and choose… I know I would be hurt if my kids didnt make the “cut” of being invited to a wedding but other children did.
Post # 5
im glad im not the only one going through this! so frustrating!! i dont know the answer though…
Post # 6
I agree with PP involve the ones you want in the wedding somehow then it won’t cause as MUCH hurt feelings. You need greeters, program passer outers, pages, ring bearers, flower girls, bubble hander outers, etc. right?
Post # 7
I agree with everyone else that drawing the line at kids who are in the wedding is fair. I also think you could get away with inviting just kids who are in your family (nieces, nephews, etc.) if you want, and your friends with kids would understand.
Post # 8
“Whilst we would love to have children at our wedding, unfortunately we are restricted by numbers and will only be able to invite the children we consider family*. We hope that you will understand and make the most of the opportunity to let your hair loose”
* replace “we consider family” with “of close friends and family” or something else if you like
Post # 9
Well, you can’t invite a kid from one family, but not invite their siblings. Idk if that’s what you meant. Aside from Ring Bearers and Flower Girls, we had 1 infant (3 months) who we wanted to invite and then my cousins who are 10-12. If other people asked, I said we couldn’t allow todders or small children because our venue wasn’t child-friendly or safe for them, and only “tweens” or breast-feeding tiny infants would be allowed. The kids in our wedding party don’t meet that criteria, but there’s a huge difference between having a few who are part of the wedding party/family to keep an eye on and having a whole slew of toddlers that guests bring, running wild. I didn’t want my wedding to turn into a Chucky Cheese party. If people didn’t like our rules, they just RSVP’d no. I don’t really care!
The way I handled it with invitations, was that I put “The Doe Family” if the kids were invited and “John and Jane Doe” if the kids were not.
I only had one person complain. Her kids are 2 and 5 and they are some of the worst behaved children I’ve ever met in my life (violent, noisy, wild, disrespectful, nasty potty mouth on the older one!).. I had NO problem telling her no way!!
Post # 10
@VickyAurea: I like that idea! 🙂
Post # 11
at my sisters wedding she hired a babysitter for all the kids. they sat in on the ceremony but during the reception they went upstairs in a private room and got to play while their parents could have some grown up time. if your venue has a small extra room see about getting a babysitter that way you dont have to seat kids or leave them out. and if your worried about the cost of food i dont think many parents would see a problem in packing a dinner for their kids. hope this helps
Post # 12
My ceremony and reception are at the same venue so at the end of my invites I put “adult reception to follow”. If you want specific children at your wedding, just include their names on the invites to their parents. I have children in my wedding party and I am also inviting some nieces and nephews, but I totally disagree that if you invite a few you must invite them all. I think most people will understand and should be able to sympathize. Good luck!