(Closed) PROS and CONS of not knowing the sex of the baby?

posted 6 years ago in Pregnancy
Post # 3
Member
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

I will want to know as soon as possible. Easier to buy things that way, I think. I personally think unisex things are ugly, so I wouldnt know what to buy. XD

Post # 4
Member
3969 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@allyfally:  Aww I love the greens and yellows! I hate the whole genderized color scheming of baby things.

Post # 5
Member
2598 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012 - Southern California

I was the first born & my parents didn’t know my gender.  Afterwards they regretted it because everything I had was yellow &/or neutral.  My mom put bows in my hair like everyday because people thought I was a boy :[ ..I had a ton of hair from day 1!  Three years later my brother was conceived & they found out what he was because they wanted to know whether or not they should keep some of the stuff they had for me or not.  Five years after that, my sister was conceived & she was an oops haha.  They promptly found out what she was so they could figure things out easier, but to also make it easier to explain to my brother & I that we were going to have a sister, not an ‘it’ haha.

I will find out the sex of my baby because I’m not one for surprises & really like to plan/know ;].

Whatever works best for you & your family though, of course!  We’ll all have different opinions & stories to throw at you haha.

Post # 6
Member
9955 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Lol, I remember back in the day when I was pregnant the first time (DD is 28 this year).  That I didn’t want to know… wanted some sort of surprise at the end of it all.  In the end it was a HUGE surprise, because all thru my pregnancy I was convinced we were having a boy.  In the Delivery Room, when the Dr said it was a Girl, we were speachless… he actually spoke up and said “hey ya gotta love Girls, I have 5 at home”… truth was we were speachless because we didn’t have a clue what to call her… we had names all picked out for boys, and almost none for girls.  And those we did have, well she didn’t look like any of them (Penny, Catherine, Kate).  Lol, in the end she was the nameless baby for almost a week, while we mused over possibilities.

As for clothes, I was a pretty progressive gal back then… When it came to Sleepers, I went shopping for every which colour (except for pink).  Surprisingly there was quite a bit of choice around… White, Blue, Green, Yellow, Red and even Oranges and Purples.  After she came along, we added some Pink items, and some frilly / dressy stuff to the mix.  She was bald for a long time, so sadly no matter what we put her in, even if we put a baby bow on her head, folks still took her for a boy (to be honest I think that strangers just default to the Masculine Gender, because they can’t think of anything else to say).

“What a cute baby… How old is he?”

Would I recommend not knowing ahead of time… ya it makes the event all that more exciting in some ways (and as I said some thing of a surprise after hours and hours of labour).  BUT if you go that route, learn from my mistake, and be sure you have a long list of “agreed upon” baby names for both Boys and Girls on hand to choose from.

Post # 7
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

I’ve done both.

With DS I found out and while it was nice being sure of our name choice, and not having to think of a girl name, I really hated getting a bunch of blue clothes as opposed to things that we actually needed. I would say that half the clothes we got DS never even wore… either because the size didn’t match the season for when he’d fit into them, or simply because who needs a nice 3 piece outfit for a newborn?..

This go round with Dirty Delete we didn’t find out and I actaully liked it so much better! I loved the anticipation of “getting to meet” her having no idea if she was going to be my daughter or son. I also loved that noone else knew…. it was like we had her all to ourselves, even though we didn’t know either. I also liked that I didn’t have to make any returns from our baby shower and the clothes we did get were essentials for the newborn stage, like onsies.

Next time I think we’ll find out though just b/c Darling Husband has only done the team green thing and we’d both like a boy (including DS) so it’d be nice to know before the “arrival” moment… I guess. idk… I liked telling people we didn’t know the gender and them getting a look on their face like I had just kicked their puppy. Sheesh you’d be surprised the expectancy of pure strangers. lol

Post # 8
Member
955 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

Question: how could knowing the gender affect bonding?

Post # 9
Member
5655 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2011

@bigcitybee:  I know for us it was hard to think of a nickname so she stayed “baby” until she arrived. I guess it could be hard b/c part of bonding is being able to communicate with an actually name, instead of “hey you dude”. I just called Dirty Delete baby the whole time to try and avoid “it”. I still felt connected to her but it was different than when I had DS and immediately talked to him with his name when he’d kick & such. idk guess it could effect some people.

Post # 11
Member
8487 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2014

@love108:  lol, I dont like gender roles, but Idk, I just dont like the look of unisex things. Maybe its because I’m such a girly girl, cause I also dont like most boy things either. But I squeal and get giddy over pink and purple baby things. Haha.

Post # 12
Member
1482 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I think knowing that we are having a boy has helped my husband “bond” with the baby already. He would have been excited if we were having a girl, too, but now that we know it’s a boy, it’s all plans for the future for when they’ll go to baseball games together and play basketball. It’s helped him “connect” to the baby, which I think is hard for guys since they’re not the ones going through all of the “joy” of preganancy.

I think a lot of the “gender neutral” stuff out there isn’t so “gender neutral” anyway. To me, it all still looks really girly if it has duckies or frogs all over it.

I also feel like, your child is going to surprise you every day of your life with the things they do and with who they turn out to be. To me, that’s a greater surprise to look forward to, and I didn’t mind having “Is it a boy or a girl?” spoiled for me 5 months before I would have found out anyway. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 13
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I have not had my baby yet, but I LOVE being team green ๐Ÿ™‚ I have no problems bonding with my baby at all…I talk to baby and just call him/her “baby” “hi baby, mommy loves you”…It didn’t matter to us the gender so that’s why we didn’t find out, as long as baby is healthy is all that matters to me. We did not have our shower yet (its in 2 weeks), but the few things that have been bought are SO practical. Bottles, soaps, wipes, lotions, hangers…and a few other things I didn’t peak at yet ๐Ÿ˜‰ As far as what we bought, we got our travel system in red, our furniture is in black, our sheets will be red, grey or aqua. The clothes we have are yellow, white, green, brown, grey…We will be going shopping for gender specific clothes a few weeks after the baby is born anyway, so that’s no big deal to us. This way, we have all the essentials for baby and not just a bunch of “cute” things. Then, if baby #2 is the opposite gender, we have clothes to work for the first two weeks, and gear/blankets/sheets that we can re-use. Yay team green! ๐Ÿ˜€

Post # 14
Member
2299 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I would love to be Team Green someday:) I think it would make the birth even more exciting and I love surprises:) The reason why I didn’t with my first is b/c I’m a huge planner and need to plan out the color scheme, what clothes to buy, and a name to pick out! I think not knowing would drive me crazy right now. I think in the future when I have boy and girl things I’ll keep it a surprise:)

Post # 15
Member
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I could never be Team Green, much to my mother’s disappointment! She thinks not knowing is more fun. Me, I like to plan. I wanted a name picked out, a nursery theme, I wanted to shop and have absolutely everything in place for her arrival. I don’t think it’s made us bond any more than not knowing though really. I have bonded more with the kicks, the little nudges, the excitement of just being a mom again. It’s exciting either way! I’m just way too type A to not know.

Post # 16
Member
4464 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 2012

I’m not pregnant but at least for my 1st child I know I definitely want to know. I don’t think we’re going to tell anyone, but for me, I feel like it is a bonding while I’m still pregnant. Instead of carrying around an “it” I’ll know who he/she is, sort of, so to speak. 

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