(Closed) Proposal without a ring…?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
46 posts

I think that whatever he has up his sleeve, you’ll be thrilled with the outcome.  I understand the little voice inside that says he should have planned better, but from my experience, some men just don’t think about the little details, much to our annoyance.  I know that you weren’t intentionally snooping, but it does end up opening a whole new can of worms. lol If you had never found that page on his computer, your Labor Day weekend trip would go off as he’s planning it to, and you’d be none the wiser. You have a pretty good idea that a ring is in the very near future, so whether you get it this weekend with the proposal, or not until the 10th or after, just remember that you have a man that loves you and is probably wracking his brain out just as much as you are to make this a perfect proposal! Good luck!!!!

Post # 4
935 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

Ah, “if it really mattered he would have planned better!”. 

Oh, please try not to be hard on him. Even though it’s just in your head. This could just be a thing with your guy. I know my guy, and he’s not a planner AT ALL! If he’s a procrastinator, I’m impressed by the complex plan.  And it would not surprise me that one of the aspects (albiet, the most important one) didn’t turn out to be ideal.

If he IS a planner-type of guy, of course he’ll be upset that it’s not coming together “perfectly”!!! I’d just go easy on him and yourself right now. If he was upset that the ring wasn’t coming in time, the poor guy is probably under a lot of pressure. Guys feel a lot of pressure for the proposal to be perfect.  He thinks it’s more important for it to be perfect, than for it to be soon.

As for perspective…haha! I’m super jealous that your guy ordered the ring, is planning the proposal, and will be asking your parent’s permission on the trip. My guy hasn’t even committed to coming with me on my next scheduled trip to see my dad. How’s that for perspective, LOL! Of course it’s easy for me to say I’d be THRILLED to be in your position. But we’re in different waiting stages. God willing, one day I’ll be where you are now. And I’ll be freaking out. And we’ll both have these silly waiting stories to look back on.

And yes, you’ll be really stressed out and busy after this weekend. And what better way to get you through it than knowing your honey will be surprising you with a thoughtful proposal shortly πŸ™‚

There wasn’t a whole lot of the “element of surprise” left, and now suddenly there is.  In a way, life would be boring if we knew exactly when and where everything was going to happen.  I remember what one of my teachers told me: Anxious and excited are the same physiology, different belief system. Anxious=something bad could happen, Excited=something great could happen.

Enjoy knowing that something great could happen. Hang in there!

Post # 5
471 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I think that in your situation, the proposal would be amazing, and you wouldn’t have to wait long for the ring, so it’d all be pretty fun. On the other hand, I think a lot of girls envision the love of their life down on one knee with ring-in-hand. For your beach weekend, it’d be sweet if he asked you to marry him and maybe got you a cutesy little shell ring or something to signify the beach engagement, then give you the real ring over dinner sometime after things settle down for you. As you said, you don’t have much choice in the matter, so If I were you, I’d be excited at the prospect of a proposal, ring or not… since you know its coming anyway.

I’m in the engaged but not official, unable to tell my family but have the wedding planned and the date set with a naked finger situation, so I wouldn’t always say that a ringless proposal could be perfect, but I think in your case it could. πŸ™‚ And if he has the ring with him… DOUBLE BONUS!

Post # 6
1390 posts
Bumble bee

I know how this sounds but you just have to wait it out and let him do it and it will be perfect. Sigh, breath deeply, and try to be as giddy as you can that your ring is en route and you will very soon be engaged!

I completely understand the anxiety and being torn, trust me. A few days ago I posted about all the romantic moments that’d been missed during our vacation and how I really hoped that when the moment happens, it’s as good as those spontaneous romantic moments had been. I worry about everything so of course I was worried that I had built up those moments in my head and that they’d be better than the real thing and I was worried that SO wasn’t thinking about the perfection of those moments. Luckily I can talk to SO pretty easily and last night while watching “How to Lose a Guy In 10 Days” we some how got around to talking about proposals and I said, “you know what I was thinking about? i mean, i knew you didn’t have a ring or anything but when we stumbled upon that string quartet at the library in boston I was thinking, ‘man this would be a good time propose!'” He shocked me when he answered and said, “Yeah, I know. I totally thought so too. I think about it all the time like, ‘oh this would be a good time to do it!'” I had NO IDEA. I had convinced myself that it was the furthest thing from his mind since he doesn’t obsess nor stalk the bee. But apparently, they DO think about it and try to make it special and I realized that no matter how much I worry, he’s going to do his thing and now that I know he actually thinks about it I’m pretty sure it’ll be awesome. If he can’t do a big fancy production maybe it’ll be really sweet, personal and intimate. There are so many ways to have a wonderful proposal….you just gotta trust he’ll get it right.

Post # 7
5657 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2012

I think you should just let it happen no matter how he does it. I don’t think either way would be any less awesome! Perhaps he could have planned it a bit better, but maybe that just isn’t his forte. He clearly wants to do his best for you, so whatever that is I think it will be great! πŸ™‚

Post # 8
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I just want to throw it out there that he might not have even planned on a Labor Day proposal. Even if he had, and his plans have changed, I’m sure his new idea will be just as good. It looks like you’ll be engaged in no time- congrats! 

Post # 9
401 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I feel like a planned proposal without a ring could still be great. I don’t like the idea of a spontaneous proposal without a ring, I’d just like to know it was thought about and he took the time to do something special.

Either way, one day soon you’ll have a sparkly something on your hand and I think you’ll be happy whichever way it goes.

Post # 11
841 posts
Busy bee

No matter what happens, please pretty please smile and say ‘yes’? πŸ™‚

Post # 13
1093 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: Private home

my husband actually proposed WITHOUT a ring, because he was tired of waiting for the perfect moment and decided to make his own! (His words, not mine).  Without the ring, it was so sweet and off the cuff, it was just amazing.  So what ever he plans I know it will be amazing for you!

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