(Closed) Proposing to my bridesmaids

posted 11 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
83 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

my wedding is far far away, but the ideas are-a-flowin! here’s top of my list though:

i love tea, and i love doing the high tea luncheons; we have several places to do that here in so cal. i’m sending out formal invitations via mail to my ladies to meet me at my favorite tea joint (if you’re in so cal, it’s Chado in Pasadena). I’m making special hats (similar to that of birdcage veils) for each girl, and plan to give it to her upon arrival (confirming their acceptance). Thus..a themed bridal party celebration over tea!

I don’t think i’m going to do a veil for my own wedding…dress doesn’t go well with one. so this is my opportunity! oh, and the girls’ hats will all be different colors, mine will be white, of course.

Post # 4
36 posts
  • Wedding: September 2007 - Westbury Manor

Well I make mini scrapbooks in my shop.  One of my brides bought a set of books from me and on the last page I added, "Will you be my bridesmaid?" 


I got engaged in Paris.  I bought pocket mirrors in Paris and slipped a note in "Will you be my BM?" and gave it to them over dinner individually.  They thought it was a souvenir, but it was even more than that.. One of my BM’s even cried at the table!

Best of luck!

Post # 5
211 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - in the woods

I have written a little saying (it should be in verse form, not paragraph) for my bridesmaids with the first part personalized for each one. I don’t know if I’ll just write it in a card or put it in a mini scrapbook filled with pictures of us through the years (good idea, violet!)…the possibilities are endless!  

(Name), I’m remembering the times we’ve spent together…; Planning surprises, exploring the Carolinas and Florida; Attending Broadway shows and buying Walmart out of Sharpies; Eating too much ice cream, waffles, and oreos; Spending time at your grandfather’s house; Holding each other accountable over the phone; I remember our time in the park and airport:; the listening ears, the hugs, and the solid advice; Living in separate states was never a distraction for us; Knowing you I have seen that love can span any distance.

I am forever grateful for your friendship; Forever blessed by how you’ve invested in my life; and on my most special day; I can’t imagine not having you by my side.

Will you be my bridesmaid?

Post # 6
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

I got some of those "will you be my…"  and wrote what they meant to me in them and asked them.  not expensive, simple, and still very thoughtful and appreciated!

Post # 7
30 posts
  • Wedding: June 2008

Here’s what I did. Although I blatently stole it from Indiebride.com I made these cards with each bm’s initial on the front and a matching envelope. I’ll only show one, it came out the best.


And then inside I wrote a little note to them asking them to be my bridesmaid and then said "please review the terms and conditions oulined in the enclosed contract" It sounds really weird and official but I was hoping would be funny. One of my bm’s said she first read it and was like wtf this has to be a joke?! and then realized it was so she thought it was funny.  But along with that I had printed the "contract" out on a separate paper and folded it up inside. Below is what they came up with at Indiebride.com, but I took some of it out and changed some of the wording so it sounded a little more like me. I thought these were really cute:

Bridesmaid Contract

My promises to you:

1) I will not assume that you are throwing a bridal shower. As a bridesmaid, your ONLY true obligation is to stand up with us!

2) I will not expect you to attend every shower or event that occurs, and if you are able to come, I will enjoy your presence as the best gift you could give me.

3) I will not request fake nails or manicures. I will not request identical hair-dos. I will not request special, matching make-up. You’re grown women who know what kind of nails, hair and make-up, if any, make you look and feel best. I absolutely will not dictate or prohibit changes to your appearance (such as hair color, tans or lack thereof, etc.)!

4) I apologize in advance for matching dresses, but I promise to get everyone’s input so everyone can feel comfortable and attractive – and I promise it won’t look like the rag on the front of this card! I will not stuff everyone into hot pink sausage casings. I will not make busty women wear spaghetti straps. Note to IBs – I’ll be mailing these in cards with pictures of an ugly dress on the front of each one.

5) My bachelorette party will not involve you making anything shaped like genitalia or anything involving lifesavers. I will not make you wear tank tops emblazoned with “Bridesmaid” in pink across the chest.

6) I will not delegate a million weird jobs to you, and I will be grateful for everything you do. I will recognize that every moment you spend on anything wedding-related is a gift in and of itself – one that deserves profuse written thanks.

7) I will make every attempt to keep things inexpensive for everyone, and to treat your time and energy with all the respect it deserves.

Your promises to me:

1) If I become one of those scary brides who can’t talk about anything other than the wedding, you will hit me in the head with a brick.

2) If I start obsessing over stupid things that no one else will notice, like whether the flowers will match the napkins and the bridemaids’ underpants, you will hit me in the head with a brick.

3) If I otherwise fail to keep my sense of proportion and/or my sense of humor about all things wedding-related, you will hit me in the head with a brick.

4) If you are forced to hit me in the head with a brick for any of the aforementioned reasons, I will not get upset or defensive in return!

5) You will attend the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner, and have at least a vague idea of the wedding day timeline (which will be provided to you in advance).

6) You will be available on the day of the wedding to help me set up the site, help me get dressed, pose for pictures, tell me if my make-up is fading, corral people for a ritualistic toss of some kind and other things I can’t forsee yet. Just generally be available to help with stuff, if needed. I’m sorry I can’t be more specific at this point, but I will keep you posted about what we’re doing and what we’ll need help with.

7) Most importantly, you will let me know right away if you become uncomfortable with anything, at any time, regarding any aspect of this whole deal. If you feel I am asking for too much, if you feel neglected by not being asked to do enough, if expenses seem to be becoming prohibitive – anything at all. The absolute last thing I want is for you to feel put upon or resentful. All I truly want is your friendship and support. 

Post # 8
798 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@crackhead – Love it!!!

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