(Closed) Pros and cons of having the first grandchild?

posted 8 years ago in Babies
  • poll: Would you prefer to have the first grandchild?
    Yes : (45 votes)
    53 %
    No : (16 votes)
    19 %
    Doesn't matter : (24 votes)
    28 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    i was just thinking about this b/c we’re probably going to have the first grandchild in my family, 2nd for my husbands. i’m the baby in the family so i’m used to having my older siblings go through everything before me and then i follow and learn from them. that won’t be able to happen now! i’m really not worried about my husband’s parents not giving us or our child a lot of attention. they were so excited for us to get married, and i’m sure they’ll have that same excitment, if not more, for a grandchild.

    Post # 4
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    I always took for granted that i would NOT have the first grandchild because my brother is 8 years older than me. Who would’ve guessed that we’d get married within 6 months of each other and that his Fiance would only be 20?! I could definitely see them waiting longer than us to have kids… so now its really a crap-shoot haha. 

    The biggest benefit I see of not having the first grandkid is that your sibling will already have parenting experience before you get started. If we had kids prior to when my brother did I probably wouldn’t want him to babysit because he’s not really a “kid” person and I wouldn’t think he’d want to or know what to do. But if he’s a dad first he’ll kind of become a kid person and he’ll have some experience, so it will be another resource for babysitters. 

    Honestly (and maybe this isn’t true of your family but I think its true of most), I really don’t think it matters what order the grandkids are in. I know my parents will make as big a deal over the 2nd as the 1st. I’m one of the later grandkids on both sides of my family and I didn’t feel like my grandparents loved us even a little less than the older ones (and there were a LOT on both sides). 

    The ONLY thing I’m concerned about us me and my brother’s Fiance getting pregnant at the same time. We really got shocked when he proposed to a (then 19 year old) girl he’d been dating for 6 months when my Fiance was already ring shopping, so I do feel that our thunder got stolen a bit with wedding planning because all discussions revolve around BOTH our weddings… I would really hate if the same thing happened with pregnancy. 

    Post # 5
    Member
    1897 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: December 2010

    I know my Mother-In-Law will be…over the moon….when we have the first baby.  Which is nice, but I am assuming it’ll become overwhelming.  Too much attention, too mnay visits, too many toys….TOO MUCH!   I am the type who loves privacy, but I have a feeling that each weekend will be booked with visits to see “how much the baby has grown….since Sunday”.

    I wish FI’s little sister would pop ’em out first!  Sure would take some pressure off me!

    Post # 6
    Member
    6572 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: February 2010

    @corgitales. i was actually thinking it would be nice if my sil got pregnant at the same time as me! i hate being center of attention, and that would take some of it away from me. plus i’d have someone close to go through it with.

    Post # 7
    Member
    11325 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2011

    @artbee- If i liked her/was close to her I would probably feel the same way. but i don’t. i find her pretty immature/annoying. now if one of my friends wanted to get pregnant at the same time as me, THAT would be ideal!

    Post # 8
    Member
    14186 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2009

    I’m grateful my SIL already had two kids and we get to “follow” in a few years. It has given me insight into how DH’s family is with the grandkids. Plus i can ask my SIL all kinds of questions. It’s a non-issue in my family, though.

    Post # 9
    Member
    326 posts
    Helper bee

    i’ll be the 1st on my side and not the first on his so i’m pretty happy with that. i don’t think it matters alot, being the 1st on both sides might be at bit much though as you’re the one that sets the precident for everything and the attention might be a little overwhelming

    Post # 10
    Member
    636 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2009

    Our situation is interesting because our future baby will most likely be my parents’ first grandchild and my husband’s parents’ last grandchild.  I am the oldest in my family and he is the youngest (by a lot!)  I am happy that our child will probably be my parents’ first because of all of the obvious reasons, the excitement, etc. but I am secretly happy that our child will be his parents’ last because his fam can be a bit overbearing and maybe since they have 6 other grandchildren they’ll be mellowed out!

    Post # 11
    Member
    3871 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it depends on how far the grandkids are apart in age.  My sister’s kids are 10 and 16, so it’s been a while since my parents have seen a little baby.  My brother and girlfriend are expecting so I think they will get the love from my parents just like my sister’s nephew.

    Now since we are planning on having kids in about a year, my brother might have taken that “first grandkid” feeling.

     

    Post # 12
    Member
    213 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2011

    I will probably be the only one having any since my brothers Fiance can’t have anymore kids (she has a 14 year old daughter)

    Post # 13
    Member
    5263 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: June 2012

    We will not be the first, barring an unfortunate event, since Future Brother-In-Law & Future Sister-In-Law are a few years older than us and have it made it known that they are on a 5 year plan (about 1 year in) whereas we plan to wait about 10 more years. 

    For me, there are ups and downs to having the second kid… I feel like there will be less pressure in regards to things that R’s mom would have gotten upset with us about (we don’t want to baptize our kids) since she will already have other grandkids. But at the same time, they get the first names! Which is sad, since I have two picked out. 

    Post # 14
    Member
    9056 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2010

    We’re getting married in July and FI’s sister is getting married in February.  I would think it’s up in the air as to who will have the first grandchild.  I’d rather it was them.  We live a distance from FI’s parents whereas his sister lives near by.  I think the experience would be more fun for them if their own daughter had their first grandchild.  I’ll probably be the first on my side.

    Post # 15
    Member
    491 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Fiance is an only child, so we’ll have the ONLY grandkids for his parents.  As for my side, my younger sister is still in college, but her and her boyfriend will probably get married after they graduate (have been together since highschool, like me and FI!) and they want to have kids right away, whereas we want to wait a few years….so it could be a tossup as to which one of us has em first! (I hope I do though!)

    Post # 16
    Member
    761 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: January 2011

    I will hopefully have the first grandkid for my parents because I am 24 and my brothers are 11 and 9!! I think that my Fiance sister will beat us on that side though because she is engaged as well but they already own a home and are much more settled them my Fiance and I.

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