(Closed) Proper wording on RSVP card?

posted 5 years ago in Paper
Post # 2
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

This is how I did ours. We had no issues with people adding extra guests!

Post # 3
Member
217 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

bbbria: I LOVE your invitations!

Post # 4
Member
910 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

 

onthefritz:  I used the inner envelope technique  to specify who was invited.  I included the names of the individuals on the inner envelope. 

 On the RSVP card I had “Accepts with Pleasure” and “Declines with (I forgot the exact phrase) boxes

I had a wedding website that made it clear that it was a child free wedding…….

Post # 6
Member
2168 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Cathedral of the Immaculate Conception/The Gallery

You could also do this, so you have an actual count, which can be helpful.

 

 

As for the inner envelopes, its when each guest that is invited is listed on the inside envelope. From Emily Post:

<h6>The inner envelope</h6>

The inner envelope bears the title and last names of the specific people invited. This allows the host to be very clear about who is invited, and by omission, who is not invited.

For example, the inner envelope for Mr. and Mrs. James Darling and the two Darling children, Sarah and Johnathan, would be written:

      Mr. and Mrs. Darling

      Sarah Darling

      James Darling

It’s also fine to write familiar names for close family: Aunt Martha and Uncle Bill.

<h6>The outer envelope</h6>

The outer envelope is addressed conventionally using titles, first, (middle), and last names. While titles are abbreviated (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.) all other words such as “Street,” or “Boulevard” are spelled out. State names may be written in full or use the two-letter postal code abbreviation. Middle initials aren’t used, so either write out the middle name or omit it. Generally, an invitation to parents and children is addressed to the parents:

Mr. and Mrs. James Arthur Darling

Post # 8
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee

onthefritz:  We just hand wrote the names of all the guests on our RSVPs, it works two fold as the guests know exactly who is invited and you will always know who the RSVP card is from (we had a space on the cards that said Name:………….)

Post # 10
Member
1161 posts
Bumble bee

onthefritz:  It depended on how many people there were and how obvious it would be, so some of them said The X Family, some said Mum, Dad, Kid, Kid 2 etc

Post # 11
Member
11482 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

Technically, there is no “proper” wording for response cards, since response cards are not technically “proper” or traditional. Most people do use them, however, and I did also.

I agree with the prior poster that your best chance of avoiding uninvited guests is to use inner envelopes. I, personally, am not at all a fan of the “we have reserved __ seats in your honor language,” because it not only doesn’t make sense (why would you reserve seats for guests who haven’t yet told you whether they are coming?) but also (and more so), because that language easily can backfire on you. A guest who plans to attend, whose spouse cannot, may feel completely justified in bringing her sister, mother, friend, or child in his place, because you’ve just told her that she may have two seats. 

Post # 12
Member
2013 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

rmca:  Thank you so much! Etsy. 🙂

onthefritz:  Yep, exactly. It was a little more time consuming, but it worked out great! The only time anyone altered the number was if someone in their party could not attend. I addressed the invitations to all of those invited (i.e. “Mr. and Mrs. Tom Smith” or “Ms. Jane Doe & Guest”), unless it was a family with small children, in which case I addressed it to the parents. We only had one instance of a guest substituting her +1 (boyfriend) for a friend, but she was a bridesmaid and traveling across the country to be there, so I didn’t mind at all. 

Post # 13
Member
4891 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

We had an RSVP postcard, so the front of it had our address already pre-printed – as well as a message saying something like, “We look forward to celebrating with you on October 17th!” and left some space if they wanted to write a message.

My plan was to make a place card for everyone with their name and food choice, but some people would write their name, and others would just check mark. If each chose something different, or did something different – my plan didn’t work. So instead, I used extra envelopes we got and wrote their name (as it was on the invite), and just stuffed the envelope with whatever number of food choices they had. It worked well.

Post # 14
Member
824 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

californiabride2013:  I used the inner envelope thing, too, but some people still did not quite understand. lol

DrunkInLove:  LOVE this wording!

Post # 15
Member
7898 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

We also used “We have reserved ___ seats in your honor.” Based on the number and how we addressed the envelope, it should be clear who’s actually invited. We also asked for number of adults and number of children if they said responded yes. We have extra stuff for the kids!

That said, we did have one of FI’s single friends ask to bring his girlfriend that we didn’t even know about. I suppose the numbers will even out though.

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