Post # 1
So I remember seeing someone on here once (sorry I don’t remember who) say that they thought men were more nervous about getting engaged, whereas women are more nervous about actually getting married. I think this comment stemmed from someone who had recently gotten engaged (who really really wanted to get engaged) having a bit of a freakout when they realized that the next step is marriage (also known as Fffffoooorrrrreeeevvvvveeeeerrrrrr). It just made me think. I think it sort of makes sense…men take the proposal very seriously and pretty much make the decision before they propose that they are ready to be married whereas women maybe don’t really think of marriage as such a huge commitment until after they get the proposal. So I want to know what y’all think. Do you think men are more freaked out by the engagement or the marriage?
Post # 3
Totally this way for me and Fiance. FI considers that getting engaged was the big commitment – I feel like the big commitment is made on the wedding day.
Post # 4
Maybe it has something to do with how men are the ones that are suposed to propose? So they feel like it is more their decision or something/ more in their hands? I don’t know.
Darling Husband and I don’t really apply to this, so I can’t really speak from experience.
Post # 5
I think generalizations about how “men” and “women” feel are totally meaningless, and will only further confuse and frustrate the confused and frustrated.
Post # 6
OH he was totally freaking the day of the engagement. Like, seriously freaking out. So much so that all he got out was “Will you?” Lol. I think he’ll be calmer on the wedding day because he’ll have a long time to get used to that idea and we can talk about it.
Post # 7
According to Mr. Hedgie they are the same thing. You don’t propose unless you fully intend to marry a girl. So you can’t seperate the two.
Post # 8
@Beluga: I can understand how you feel. I’m not trying to confuse anyone and hopefully everyone here is smart enough to understand this is not some sort of scientific study or anything. I just thought that it was a really thought provoking statement and wanted to hear what other people thought about it.
Post # 9
@Mrs Hedgehog: I agree with him! 🙂
Post # 10
@Mrs Hedgehog: I think that’s the point that the original person who said it was making. Like to men, when they “take the plunge” and actually propose they’re already making that commitment to forever, but women tand to focus more on the “steps” and take things as they happen. So they don’t really start to come to terms with everything marriage entails until they get the engagement. I hope I’m making sense lol. Thank Mr. Hedgie, I like having a man’s thoughts on this as well 🙂
Post # 11
My fiance brought this up the other night and feels exactly the same as yours. According to him, when a man decides to propose to you, he has decided to marry you. The committment is made. Women (he says) accept the proposal, but their fears/ reservations continue to play out until the wedding and there is still a chance for wavering or a change of heart, whereas for the man all issues/ uncertainties have already been ironed out in his brain and its a done deal for him. Makes sense to me!
Post # 12
I think they are more freaked out by the proposal as well. They’re the one asking *you* to marry *them*, they’ve already decided what they want. Once they ask, they’d happily hop on down to city hall and sign the papers right there and then if we didn’t have this dream wedding to plan.
Post # 13
I think the proposal makes men more nervous than weddings. once they decide to propose it’s because they’ve done the speculating and soul searching. the foooorrrrrreeeverrr moment doesn’t hit a woman until after the proposal. this is why I think it’s a little unfair that such a big decision in a couple’s life is done separately. every other big decision is thoroughly discussed together beforehand.. when you want to buy a house, have babies, etc..
I know the whole proposal process is soo romantic and sweet. and we cherish it forever. but the man decides the time and springs it on their girlfriend. I guess women are expected to say yes.
hehe my feminist side creeps up from time to time.
Post # 14
Fiance was nervous about the engagement, but once he proposed, he was happy he did it. I didn’t get nervous until after the proposal, but now I am just as happy as he is :-). I knew we were meant to be together.
Post # 15
So funny! Darling Husband and I talked about this last night. He said the same thing. I had really cold feet before the wedding and now looking back feel a little guilty about it. He however said he had cold feet before proposing and that he was able to go through it at his own pace and that once I picked a wedding date that was it. No going back.