(Closed) Proposal at a wedding?!

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012 - Sunset Harbour

@MrsCypresstobe: Tell her to talk to him directly. “Not on my wedding day. It’s completely innapropriate.” If that doesn’t work, the best she can do is try to make it as unpublic as possible. Have her talk to the DJ/Band and tell him that her father is forbidden to be given the mic at any time. 

Post # 4
Member
2289 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2010

@b00kbug: <—- what she said. Goes double for the “make sure the DJ/MC/whoever does not allow him the mic”.

Post # 5
Member
375 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Wow. That is terrible. On the one hand, while I would LOVE LOVE LOVE for my Maid/Matron of Honor and my twin brother to finally get engaged at my wedding, that is really the only couple that I would be nothing but happy about. I would be fuming if I knew in advance that a relationship I didn’t approve of was going to progress to “engaged” at my wedding, especially if it included my FATHER.

At least if he told her about it, maybe they can discuss when and where it takes place? It doesn’t have to be an enormous public occasion, and that wouldn’t be so bad. Still crappy though, all things considered.

Post # 6
Member
248 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

Does your friend know this might be happening? Oh wait I think you said she was the one who told you. I think I would tell her that maybe she should have a conversation with her Dad that at her wedding is not a good time for that… I would be extremeley upset is someone proposed to someone else on my day, and if it was my father I would probably have a heart attack. But thats just my opinion, maybe other girls would love it? 

Post # 7
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Totally not ok!!

She for sure needs to tell him that it’s a big NO on HER day!

Post # 8
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I roll with most punches, especially with the wedding stuff, but I would be SO PISSED if that happened to me.  Maybe you should give your friend a heads-up so she can intervene?

Post # 9
Member
177 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

If I were her I would talk to my dad and ask him to refrain from proposing to her until after MY wedding.  I would not only be embarressed and not happy but I would be mortified.  I would talk to her and tell her that she really needs to have a heart to heart with her dad.  If he really loves her he would not do that at HER wedding. 

Post # 10
Member
994 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

@b00kbug: good point. Keep the mic away from him.

that poor girl, it’s just so trashy of him to do that.

Post # 11
Member
1626 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You know, depending on the couple I may be ok with this. Like if my step dad (not really my parents aren’t married) FINALLY proposed to my mom at my wedding I’d be extatic.

BUT if my step sister’s flavor of the month who hits her tried to pull that I’d shove my bouquet up his ass.

I don’t think she should flat out say that she doesn’t approve of him marrying her and that’s why he shouldn’t, because he may do it out of spite then. I would have her calmly explain that she would be hurt if he tried to take away from her special day and ask if at the VERY LEAST he could do it in private if he wont budge on that day rather than doing a public proposal.

Post # 12
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

this totally reminded me of when Sonny proposed to Brenda in front of everyone at Luke and Tracy’s wedding – and even the Quartermaines said this was not cool!

Post # 13
Member
1192 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I would never want that to happen on my wedding day… He can ask her any other day but not that day… No way would that fly with me….

Post # 14
Member
7296 posts
Busy Beekeeper

seriously though, i think this would only really be okay if the bride and groom and pretty much no one else knew about it.  like it would be sweet if someone bf secretly proposed to his gf because they were at a wedding and it was just between them.  i would hope they dont go around announcing it or anything.

Post # 15
Member
1699 posts
Bumble bee

Help me out, ladies!

I cannot for the life of me see why anyone would care. Surely it is no-one’s business except the person making the proposal and the person considering the proposal — not even the bride’s and groom’s. Even if the lady says “yes” and they announce their engagement the very next day, even if they whip out their smart phones and change their Facebook status immediately, the bride and groom are going to be off on their honeymoon before they even hear of it. Yet, you ladies are not usually so irrational as to be upset by other people’s private conversations. So…

Is it assumed nowadays that any proposal will by default be made with public flamboyance? How awful if so! Don’t the proposers realize that … it is no-one’s business but their own?

Sure, it was charming the first time someone thought of doing sky-writing, or putting their proposal on the omni-tron during a half-time show, or putting a diamond ring in the box of curly-fries. It seemed sweet and courageous, that the proposer was willing to risk by his public proposal the humiliation of an equally public rejection. But the second time it seemed at best derivative and at worst exhibitionist. By the third time it seemed cliched and hackneyed. And due consideration of the “spot” such a proposal places a non-compliant proposee in, where she has to choose between dumping the proposer quickly or accepting temporarily to salvage his dignity, quickly strips the last vestiges of charm from the cliche. Not to mention that, when you consider that in most cases the proposer and proposee are already sharing a bed and a bank account, the risk he is taking is non-existant and the proposal itself is pretty much moot: more a proposal to buy a diamond and choose a full day of exhibitionism, than a proposal to take a courageous step together into a changed life and an unknown future.

Grabbing the microphone and bellowing out a public proposal is in terrible taste regardless whether done at someone’s wedding or at a nightclub. But a decent private (and in former years, normal) proposal along the lines of: “look at them: they look so happy! There is only one thing that could make me that happy: will you marry me?” quietly murmured in a discrete corner — would there be any reason to object to that?

Post # 16
Member
2701 posts
Sugar bee

I don’t even understand why someone would even want to propose at someone’s wedding. Where is the romance in that? Fiance proposed to me on a night that we were guests to a wedding, but he waited until we got back to the hotel. IMO it is not polite to deter the attention away from the bride and groom. They have spent a great deal of time and money making this one of the most memorable days in their lives. The fact that someone wants to steal a little of that is just selfish IMO.

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