(Closed) Proposing at someone's wedding?

posted 4 years ago in Proposals
Post # 32
2178 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I am not generally the biggest fan of this idea but I did see it done once and it really worked/made sense

the guy had cleared it/planned it with the Bride and Groom for it to happen at the afterparty of their wedding (smaller second wedding w dinner followed by a big party w a friends band playing that “everyone” was invited to) about 2-3 songs before the end of the night they played this coupes favorite song, they threw the spotlight on him and he proposed!

the rest of the night ended and it was really fun and exciting for everyone to be part of it

the original bride always told me that she felt so honored and special and that it made her feel even closer to that couple and their wedding was almost an extension of her wedding so it was like she had a special second “anniversary” thing every year

Post # 33
9563 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

i personally think its fine if it’s something like  — at the reception, everyone is busy dancing, and the guy pulls his gf away to go for a stroll in a nearby garden… and proposes there.  They return, and make no comment about what just happened, and wait until brunch the next morning to announce it (unless brunch is a big fancy affair hosted by the B&G, in the which case wait until it’s not on the B&G’s dime).

Post # 34
2251 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I think its extremely rude to propose at someone’s wedding!  These people spent a pretty penny on the wedding, organized and coordinated the event, again PAID many thousands to see THEIR vision of the nuptials,  and to see some  a- hole proposing to a girlfriend at their event is despicable!  Go pay for your own party, invite a 100 guests and propose, if you’re so inclined,  but don’t you dare do it at someone’s wedding! 

Post # 35
2449 posts
Buzzing bee

Even with it being a family member it would be highly inappropriate to me. It takes the moment away from the bride and groom, and they have paid alot of money for this event. I don’t think it’s fair for another person to try to make it their moment without coming up with anything creative and then using what the bride and groom have worked so hard for as their setting. 

Side note: I would not want to be engaged at another person’s wedding. I would feel terrible. 

Post # 36
528 posts
Busy bee

I’m not a fan of public proposals to begin with (for me that was a very intimate and emotional moment that I didn’t want to share with a whole bunch of other people), but I find this to be the worst possible version of the public proposal.  Even if you do ask the bride & groom, they could feel bad about saying no and agree despite feeling uncomfortable/unhappy about it.  Personally I would have been mortified if Darling Husband had proposed to me at someone else’s wedding.

Post # 37
4698 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Never. Ever. Everrrrr.

Post # 38
5862 posts
Bee Keeper

There are endless ways to propose. Over-the-top elaborate. Sweet & understated. On bended knee. Sky-diving from a plane. The movie-classic restaurant moment. Jumbotrons. A walk in the woods. A walk in the snow. An anniversary. On top of the Empire State Building. On a gondola in Venice. At home in your pj’s. At the stroke of midnight New Year’s Eve. In front of the TV eating pizza. With a back-up choir behind you. With the moon behind you. Endless, endless, endless ideas- surely you can leave one freaking thing (someone else’s wedding!) off limits!



Post # 39
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

Absolutely not okay!

Post # 40
3185 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

acw2016:  My younger brother will be proposing at my wedding! I’m so excited!! Poor girl has to wait a bit longer. But they are younger so waiting is good. But I’m so stoked. I wasn’t going to do the toss but I am now 🙂

Post # 41
453 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Personally, this would tick me off!  I think it takes away from the bride and groom who are celebrating their marriage.    If someone asked me if they could propose at my wedding, I would be ticked that they were even asking.  Of course, I would be more ticked if they did so without asking.

Post # 42
82 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Old Lake County Courthouse

I’ve seen that video. If the couple was okay with it, then cool. Me personally, I would say no. if I was approached I don’t want anybody taking from our day. Plus I think it’s rude for people to freeload with their own agenda at a venue the bride and groom has paid for, for their celebration. If I was feeling like being nice, I seriously would ask for a fee to compensate for the time slot I’m allowing them to have for their proposal. Receptions aren’t cheap! 

Post # 44
516 posts
Busy bee

Eeek! I normally just troll and don’t feel compelled to log in and respond, but I HATE proposals at others’ weddings.

In the example OP used, it seems the bride was in on it, which takes away from the surprise/stealing thunder issue. Any bride who has taken the time and initiative to plan her wedding should also have the backbone to say “GTFO” to a requested proposal at her wedding if she’s not okay with the idea. Nonetheless, on the part of the hopeful proposer, it’s lazy and tacky and obnoxious.

Why on earth would a man want to make this moment a side-show at an event that has another focus? How does that honor the intended fiancee, her interests, or their relationship? It doesn’t.

All men have to do to make the moment special is buy a ring, say something heartfelt and unique to the relationship, and get on his knee. Take 20 minutes of effort and make it happen on your own time, not someone else’s.

I’m sure there are certain families that have exceptional circumstances that might make a wedding proposal appropriate or even endearing, and I’d submit to those. But I ain’t heard of one yet.

Post # 45
2466 posts
Buzzing bee

THE BRIDE REQUESTED THAT THE PROPOSAL BE DONE AT HER WEDDING, and the whole wedding party was in on it.

So for all of you etiquette mavens, should she have been DENIED HER REQUEST on her very own special, special day?


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