Post # 16
- Wedding: October 2019 - Chateau Lake Louise
Not every woman wants an “extravagant” proposal. Many also don’t care if it’s a surprise. I’d stop with the “I can’t afford a ring” because not only is it a lie, it also tends to sound like an excuse. She might start to think you are putting her off for no reason and begin to doubt your intentions.
You have the ring. You’re planning to propose. It’s only a few more weeks. Just don’t say anything, if you can help it. You say she’s not expecting it to happen before next year, so just let it be. If she brings it up, just tell her you’re looking forward to getting engaged and don’t say anything else.
I bet more than anything, she just wants it to happen. If you have a place that’s special to the two of you, doing it there will mean more than some super fancy dinner with a huge flourish. I’d say your plan sounds perfect, and don’t fret over the expectations imposed by anyone outside of you and your future fiancee.
Post # 17
Just stick with your plan and if she brings it up again just wink or say something like teamroro said lol That way you are giving her signs things are moving. The proposal will always be a surprise even if she already knew you had a ring… unless you literally tell her in advanced “On this date at this hour I will propose to you by saying xyz.” lol
Personally I would feel guilty and a bit sad if I found out my fiance had put thought and energy into a perfect proposal for me and I derailed it. Your proposal idea is sweet and well thought out. Either way I am sure she would be happy but considering the “plan” is to propose next year whats another few weeks.
Post # 18
guyneedsadvice : My husband proposed while Ice fishing. A hike sounds lovely! Most girls dont want some big extravagant thing.
Post # 19
She means it! She loves you and just wants you to propose.
Some women are fixated on the notion of a big, elaborate surprise proposal and expensive ring—don’t marry one.
It sounds like the love of your life has her priorities right.
Your favorite camping spot has special meaning for both of you and will be a place you can always revisit.
Post # 20
Thank you all so much for your advice and opinions. I still have no idea what I’m going to do, but you all have reassured me that no matter what happens, she will love it.
I will be back with an update in the near future!
Post # 21
guyneedsadvice : I think that people often get too caught up in trying to have an instragram-worthy proposal that they forget the most important thing… THEY WANT TO GET MARRIED! If you want to propose, just do it. But at this point, if you want it to be a suprise, don’t do it on vacation. She will be expecting that. But you better do it before vacation because if you don’t propose that will break her heart. My suggestion–as it is the season–would be to find a local lighting of a christmas tree event. Get a pal in on this. Make it seem like it is their idea to go to the lighting and then get dinner or something… and then when the lights go on. You go down on one knee and she won’t be expecting it.
Post # 22
You’re overthinking it. The hardest part IMO is buying the ring and you did that.
You could propose to her literally anywhere, in bed, in front of the TV, across the street from your house (DH and I were just on a routine stroll around the neighborhood), and it would be special.
Just don’t propose to her while she’s on the toilet and you’re good.
Post # 23
guyneedsadvice : The fact that you care so much is what will probably matter most to her. For most women it’s not about extravagance, it’s just about something heartfelt…and not making her wait for 1000 years.
I’d wait for the vacation because it is only 1 month away and because it’s well within the timeline you and she have discussed. But if that gets cancelled or delayed or something, definetly do it in the camping spot. That’s sweet, meaningful, and romantic. It will certainly be one of her most treasured memories in either location.
Post # 24
Well I (we) did it! And I promised to come back with an update so here I am!
I took everyones advice to heart and after some deliberation, I decided to go with my original plan (mountains, log cabin, snow, etc.) and it went off perfectly! I’m sure no one cares for details, but she said it was perfect and it was how she had always envisioned it. I guess it doesn’t get much better than that. I’m just so relieved it’s over!
So I just wanted to say thank you all again for taking the time to give me some advice and helping to calm my brain. I know some of you are on pins and needles while you anticipate your own proposal, so I hope that my post gives you a little insight and hope.
If anyone would like to talk or ask questions (male point of view, advice, catharsis, etc.) feel free to send me a PM or post here.
Thank you and best of luck to you all.
Post # 25
What?! We love details around here when it comes to proposals! We love pics even more!
Your proposal sounds lovely. Congratulations!
Post # 26
Congratulations!! Sounds like it was super sweet and romantic.
Post # 27
personally i wish my now husband had put any bit of thought into how he would ask me. it was on a trip (that *i* made happen b/c i have to plan everything. i would have rather it have happened somewhere meaningful to us in a way that was meaningful. i even let him off the hook by asking for a $100 ring, so i thought after 5 years together he could have at least made the moment special. he asked and that was it. there was no thought or creativity or meaning put into it. i don’t think a good proposal has to be “extravagent,” i just think it has to be personal and show that you know your fiance well.
Post # 28
Talk to her best friend. My husband asked my BFF what I wanted and the proposal was perfect. I’m a theater person and he proposed to me after a show I was supposed to be in (I broke my foot and it was a dance show). My best friend drove up to take pictures. It was also the theater where I performed my favorite role and a lot of my friends were present, as well. Ask her best friend. 🙂
Post # 29
Nm, didn’t see the update. Congrats!