Proposal soon?

posted 1 week ago in Proposals
Post # 2
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee

He might! It’s hard to say. But I’m concerned by, “He told his mother that the next person he dates, he will marry.” That’s a super weird thing to say. I’d be concerned that he’s using you to check a box rather than wanting to marry you

Post # 3
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ysel :   Its hard to say, I mean bringing up a potential future wedding doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s going to propose. Have you guys had any real, serious conversations about getting engaged? Have you shopped for rings, or talked about what styles you like?

 

Also I wouldn’t take pride in the fact that you can convince your boyfriend to do what you want… do you think about what HE wants or just push what you want on him like you did with the car?

Post # 6
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee

ysel :  Ah gotcha! Yes that does make a lot more sense with the context. 🙂  

It seems like all signs are pointing to him being quite serious about you. And it sounds like he treats you well and generally is being very lovey and sweet lately. It’s hard to say if that means a proposal is imminent, but it certainly could be. I think 2 years is around the time when a lot of people start to think about engagement. Holiday proposals are really common, so he could be gearing up for that. That said, I wouldn’t get your hopes up to much yet — it’s also possible he still sees that as something in the farther off future. Since he seems eager to talk about marriage, there’s no harm in asking him and being clear about what you want if you feel ready to get engaged.  

Post # 7
Member
1580 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2018

ysel :  Is he bringing up wedding talk more so recently? After I got engaged I looked back on it and my now husband had been bringing up a lot wedding related stuff leading up to the time he proposed, like a couple months before he actually did it he would make comments way more often than he ever had even though we had discussed getting married early on in our relationship. So, yes this could be a sign that your boyfriend is going to propose, but don’t get your hopes up in case it’s not coming quite yet.

 

Post # 10
Member
792 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

If you don’t care one way or the other and will be happy with him regardless then I’ll guess that he will propose but not for another 4 years. 

Post # 11
Member
2082 posts
Buzzing bee

ysel :  I don’t think it should be a bad thing to be eager and excited to marry your bf of 2 years. I get why you’d be afraid to be overeager if you were worried he didn’t also want that or if you were always the one to bring it up, but he’s already brought the topic up numerous times, and it sounds like you always wait for him to initiate. Why should he be the only one putting himself out there in that regard? It’s perfectly normal for two people who are excited about the prospect of marrying each other to bring it up. With the added context, I wonder whether he’s mentioning marriage to try to get your read on things and see where you stand? 

I know when my husband and I were dating, he was also the first one to bring up marriage. He kept asking questions like “what kind of wedding would you want?”/”what’s your favorite wedding you’ve been to?”/”what kind of rings do you like?” before we’d had an actual convo about us getting married. At some point I was just like, “Hey… you’ve been asking a lot of wedding related things lately, but we haven’t really talked about what we both want and if/when we see marriage happening. I’m ready to have that conversation when you are.” 

Post # 12
Member
2492 posts
Buzzing bee

I would definitely have a direct conversation about it. A lot of people talk about marriage/engagement in a roundabout way without having any concrete plans for it. You say you’re happy to wait, but if you keep thinking it’s JUST around the corner and then it takes years – you’re likely to end up resenting him.

Besides, marriage is a big decision involving two people. Just because he’s the one doing the proposing doesn’t mean you have no say in your future or your ability to plan around it. 

It doesn’t have to be some awkward and ominous thing, just the next time marriage comes up ask him “So when do you think you’ll want to get married?” Or, “How long do you see you yourself needing to date someone before getting engaged?” 

 

Post # 13
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

There is nothing wrong with sounding eager (this from somebody who was genuinely not eager). You should be able to have open honest conversations with your partner. It’s not “cool” to fake being a way you are not

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