Post # 1
I’m from the US, met my Portugese girlfriend 8 months ago, we have travelled together, she has lived with me for 3 months, I have been to portugal once, going again this this time to meet her family and propose to her, we have spoken about marriage and we are on the same page, she is the most wonderful person I have ever met.
My main delemma is asking her father for his blessing…I’m not going to be alone with him as she will always be with us (we are going to have lunch with him) and even though I have texted back and forth with him she says his english isn’t the best. I was thinking about texting him and asking if he could give us a few minutes alone the day we go for lunch with her, does that seem like a good idea? My other option is to message him asking for his blessing but I feel that’s sort of impersonal (although easier for him to understand/translate).
Post # 2
I would text and ask to have a few moments alone on the day you have lunch with her. I would also, if possible, learn how to ask for his blessing in Portuguese.
Post # 3
If I were you I’d have somebody translate the question and then practice asking him in Portuguese. I think he might appreciate that you put in the effort.
Post # 4
BMoreBecc : Will most likely do this, I’m sure he will understand if I don’t do it perfectly and feel it’s respectful.
Post # 5
howitzer1944 : it is respectful and also I think he’ll appreciate the effort, like PP said. So I’m sure he won’t be critiquing your Portuguese lol. Best of luck!
Post # 6
howitzer1944 : Makes me think of Love Actually when Colin Firth proposed 🙂
Post # 7
You said you discussed marriage and are on the same page. Just to clarify, does she want you to ask her father?
If yes, then great. The asking in portugese idea sounds good.
If you haven’t discussed that, then I’d double check that she’s happy with you asking her dad.
I think I’d vomit in my mouth if my partner asked my dad for permission/his blessing to propose.
Post # 8
onlythemarginleft : +1. My husband knew he’d be a dead man if he asked anyone but me if we could get married.
Post # 9
onlythemarginleft : I was going to say the same thing. Find out if it’s important to her. I told my Fiance definitely do not do that!!!! I know some people like it but I think it’s a super outdated tradition.
Post # 10
Perhaps it’s important to OP to ask for his FIL’s blessing. Autonomy goes both ways.
I agree with PP, send a text, and ask in Portuguese!
Post # 11
Is green with Pps, ask in Portuguese. I personally see it as a sweet tradition rather than an outdated one. All my brothers in law did and and Dh did as well. It was funny that Dh was the only one he didn’t give a hard time too. It helps that we play video games with dad.