(Closed) Proposal gone wrong…

posted 9 years ago in Proposals
Post # 17
Member
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Echo PP, it is not the proposal to be redone, it’s the relationship that is the problem. You deserve better than what you have gotten from this guy, and you should leave. 

Post # 18
Member
1812 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

@Zera88:  “But I also don’t want to be the ungrateful Fiance whose partner’s proposal ‘wasn’t good enough'”

It’s not only the proposal that wasn’t good enough, but his behaviour towards you and your relationship.  And afterwards he has made no effort to redeem himself whatsoever.  I can’t help but think he has you right where he wants you.  He gets to act like an ass and cheat on you, then just put on some tears so that you don’t leave, knowing full well you’re not going anywhere.

My dear, my advice is get packing and get going.  You deserve a hell of a lot more!

Post # 19
Member
42 posts
Newbee

@Zera88:  He seems to have disappointed you time and time again. And I’m talking BEFORE the proposal! If this becomes a neverending pattern, are you willing to stick around longterm for a man like this?

Post # 20
Member
878 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Honey, I moved away from my loved ones for a person who ended up being toxic and controlling.  And it was the photo evidence I found of his cheating that made me run home into the loving arms of my family and friends.  And it was the best decision I ever made.  My life was able to start and I found love and happiness more then the toxic loser could ever give me.

Post # 21
Member
6244 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 1900

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@Bride7844:  Run!! Far far away right NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!  <<<<—- That pretty much sums up my first thought.

 

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@Zera88:  How long were you two in therapy?  Sounds like you two either need to keep getting professional help or you just need to woman up and leave him. 

Post # 22
Member
1212 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Zee hills, where art thou? run run run

Post # 23
Member
1718 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Zera88:  I’m going to completely and unamisously agree with all the posts before me.  This relationship is already full of holes.  Unless you patch up the holes for you get engaged/married, it will only collapse from underneath you.  Given the circumstances, there is WAY too many issues with this relationship.  It is one thing to deal with cheating or drug use but you have a combination of one too many. 

I’ve been in a relationship similar to yours.  I ended up prolonging the break-up because he proposed.  We never got married because that was never his intent and he cheated AGAIN.  In the end, it was the biggest regret I have in my life. 

Post # 24
Member
41 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Engagements are not supposed to be bandaids for your problems. They are supposed to enhance the good and beauty of your relationship.

As I type this response, there are over 20 women who have responded with the exact same advice: you deserve SO much more! Everyone does. No one deserves to be with someone who messes up so badly, time and time again, and then simply tries to cover it up. HE NEVER ADDRESSED THE ISSUE AT HAND!!!!  Guess what that means… it will happen again… and again… and again.

Allow yourself to be loved the way every woman should be loved. Get away, remember how wondeful you are, and decide… no, DEMAND that you deserve someone who will cherish YOU and ONLY you!!

Post # 25
Member
1227 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

A proposal and marriage are as likely to fix a relationship as having a baby will.

Which is to say, NOT AT ALL.

This relationship sounds broken. Don’t worry about getting another proposal, worry about how to either fix this relationship or get out if it. And if I’m being really honest, “get out of it” sounds like the better option.

Post # 26
Member
4192 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

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@frugaldiybride:  SO TURE: Engagements are not supposed to be bandaids for your problems. They are supposed to enhance the good and beauty of your relationship.

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@Bubu82:  DITTO: A proposal and marriage are as likely to fix a relationship as having a baby will. Which is to say, NOT AT ALL.

I’m sorry, but your relationship isn’t good enough-forget the proposal. He cheated on you and your relationship has disasters? 

You need to let him go and move back home. Marriage should never be a last resort,

Post # 26
Member
3261 posts
Sugar bee

I FOR SURE think you need a redo proposal…. with another guy, at another time, under different circumstances. 

Post # 27
Member
26 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Well, I’m not one to tell another to leave thier mate or end thier relationship because I’m not in your shoes. But, I think you have to sit down and really look at your relationship and see if this is who you really want to spend the rest of your life with. Seems like you have to have more love and respect for yourself so that he will too. I wish you all the best of luck in whatever, you decide.

Post # 28
Member
17 posts
Newbee

“I FOR SURE think you need a redo proposal…. with another guy, at another time, under different circumstances.” <—- This.

Post # 29
Member
3501 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2002

i think you should let him go and move on.

Post # 30
Member
1517 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I honestly didn’t get past the first paragraph of your post. If your whole relationship has been a string of lies, you need to run, as fast as you can, away from this man. He will continue to lie, and then you will be trapped in a marriage, maybe with kids too, and then what? It’s not worth it. Get out while you can.

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