(Closed) Proposing at a wedding

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
Member
719 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2019

I think it is sweet, but they would need to ask permission in advance.

I have heard of it happening as big set up involving the bouquet toss. The guy asks the couple (specifically the bride) to be in on it, and when the bride goes to toss the bouquet, she pretends she is about to toss it and instead turns around, walks right over to the girl and gives her the bouquet. Then the guy steps forward, get down on one knee and proposes! How friggin cute is that?

I honestly fantasized about this happening to me at my sister’s wedding, because we are best friends, I was her maid of honour, my family would have been there, not to mention it would have been professionally photographed! I knew it was too soon though, plus my sister wasn’t doing a bouquet toss haha, but after I heard about the idea I couldn’t help but fantasize ๐Ÿ˜›

Basically, there is a right and a wrong way to do it, and you need to be very close to the bride and groom (think close relative or best friend, not college roommate they haven’t seen in seven years).

Post # 32
Member
150 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

View original reply
Lily_of_the_valley :  Ok, I hadn’t seen the post about it being a DW! Esp if you guys paid for it, that is super sketchy.  I thought it was like a normal at home wedding and there was like a brunch the next day at the hotel or something where it was like come if you want, I wouldn’t be mad about that.  Now if someone was riding on the coat tails of my all Destination Wedding that I paid for them to attend just so it could be in a beautiful location I’d be upset.  At least go to the beach and do it in private.

Post # 33
Hostess
2997 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

That’s exactly what I told my friends! There is a beautiful beach 10 steps away, couldn’t you take her on a walk on the beach at sunset in private?? Soo much more personal and romantic in my opinion!

Post # 34
Member
252 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2019 - .

Honestly? Tacky AF.

Post # 35
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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Lily_of_the_valley :  Totally understandable after the clarification.

Post # 36
Member
3440 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

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littlemisshostess :  I wouldn’t do it at all anytime during the celebration and do feel its incredibly tacky, not hard to pick any of the other 364 days out of the year. Its just that if it happened I wouldn’t make a fuss over it or let it bother me.

Post # 37
Member
5082 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

If the bride and groom are aware of it and have given the ok, then I think it’s fine. It wouldn’t be my choice, but I can see how it might work out in certain situations. 

Post # 38
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

Personally, if my husband had proposed at someone else’s wedding, I’d be so mad!

Not really because I’d care about the bride and groom’s thoughts to be honest, but exactly what a PP wrote — he used someone else’s money and party planning to “set the stage”?  Is our own engagement not a big enough deal to warrant its own special day and occasion?  

Lol.  So apparently I’m against it because I guess I think the bride and groom AND the girl getting proposed to should each have their own special days for those occasions ๐Ÿ™‚ 

Post # 39
Member
47 posts
Newbee

 I would appreciate being asked first by the proposer, but depending on who it was most likely I wouldn’t care at all. Especially if it was someone I was close to.  Also, I would like to be in on the surprise proposal. Kinda like where the bride hands the girl the flowers at the bouquet toss.  I love that video. ๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜

Post # 40
Member
216 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

I would not be very happy with it since the focus should be on our wedding day not the prososal

Post # 41
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

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heavenlyflower :  I think that is a personal thing… I mean I wouldn’t break down in tears and run out of the room hysterical or something like that but I definitely wouldn’t love it and would probably have a few word to say to my closest in private after the event and would definitely remember it. If I was a guest (and it was obvious that B&G were not involved in it) I would probably talk about it on the ride home and be like wow! that takes some serious balls!

During I would probably have a (fake) smile plastered across my face and be gracious and excited for them but that is just because that is my normal way to general react – I try not to give too much attention to people who do things like that cause usually they just want to be the center of attention so taking that away would be the best way to “beat” them.

Post # 42
Member
2108 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

It depends. If it was a very very close friend of mine and her boyfriend came to me in advance and ran it by me, I would be very happy! If someone I didn’t know well ran it by me, I would ask him not to and not lose a second of thought over it. If someone just randomly popped the question at our wedding, we would have both been upset but it certainly wouldn’t have ruined our day- maybe just our relationship with those people.

Post # 43
Member
3868 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

As long as it wasn’t done anytime between the start of my ceremony and the end of my reception, I don’t care. I would be really put off if it was done during any part of the actual wedding. 

Post # 44
Member
2176 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

also for the record I have actually seen this done right before too so it’s not automatically a no for me — a friend BF set up with a couple to play “their song” as like the second to last song of the night and when she turned around to find him and dance he was on one knee and it was awesome – everyone went nuts! and the bride (and the couple) were all crying (happy tears) and to this day the bride still talks about how that was the best part of her wedding! she even was glowing at the couples wedding and telling everyone that it was “because of her wedding” haha

Post # 45
Member
667 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Hell no! As a bride, I’d be pretty offended. As his fiancee, I’d probably tell him to get up, and ask that he not do that here. I’d honestly be mortified, and I know I would struggle to forgive that kind of thoughtlessness right away. There are hundreds of thousands of ways to ask your love to marry you that don’t involve hijacking someone else’s day and stepping on toes. Proposing at a wedding or wedding-related event is inconsiderate, lazy and impersonal, and I would just be so disappointed. 

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