Proposal Expectations

posted 2 years ago in Proposals
Post # 16
Member
2700 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

I just told him. I guess it sort of took away some of the surprise, but I’m not huge into surprises anyhow. I told him about 10 times that he COULD NOT ask my parents, because I oppose it on a visceral level. I also told him I didn’t want anyone else to be around. It ended up being at home, and was awesome. He definitely didn’t feel any pressure because I had zero expectations (or desire) for an instagram proposal. 

Post # 17
Member
6231 posts
Bee Keeper

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gatsbygirl :  honestly, I told him that if he thought a public display was a good idea, there’d be no engagement. It was mostly joking though, he’d like that even less than I would! What I got in the end really sucked, barring the part where we didn’t split up instead (sometimes ‘waiting’ goes far longer than it should in a good relationship). But I was definitely aiming for being somewhere pretty but private. I got the sofa after a come to god discussion. 

Post # 18
Member
789 posts
Busy bee

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gatsbygirl :  Just tell him. I told my husband I wanted input on the ring… I ended up picking it (with his input). I told him I wanted a low key proposal that was special to us, but not at home. He did it at a quiet restaurant/wine bar and it was still a private moment between us as no one was paying attention.

He told me he didnt want a big showy proposal bc he would be embarassed. I agreed. Just have an honest conversation about what you definitely dont want, and generally what you like. He’s a smart man and he can figure it out from there.

Post # 19
Member
316 posts
Helper bee

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gatsbygirl :  this is hopefully his one time in life to propose. Pretty much everything from the ring to the wedding is MUCH more centered on YOU and what you want. So. just let him do it his way and praise however he did it 

Post # 20
Member
755 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2019

I told my husband only to NOT do it in a restaurant because I hate that. Neither of us like being the center of attention so he probably wouldn’t have done that anyway and I knew it wouldn’t be a big public thing. I think you can be honest with him and it’ll still be a surprise! 

Post # 21
Member
1504 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

I am just so confused why there has to be expectations one way or the other…. like just get proposed to and move on, it is as much their moment as yours, so let them do something organically… not sure why there is all these rules now. I am sure most people know their significant others well enough to know weather it should be over the top or not…I mean if it’s not exaclty how you want it would you say “no”?!?! probably not.

Post # 22
Member
316 posts
Helper bee

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jaydeeplatinum :  I know I didn’t have rules. How other girls get proposed to has no affect on me 

Post # 23
Member
10217 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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bouviebee :  

Just the two of you seems so romantic to me.  Of course, pets MUST be included in any proposal to make it valid.  It’s the law.

Post # 24
Member
258 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2020 - NH Squam Lake Elopement

We had talked about it years prior to getting engaged and he said “I dunno a restaurant I guess?” And I was like helllll naw! But by the time we got engaged we had discussed our wedding and being married so much already it wasn’t really a surprise. He did it at our favorite arcade!

Post # 26
Member
53 posts
Worker bee

I’m currently waiting, but I know he’s planning to propose in January. He knows that I don’t care if it’s lowkey. Honestly, if I got a proposal while watching a movie, I’d be happy. 

He wants to make it a big proposal. Not super public, but something “more memorable than sitting at home”. My only request was IF our friends are going to be there, make sure someone is ready to take pictures for me.

Post # 27
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2021 - Smoky Mountains

I chose the ring ahead of time and had an idea of when he bought it, but I didn’t tell him how to propose. He did really well though, to the point where I almost feel embarassed to say how he proposed because of how it sounds. For people who don’t know us personally, it can come across as very… bougie or over the top. But it was just a matter of things happening at the right time and right place.

Post # 28
Member
195 posts
Blushing bee

I’m on Instagram and posting from time to time. I’m in the social circle where all my friends post things on Instagram on the time. But, I didnt care at all how my proposal will be, it will always be perfect since the man I loves asked me to marry him. He proposed at home after he came back from game night wearing his favorite football team scarf and I was doing my nails and eating cup noodle, it was perfect ❤️

Post # 29
Member
45 posts
Newbee

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gatsbygirl :  I think you’re totally on the right track OP 🙂 when I was waiting for him to propose, I had a lot of the same thoughts and feelings as you did. I loved the idea of an everyday proposal. I told him I’d love it if it was just the two of us doing something we loved but I’d leave the rest to him. He ended up surprising me by doing it at one of my favorite lookout spots overlooking the Bay on one of our regular weekend hikes with the dogs. To say it was perfect would be an understatement. We live on the opposite coast now, but I love that that spot will always be “ours”. When I was talking to him after the fact, he told me that he had always pictured himself asking on a hike. I think if you know your guy, he may just surprise you and have the same thoughts about the proposal as you do!

Post # 30
Member
10217 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

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gatsbygirl :  

Bee, as usual, it comes down to the same answer:  communicate.  This is the man to whom you are pledging your future.  You should be able to talk to him about anything.

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