(Closed) Proposal looming?

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

You are “becoming convinced”–are you convinced yourself?

This seems very very fast to me, but I understand other people don’t move at the glacial pace I do. my gut feeling is to tell you to wait until the end of the year, at a minimum, before getting engaged, so you can get to know him after the exciting honeymoon period.  

As far as family not being excited, this would concern me because my family matters a lot to me, and they are rational people. I probably wouldn’t marry someone that my family wasn’t excited about, unless they had shown their opinions to be mean spirited or inappropriate. 

Post # 3
Member
3224 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 

Kacey23:  given your history of letting your parents interfere with your old relationship – yes, I think it will matter for you in the end. I also think you should slow waaaay down considering the timeline here and that of your old relationship. 

Post # 4
Member
1310 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

Every time you post here, people tell you to slow your roll and point out that you only talk about what other people want, not what you want.  Nothing ever seems to change.

Post # 5
Member
2928 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Kacey23:  what is it that your parents and friend don’t like about him? I know from your prior posts that your parents are very religious and that was why they didn’t like your former boyfriend. Is it that he isn’t religious enough for them or do they disapprove of how fast your relationship is moving?

Yes, I think it definitely makes life much easier if you have the support of your family. But in order to give good advice, we need to know if this is just an instance of your parents being overbearing or is there a legitimate concern.

Post # 6
Member
2604 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

Kacey23:  not everyone is all happy and excited for others, but people you are close to that have your best interest at heart are not going to be unhappy without a reason. I guess finding out that reason and figuring out why is the real objective. If it is a legitimate concern, I would consider what they are concerned about.

Post # 7
Member
9961 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

Lawd, girl. You’ve been dating since March. Its fantastic you are enjoying yourselves so much but there is no reason to rush into marriage just because you’re having fun. And you especially shouldn’t rush into marriage so you can both not feel guilty about having sex (which has been an issue before and what first brought up marriage talk between you).

You’re in the puppy love phase or your relationship. You haven’t really had enough time to get to know the ins and outs of this man. Aside from that, you jumped right into it with this guy two months after breaking up with your ex. I know you’re happy and excited but if this is the real deal then whats the matter with just enjoying your relationship for a while before you get engaged and married?

I think your parents and friends have valid concerns.

Post # 8
Member
302 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

slomotion:  relevant username to this discussionđŸ˜ƒ

Post # 10
Member
4252 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Kacey23:  Yes girl, that sounds like a perfect idea!  Getting engaged after 4 months ALWAYS works out and obviously you have your life together and you know who you are and where you are going in life.  This is obviously a healthy relationship, one not driven by lust and guilt.  Go ahead!  Marriage isn’t a lifelong commitment or anything…….

*******SARCASM************

I’ve told you I don’t even know HOW MANY times that you have a lot of stuff to figure out in your life.  Everyone on here has.  Yet you keep coming back for more and more and more and YOU IGNORE ALL THE ADVICE GIVEN TO YOU.  ALL of it.  You ignore your friend and your parents who know you so very well and who tell you they are worried about you and your relationship.  I mean YEAH you have to figure out yourself before you will be ready and YEAH your parents have been crazy controlling…………..but they CARE ABOUT YOU AND THEY LOVE YOU.  They want the BEST for you.

You are YOUNG and you VERY OBVIOUSLY are easily swayed by boys you date.  In completely, blunt honestly, there is NO WAY IN HELL you are ready for a marriage.  You are so insanely naive and it’s obvious that marriage is important to you which is fine…….but it ALSO sounds like marriage is the end-all be-all in your mind.  What happens when you get out of this puppy love and you realize he isn’t as great and “perfect” as you thought he was?  Have you discussed finances?  Children?  Your future careers?  Religion (from past posts it sounds like you aren’t a fan of your current religion)?  Politics?  How does he handle conflict?  Have you fought yet?  Does he support you emotionally?

If you aren’t ready to deal with almost a guarantee of a divorce, don’t get engaged and for the love of all things holy DO NOT GET MARRIED.

Post # 11
Member
9961 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

I’d also like to point out this:

“Less than a year ago I was thoroughly convinced that my ex was the one I’d spend the rest of my life with. Now I’m becoming convinced that my current boyfriend is the one.”

You were convinced about your ex. Look how that worked out. It seems to me like you are convinced every guy you date “is the one”.

AND ANOTHER THING

Three weeks ago you were totally weirded out about this guy and admitted your feelings had changed about him because of the somewhat weirdass story he told you about how he thinks every day about the time he saw his baby sitter have sex when we was 7. 

 

Post # 12
Member
1263 posts
Bumble bee

You need to chill out, it’s been 3 months. 

Post # 13
Member
1165 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Please slow down. It sounds like one of those high school relationships where things move really fast, you think he’s the one, and before you know it you’re onto the next guy. Rinse, lather and repeat. This is way too soon. Goodness take a step back!

Post # 14
Member
1199 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Not sure how old you are- I was 34 when I met my fiance. We moved in together after dating for 6 months, got engaged after 10 months together, and will be married after a nearly 2 year engagement. 

We also have never had a single fight. Our goals and values are completely aligned. Communication is honest and open. We are both independent and financially comfortable. We have been together through a severe illness and multiple surgeries as a result which nearly killed him. Until I wiped my partner’s ass in hospital and cleaned him up, I had no idea just how much the idea of “for better or worse” truly meant, despite this being my second marriage. 

I can honestly say that I am marrying my best friend. I’m not going to tell you that it’s too soon to be engaged, but do NOT do it simply because there is passion. That fades, and it fades relatively quickly. You’d better have a lot that bonds you because the ride won’t always be smooth. 

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