(Closed) Proposal Confusion

posted 7 years ago in Proposals
Post # 3
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

Hmmmm…. that is a tricky situation.  I would take it as a real one bc he did remember the next day lol. But maybe do talk to him. Do you have a ring? My Fiance re-proposed to me this past Feb. because we got engaged in Mar 09 and stuff happened blah blah and it just felt like it was the right thing to do he said so we upgraded my ring to the one we could afford. Maybe ya’ll can do something like that? We have been together for 7 years on Sept 6th and I am glad he re-did it all:) Meant more to both of us!

Post # 5
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissV2008: Hmm, that’s tough. Maybe, since it was a the beginning of the year, you could suggest you have a ‘formal’ proposal on the anniversary of it? Would he want to wear his own e-ring? You could also ‘propose’ to him then, too. You could express to him that while you’re SO excited to get married to him, the original caught you a bit off guard and you didn’t quite feel as if you were 100% there because with the informalness/booze involved, you didn’t know that THIS WAS IT! 

If you explain to him (a bunch!) how much he means to you and how excited you are to marry him, but that you’d just really love a sweet, romantic (sober) proposal, maybe he’d take it well? Esp if it was a ‘formal recognition of your ‘real’ proposal’ on the anniversary of his original asking? 

Post # 7
Member
5118 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@MissV2008: I think honesty is the best policy on this one. It means a lot to you, so it should mean a lot to him. Even if it’s with the same ring he originally used (if he did buy that band that the friend tossed him), it’s the symbolism and sweetness of the serious expression of his feelings that you feel you missed, so even just having a time to intimately share that with one another is important. 

Can you maybe look up his gig schedule from that time of year? Or ask your friend? Did anyone take any photos? If not of the proposal, of the gigs or the dinner? Maybe you can find the date that way. I hope it goes well! 

Post # 8
Member
7587 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2010

@MissV2008: Communication is key in a successful marriage. So you have to be honest now too. He’ll be ok. 

Post # 9
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I would say be honest and communicate about it – I think a re-proposal when he gets a proper ring would be nice. 

I dont see how you could hurt his feelings – he should recognize it was kind of half ass and if anything he should be concerned about how your feelings would be/ are hurt by that.

Post # 14
Member
74 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Maybe when you pick out your own ring, you can ask him to surprise you with it and “re-pop” the question?

I didn’t get a traditional romantic proposal. Mine actually came the morning after a pretty significant disagreement (after we worked it out), without a ring. It didn’t bother me until I hit the “tell me how he asked you!!” demands from friends. And then I just decided the important thing was that we were making a big commitment to a life together.

Post # 15
Member
5269 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2016

I agreee with all the PP’s. Good advice!

Post # 16
Member
58 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: January 2012 - Vallecito Lake

I second being honest…I would also stress that you don’t need an extravagant redo engagement but something more ‘real’ with a ring intended for you and the proposal. Good luck!

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