Post # 1
I think I’ve decided that proposals suck! Here I am twiddling my thumbs while my boyfriend tries to think of something appropriately “romantic”…after I’ve already picked out the ring and am fully aware he has it in his possession. Can you say unromantic??? I’m completely frustrated, and have no idea how to get the snakes in my head to quit telling me that he hasn’t proposed yet because he doesn’t really want to marry me. I just want to be sane and enjoy spending time with my boyfriend again! This lame anticipation and feeling the need to be constantly well-dressed is killing me…and any potential romance :-p
If they don’t want to surprise you with a ring, why can’t they just take you ring-shopping AFTER the dadgum proposal??
We’ve been dating over 3 years, and yeah, I want to get married. But this setup is awful for both parties! And from what I see on the board here, it’s pretty normal. This is not a sustainable norm! Thanks for letting me rant…I’ve been driving my friends crazy!
Post # 3
Take up a hobby! Or go back to university… something to keep you busy!
I dont actually know if my boyfriend has a ring yet (he keeps teasing that he has, and it is somewhere in the house, or maybe its not, or maybe he doesnt even have it yet??) and he has told me that he plans on proposing before my 27th birthday, which is 15 months away!!! We have been dating for over 4 years and im getting over a year warning of a proposal????
At least i know it is not going to be for at least a few months, my parents are currently sailing from San Fransisco to Sydney and he hasnt asked my dad yet!
Good spot for a rant here!!! There is always a sympathetic ear/eyes!!
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2009 - Barr Mansion
Ugh, I thought it was torture too! It’s hard for us modern women to sit around and wait for our guys to plan a proposal when the rest of the relationship was built on doing things together! I totally feel your pain.
Post # 5
((HUGS)) we’re here for the ranting!! so no worries, trust me we’ve all been there will be there and sometimes will be back where you are 😀
Post # 6
Hey, just letting you know, you aren’t alone. I waited…for about 8 or 9 months. It was pure torture! But, really, looking back it wasn’t that bad. After it was official the frustration literally melted away.
While you are waiting, try not to agonize over it. Keep busy, it’ll happen!
Post # 7
- Wedding: September 2010 - Heron Hill Winery
I know exactly how you feel….this is actually why I found wedding bee way back in April. BE PATIENT…I know it is tough, but getting grupmy will only hurt the situation. He wants to have his part in it and wants to do it on his time. He will come around and trust me it will be worth it. Just try and put it out of your mind, pretend you don’t know about the ring. WeddingBee is your friend and will help you get through the waiting process. You can checkout my old posts waiting and getting frustrated and finally getting the ring. Mine was a very tough wait, but now I am happily engaged and waiting to find a venue and set a date.
Post # 8
*hugs to you* I can imagine it’s frustrating.
I’m glad my Fiance just shocked me out of nowhere and picked out a ring all on his own. This kind of thing is exactly why I told him I didn’t want any hints, any ring shopping as a couple etc. etc. I find it much more romantic when the guy decides, picks out a ring and pops the question out of nowhere.
BUT…I found out after he asked, that he had the ring for over 3 months and HE was the one going nuts waiting for the day he picked to propose to arrive. He said it drove him crazy. He wanted to tell me so many times.
So maybe your bf is just as anxious as you are.
Post # 9
I totally understand what you mean….that’s why I’m glad I don’t know anything about the ring or have a timeline.LOL. It would drive me crazy. I did think it was better to have some idea, but I’m glad I don’t now.lol
Post # 10
I was in your shoes just 4 months ago. My Fiance wanted to really surprise me and he did. I finally started thinking we were already engaged and went on with life in this way. That’s when it finally happened. He had the ring for a whole month before proposing. Just try not to think about it or did like I did and begin thinking like you’re engaged.
Post # 11
As someone who did not understand the need for a proposal after we’d already decided to get married, my question is, “Have you told him how you feel?” I can say with certainty a “surprise” proposal is not necessary to be excited about your marriage, or to have a beautiful and romantic wedding. I can’t tell if you are being a little facetious or not, but if you really think you are beyond the point where you would enjoy the moment, tell him! It’s not like he doesn’t know you know he’s planning a proposal. I guess if it’s really important to him, you might have to wait. But my sister and I both ended up where we decided to get married (in my case he got me the fancy jewelry–no ring b/c I didn’t want one), and then our husband’s planned a celebratory weekend a week or two later. For me that was awesome, and my sister still talks about the w/e he has. I don’t know, I think I simply could not act all surprised about a proposal if I already knew he was planning it. And what we did felt more natural to me, and it was still fun and romantic.
Post # 12
fizicsGirl, that setup sounds great to me. I feel like we’ve already made the decision to get married, so why can’t we just get this show on the road? He seems to feel it’s necessary to have a movie-style moment in order to mark our commitment, which isn’t really representative of myself or him.
He’s aware that I’m frustrated, but seems to be listening to the advice of some of his female friends “to make it special”. They mean well, and I appreciate the thought, but I feel that our relationship is already special, and there’s nothing to add to our decision to be committed to one another.
I am going to have to just suck it up and deal with it, because it does seem to be important to him. And we’re almost always on the same page on everything else, so I really don’t have much to complain about :-p
Post # 13
I think you’re forcing it to not be romantic!! Get your mind off of it, and let him plan and ask as he feels comfortable.
I knew my fiance bought me a ring (almost 3 months before he proposed) and I knew he was planning something for the weekend, but I put it out of my mind. It was way more fun and romantic for me not to bother him/ask questions/complain to others…
You know it’s going to happen, so just give him a chance to do it on his own time! I promise it will be SO much better than if you just obsess over it… In the meantime, start researching photographers/reception and ceremony locations, etc. You’ll be ahead of the game.
Post # 14
I did the same thing – I stayed “dressed-up” for a while and the minute I let my guard down, that boy was on one knee… It was my needing-to-be-swept kitchen floor, I was seriously dirty and had been cleaning in the garage that day – but you know what? It was perfect and I wouldn’t change it… Relax and take a deep breath, it will happen
Post # 15
I have never understood the big romantic proposal, either. In my first marriage, he proposed over the phone–which was just fine by me. This time, I was the one doing the proposing, and probably did only a little better than that. (Because we’re a same-sex couple, and gay marriage is still a legal morass, I really wasn’t sure of her answer, even though I knew she wanted to be with me, so I was incredibly nervous.)
As far as I’m concerned, if you two both know you are getting married, you can just start considering yourself engaged, or you can propose to him. A big “surprise” proposal is just making you frustrated, which is so not the idea.
Post # 16
I don’t get it either but it’s important to some guys. (some) guys like to do big romantic proposals. They like to be THAT guy who makes you cry with joy and does stuff you can brag about to your friends. Just chill and let him have his moment. 🙂