(Closed) Proposal Demands?

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
Post # 32
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2012

You should just be happy that he wants to be with you. That’s a little bit too much pressure on his part.

Post # 33
Member
1731 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I really don’t mean to go on a rant here but I didn’t demand anything. Demands, promise rings, perfect proposals, photographers to catch the moment?  What is all this stuff?  It sounds like high school or a reality show.  I don’t get it?  Maybe I’m just old-fashioned not hip on the times or not of the Twilight generation.  Last I knew the promise ring was a fad, something that some boy band brought into the light publically, wearing to signify that they weren’t going to have sex before mariage and I thought that was something they either bought themselves or their parents gave them. It was even a goof on South Park. I’m not sure when that morphed into pre-engagement ring or if they are still two seperate entities. (I know you didn’t mention a promise ring.) I’m not knocking it all I just really don’t understand the concept or why any of these things are necessary. And to remember the moment you could also take a nice cell pic of both your happy faces together afterward and it would be just as much of a trigger no?  I know FI’s description of my face will always make me remember.  I know that a ring and a wedding are not necessary either and I didn’t demand either.  I asked for an engagement ring and we are having a wedding to make my parents and our family happy, (I’m sure we will have fun too though).   The bottom line marrying the man (or woman) you love.  

Do you really mean demand?   Or do you mean asked? Like you mentioned you told him you would prefer this, prefer that? And even then this seems sort of ridiculous?  Like pre-bridezilla behavior that has leeched its way into the “real” proposal as you stated.  I’m not trying to put you down I’m just like what the heck? Confused. I would just like to understand the reasoning behind why it is okay to demand anything.  Asking fine but demanding?

And its not just you. I’ve seen a lot of girls do this and I really just don’t get it.  It’s like the guy and mariage gets put on the back burner and its all the stuff that matters.  The story, the ring etc and it seems to overshadow the meaning of it all.

In my case, my Fiance had already pretty much proposed (we had discussed and decided to get married) to me before he got down on one knee with a ring.  I had asked him long before hand if he would call my parents for their blessing (mostly out of respect for my father its a cultural thing) and if he was going to do a “real proposal” that I had always pictured seeing the guy on one knee.  I also asked if he would get me a ring even if it was just a placeholder.  Then he surprised me one day and I walked in with him on one knee holding the ring I had really wanted.  There were no words.  Just a hug and a kiss and him putting the thing on my finger. It was amazing to me that he did that and went through all that effort to get me that ring.  I consider the “real proposal” to be more like the presentation of the ring, since we had already discussed mariage and laid out plans for doing so.

ETA: Out of curiosity how will you honestly feel about the whole thing if he doesn’t follow your “demands” perfectly?   

Post # 34
Member
1390 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Yikes.

No demands here either.

Post # 35
Member
1043 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Mrs Christopher:  +100

I feel the same as you.  Maybe it’s because we got engaged 14 years ago and we didn’t have the social media that we have now, but I had no demands or expectations.  We never discussed rings so the proposal was a complete surprise, which is exactly what DH wanted.  Sometimes he will bring up how maybe he should have been more elaborate but I constantly reassure him that I would not have changed a thing about the way he proposed.

FWIW, I was wearing a pair of jeans shorts and a tee shirt.  It was hot outside.  My nails weren’t done.  My hair was not “done” like I was going somewhere nice.  Those little things didn’t matter.

“I really, really want a secret photographer because I have a terrble memory and after 1-2 years, I’ll start to forget the details of our proposal, I’m sure.  And that’s something I NEVER want to forget.”

My memory is not the best, yet I remember very vividly, all the details of his proposal.  It’s one of those moments you will honestly never forget.

Post # 36
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@futuremrsk18:  

I loved it! it was suprise and so laid back and so us. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 37
Member
531 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I don’t remember all the words he said…I was too caught up in the WHOA THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING!!!

 

full disclosure. I wasn’t wearing a bra and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. it was the end of a lovely weekend and we were just relaxing.

Post # 38
Member
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Nah, that’s a little too bridezilla for me. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 39
Member
9168 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I really, really want a secret photographer because I have a terrble memory and after 1-2 years, I’ll start to forget the details of our proposal, I’m sure.

Photos of it or not, you’ll forget the details about 2 seconds after it happens – you won’t remember a word he said.  In the moment I told myself to focus and try to remember everything – I can’t remember much at all.  There honestly aren’t that many “little details” to forget (except the words which won’t be captured in photos anyways!) Well, unless he goes all out and does some crazy scavenger hut rose petals scattered everywhere type of deal I guess.

While I think all those things – secret photogs and surprise engagement parties after are all sweet ideas – I just dont think it would mean as much if I had told him before hand to do it.  The way I see it, the part that is sweet is that he did it all by himself.

Post # 40
Member
3954 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@MrsWBS:  This is so true!!! I don’t remember a word he said, but he had it written down so I took the crumpled paper and framed it so I can read it every day ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 41
Member
32 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think that the moment should be special and a complete surprise! I really liked having a genuine reaction! My only “demand” was that he ask my for parents’ belessing, which he did without letting them know how or when he was going to pop the big question! They were just as surprised as I was! I don’t think you should demand anything, let him do things his way, it’s his grand gesture! The wedding is your day – you can plan all the details then!

Post # 42
Member
369 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

I know a girl that demands it be attached to a specific type of pet or she’ll say no. Yep, requires buying the ring & the pet to go with it.

Post # 44
Member
356 posts
Helper bee

Wow. Demands? Poor guy, this is just the start for him.

Be happy he actually wants to propose to you! You don’t need all that crap.

Post # 45
Member
894 posts
Busy bee

I just really, really want a photographer. That’s all. Don’t care whether it’s private or public, big or understated, formal or pajamas. As long as I get a couple pictures of our faces.

The topic ‘Proposal Demands?’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors