- 8 years ago
- Wedding: October 2011
Preface – this is long. Sorry and thank you in advance for “listening”! 🙂
So I was bad. I snooped. I went to use BF’s computer yesterday – and I swear even here, it was almost completely innocent. I wanted to print a knitting pattern, and Boyfriend or Best Friend has the only printer. He had a tab open with his e-mail, and I saw that it was an order confirmation for something. I spent ten minutes agonizing and finally caved in and looked. Sure enough…a ring!
The problem is, it’s due to arrive by September 10 – too late for the Labor Day weekend proposal I’m almost positive that he was planning. We’re spending the long weekend with my parents and brother at my family’s little vacation house near the beach. It would be perfect – he’ll get to speak to my parents, and knowing him, a sunset/sunrise beach proposal would be fantastic. And we’d get to celebrate with my family, who I know will be thrilled. If I had to guess, I’d say that’s exactly what he had in mind. Two nights ago, he came out of his computer room looking really upset. He said he was just really hungry, but when I told him he never gets this upset from being hungry, he said “I can’t talk about it – please just trust me!” and “Everything’s fine.” I’m betting that he realized that he was too late to get the ring in time for the weekend.
So now I don’t know what’s on his mind. He might put the entire proposal off until he has the ring. I know he really wants the complete, perfect moment – ring and all. But then again, this is the last great chance that might come for awhile. I’m under a lot of pressure to finish my graduate thesis soon, and he knows this weekend is my last island of stress-free time before I start working weekends and being a lot less available. Next weekend, when the ring will supposedly arrive, I’m already committed to working both full days. He’d have to down-scale the plan.
OR he might decide to take the beach weekend and propose anyway, ring or not. Or maybe with a temporary ring. He doesn’t know that I know when it’s arriving, so he might surprise me again when it does.
So now I can’t decide what I’d rather he do, and I can’t really do anything about it anyway without completely blowing any surprise that’s left. Would I rather that he propose this weekend without the ring, but in the perfect moment? I dunno… I’m still a little attached to the idea of the proposal-with-ring. Then again, having a second “surprise” when the ring arrives does sound nice.
Or would I rather wait longer for a ring-included proposal, and see what plans he comes up with given my busy and stressy schedule? I don’t think he’d wait too much longer; we’re going to have to send the ring back to be re-sized, and there’s only 30 days to do that. I also don’t know if I can keep my patient silence any longer if this weekend passes and nothing happens. Maybe watching for signs of him asking my parents for permission, combined with knowing that the ring is on the way, will keep me from going too crazy. Either way, I’m really hoping I can just enjoy seeing my family and having a mini-vacation without ruining it with all my anxiety.
GAH! I can’t decide if I’m really excited to see what happens, or sad that the weekend I’ve been looking forward to so much has gotten turned on its head. I don’t want to be angry at him for not planning it perfectly, and I’m trying to squelch my inner spoiled brat who’s wondering “If this really mattered to him he would have planned better!”. I adore him, and he reminds me in little ways every day that he loves me. But this is the second proposal plan that’s not going according to plan because he didn’t order the ring on time! Hopefully that part will just become a cute silly story when all this is in the past.
Perspective, anyone? (And if you actually read all that – thank you!!)