(Closed) Proposal or Marriage?

posted 7 years ago in Grooms/men
  • poll: Are men more freaked out by the engagement or the marriage?
    Engagement : (20 votes)
    38 %
    Marriage : (7 votes)
    13 %
    It depends : (8 votes)
    15 %
    Who knows? Men are from Mars... : (18 votes)
    34 %
  • Post # 3
    1227 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Totally this way for me and Fiance. FI considers that getting engaged was the big commitment – I feel like the big commitment is made on the wedding day.

    Post # 4
    7771 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    Maybe it has something to do with how men are the ones that are suposed to propose?  So they feel like it is more their decision or something/ more in their hands?  I don’t know. 

    Darling Husband and I don’t really apply to this, so I can’t really speak from experience.

    Post # 5
    2154 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    I think generalizations about how “men” and “women” feel are totally meaningless, and will only further confuse and frustrate the confused and frustrated.

    Post # 6
    6892 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: March 2012

    OH he was totally freaking the day of the engagement. Like, seriously freaking out. So much so that all he got out was “Will you?” Lol. I think he’ll be calmer on the wedding day because he’ll have a long time to get used to that idea and we can talk about it.

    Post # 7
    3982 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2011

    According to Mr. Hedgie they are the same thing. You don’t propose unless you fully intend to marry a girl. So you can’t seperate the two.

    Post # 11
    172 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: April 2011

    My fiance brought this up the other night and feels exactly the same as yours. According to him, when a man decides to propose to you, he has decided to marry you. The committment is made. Women (he says) accept the proposal, but their fears/ reservations continue to play out until the wedding and there is still a chance for wavering or a change of heart, whereas for the man all issues/ uncertainties have already been ironed out in his brain and its a done deal for him. Makes sense to me!

    Post # 12
    14486 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    I think they are more freaked out by the proposal as well.  They’re the one asking *you* to marry *them*, they’ve already decided what they want.  Once they ask, they’d happily hop on down to city hall and sign the papers right there and then if we didn’t have this dream wedding to plan.

    Post # 13
    25 posts
    • Wedding: November 2012

    I think the proposal makes men more nervous than weddings. once they decide to propose it’s because they’ve done the speculating and soul searching. the foooorrrrrreeeverrr moment doesn’t hit a woman until after the proposal. this is why I think it’s a little unfair that such a big decision in a couple’s life is done separately. every other big decision is thoroughly discussed together beforehand.. when you want to buy a house, have babies, etc..

    I know the whole proposal process is soo romantic and sweet. and we cherish it forever. but the man decides the time and springs it on their girlfriend. I guess women are expected to say yes.

    hehe my feminist side creeps up from time to time.

    Post # 14
    615 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2011

    Fiance was nervous about the engagement, but once he proposed, he was happy he did it. I didn’t get nervous until after the proposal, but now I am just as happy as he is :-). I knew we were meant to be together.

    Post # 15
    7587 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2010

    So funny! Darling Husband and I talked about this last night. He said the same thing. I had really cold feet before the wedding and now looking back feel a little guilty about it. He however said he had cold feet before proposing and that he was able to go through it at his own pace and that once I picked a wedding date that was it. No going back.

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