(Closed) Proper way to select children for wedding invites?

posted 7 years ago in Paper
Post # 3
4803 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Can you make the kids closest to you a part of the wedding?  Then I think you can get away with inviting them if they are in the wedding (flower girls, ring bearers, candle lighters, etc.).  Otherwise, I think it would be hard to only invite some of them.

Post # 4
4653 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think Its a only invite the kids in the wedding party or all of them you cant just pick and choose… I know I would be hurt if my kids didnt make the “cut” of being invited to a wedding but other children did.

Post # 5
701 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2004

im glad im not the only one going through this! so frustrating!! i dont know the answer though…

Post # 6
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I agree with PP involve the ones you want in the wedding somehow then it won’t cause as MUCH hurt feelings. You need greeters, program passer outers, pages, ring bearers, flower girls, bubble hander outers, etc. right?Tongue out

Post # 7
526 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I agree with everyone else that drawing the line at kids who are in the wedding is fair.  I also think you could get away with inviting just kids who are in your family (nieces, nephews, etc.) if you want, and your friends with kids would understand.

Post # 8
1365 posts
Bumble bee

“Whilst we would love to have children at our wedding, unfortunately we are restricted by numbers and will only be able to invite the children we consider family*. We hope that you will understand and make the most of the opportunity to let your hair loose”

* replace “we consider family” with “of close friends and family” or something else if you like

Post # 9
350 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, you can’t invite a kid from one family, but not invite their siblings.  Idk if that’s what you meant.  Aside from Ring Bearers and Flower Girls, we had 1 infant (3 months) who we wanted to invite and then my cousins who are 10-12. If other people asked, I said we couldn’t allow todders or small children because our venue wasn’t child-friendly or safe for them, and only “tweens” or breast-feeding tiny infants would be allowed. The kids in our wedding party don’t meet that criteria, but there’s a huge difference between having a few who are part of the wedding party/family to keep an eye on and having a whole slew of toddlers that guests bring, running wild.  I didn’t want my wedding to turn into a Chucky Cheese party.  If people didn’t like our rules, they just RSVP’d no.  I don’t really care!

The way I handled it with invitations, was that I put “The Doe Family” if the kids were invited and “John and Jane Doe” if the kids were not. 

I only had one person complain.  Her kids are 2 and 5 and they are some of the worst behaved children I’ve ever met in my life (violent, noisy, wild, disrespectful, nasty potty mouth on the older one!).. I had NO problem telling her no way!!

Post # 11
3 posts

at my sisters wedding she hired a babysitter for all the kids. they sat in on the ceremony but during the reception they went upstairs in a private room and got to play while their parents could have some grown up time. if your venue has a small extra room see about getting a babysitter that way you dont have to seat kids or leave them out. and if your worried about the cost of food i dont think many parents would see a problem in packing a dinner for their kids. hope this helps Smile

Post # 12
1015 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

My ceremony and reception are at the same venue so at the end of my invites I put “adult reception to follow”. If you want specific children at your wedding, just include their names on the invites to their parents. I have children in my wedding party and I am also inviting some nieces and nephews, but I totally disagree that if you invite a few you must invite them all. I think most people will understand and should be able to sympathize. Good luck!

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