Post # 1
Just like many of you, I’ve been thinking that a proposal will be coming this holiday season and I’ve been really excited about it. We have a million plans with family and friends in the next two weeks, and then just after the New Year, we are going out for a very extravagant birthday dinner for my 30th (SO EXCITED!!) and I guess I’ve sort of had it in my mind that he would propose on that night.
I felt like I needed to bring it up because I really didn’t want to have expectations of that caliber and feel dissapointed on my 30th birthday, which is something I’ve been looking forward to forever. So I asked him in a cutsie way if this season might be the one for us.
and he said no.
Immediately I began balling and was exremely upset. I think I built it up too much and really thought I was right on the brink. He told me that he had no idea I felt this way at all and that it’s coming really soon. He wants to be a little more on top of his finances but that it’s coming very soon and that I should trust him.
I then told him that of course I know it’s coming but it just goes against my nature to not be allowed to talk about something that so emotional, and so important to me. Whenever I keep something inside and don’t communicate, it always errupts into an emotioanl breakdown :/
So he said, he didn’t exactly see the proposal happening like this and he wished I could be more patient. He said he wanted it to be a surprise, and he wanted to be the man and get the ring and have it be really special but that if I want to be involved, I can be because he lovs me.
I told him that the actual proposal will still be a surprise but I just don’t like being completely in the dark about the time frame. So he said okay. Over the Christmas break we’ll go get your finger sized because I was planning on designing your ring really soon. He says he has only small hints as to what type of ring I want anyway, so it will be helpful to get some input from me. I told him that I love the idea of him designing something himself and I do want the ring to be a surprise and something special from him but that I would LOVE to give him ideas and answer his questions.
He then said that he would like to be married by the end of 2013. !!!!
At first I felt like I stole his proposal thunder, and I felt really terrible about acting out and being so damn impatient. But now I feel better and relaxed and I feel like being clued in and partially involved is what I want. He said he feels good about it too.
YAY! Thanks for reading 🙂
Post # 3
@mousiegirl: I think it’s always better to communicate! Then there aren’t any undertones of tension and pushing things under the rug and all that– it does sound like it will be coming VERY soon, just maybe not as soon as you thought.
How fun that you get to design the ring with him!
Post # 4
@mousiegirl: It sounds like the two of you are on the same page, but you might let him know that a proposal needs to happen sooner, rather than later, if he wants to marry in 2013. My date is 2014, and I already have the venue and photog booked, if that gives you an idea of how early some brides start. If he waits til May or June, you might be stuck with an undesirable wedding date and none of your choice vendors. If it were me, I would tell him that I personally wasn’t picky on the date, but if he is, that needs to inform his proposal plans, because planning a wedding takes a lot more time than most men realize.
Post # 5
@EffieTrinket: We are going to have a very simple wedding because we just can’t wrap our minds around spending $$$ on 1 day. His parents live right on the ocean and that’s where we’ve decided to get married. My brother and sister in law are both chefs and I plan on putting most of the wedding budget towards food LOL
@Creiddylad: I feel way better after talking about it! I want him to be “in charge” of designing the ring but will definitely guide him in the right direction
Post # 6
@mousiegirl: Oh, nice! Then I am sure it will be fine. I just assumed you were doing the usual thing and would have to rent a hall, book a caterer, and all of that. Your wedding sounds like it will be beautiful!
Post # 7
Post # 8
“It just goes against my nature to not be allowed to talk about something that so emotional, and so important to me.”
That is the best way I have ever heard that.
Post # 9
@mousiegirl: This sounds so wonderful! I’m like you and very big on communication. I’m the kind of person who “thinks out loud,” and I can’t stifle my emotions easily.
It really sounds as though your SO is looking just as forward to marrying you as you are to marrying him! Don’t ya love true love? 🙂
He said to trust him and it sounds like you really can. In the meantime if you’re about to pop from anticipation and excitement, there’s always the Bee you can vent on. 😉
Post # 10
wow, that timeline must make it seem so much more solid and real. It’s really really hard for us women to be out of the loop sometimes. I really struggle with the letting-go of control sometimes. I like to be as “in charge” of my life as I can.
Post # 11
@mousiegirl: See this is good news. It’ll be coming soon 🙂 It’s good you had this talk!!
I don’t get the big deal about holiday proposals anyway. I’d rather have a proposal some other time of the year. Xmas is special enough as it is, without tacking something else on. Also, (and I know this sounds really negative) but if you’re proposed to on Xmas on your birthday or something and then you get divorced, wouldn’t it put a damper on future Xmases/birthdays? Just a thought.
Post # 12
@canarydiamond: I do like the idea of the proposal having it’s own day but I would gladly accept the ring on a milestone birthday, no prob!! I am glad that it will come after the holidays…..but there’s always Valentine’s Day!! LOL….he better not;)