Post # 1
- Wedding: September 2011 - Boy #1 12/2015, boy #2 02/2018
Hi bees, I posted a similar post about two years ago when I was 26!! I am 28 now and still waiting to TTC. Hopefully next year when I am 29. That means my first baby will be born when I am 30. I think it’s a good age, but if we encounter any fertility issues then it will be a problem as we plan to have at least 2 kids, and I want to be done by age 35. Part of me wishes I would have been done by 30, but it is impossible now plus I don’t want to be an old mom like be in my 50s when my kid is in high school. Physically, I hear stories that having babies later is just not the same as when you are younger and can heal faster. Also it is hard to have small babies when starting your career since they are demanding bundles of love.
If you don’t mind sharing the pros and cons of waiting until the early 30’s to start having babies. Any regrets? Do you wish you had waited longer or started earlier? What has been your experience?
Post # 3
I dont have any experience but I’ll be 29 when we get married and I think we’re going to start trying around my 30th birthday so I’m actually right there with you. I’m sooo scared we’re going to have fertiity issues and I’m somehow going to be too old. I’m curious to see what people say and I wanted to let you know you’re not alone!
Post # 4
I am planning for children around 30..I am 25 now…
I wanted to comment so I could come back to read.
Post # 5
Pros: you’re still very healthy, your fertility is still great, you’re most likely more established than in your twenties in your career, you’ve had time to enjoy being childless and to spend your money in you, you’ll still be very young when your children move out of your house.
Cons: I don’t see any.
Post # 6
You’ll be fine – plenty of women wait until their 30’s!!!
Post # 7
In the same position… 30 in a few months and will definitely start TTC some time between now and next spring.
Post # 8
I wish I could have waited until I was 30, I had my son at 22 and I’m pregnant now at 26. At 26 I’m fine but I would rather have waited to have my first now or at 30 then the second.
The cons would be the risks involved, but around here they don’t even bat an eye unless your over 35-40.So I don’t really see any risks.
The pros: Your more mature, you’re probably more settled in life, I think your (by your I mean me lol) are just generally more comfortable and ready for a baby.
Post # 9
- None (until you’re over 35)
- More time to enjoy alone time with your husband
- More time to grow at your career
- More time to do whatever you want without having to care for a child
I can’t think of any cons. My mom had me at 31 and twins at 34. I’m 29 and I have just as much energy as I did when I was 20 (actually more). It’s all about how you eat and take care of yourself. 30 is not old. I think around 30 is a perfect age. I think 27-35 is the best range.
Post # 10
I’m in a similar boat.
My mom waited til she was late 30s – had me at 36, my sister at 40 and had no issues… but that’s somewhat dumb luck I think.
I’m 28, going to get married in a few months, and not ready to have a baby. I will definitely wait until I’m 30 to TTC. For my sanity, I’ll chance it. I doubt I’d rebound any faster physically if I was 28 vs. 30. 35 and up you can run into problems, but a few years when you’re under 30 I don’t think makes that much of a difference. If you’re in good shape it helps dictate how your body will rebound after pregnancy vs. age alone.
It would always be my preference to have a child when you’re older (i.e. late 20s to 35ish) – you know yourself better, your career is more established, you have done more living in general, but yeah.. it can be tricky. I don’t think there’s any right answer here, or any perfect time to have a baby. 35 and older worries me a bit, though.. and my SO is already over 40 so I don’t want him to be a REALLY old dad.
Post # 11
In the same situation. I’m 29, and we plan to NTNP next year and I’ll be 30. We also want 2 kids. We waited until we got more established in our careers, got (getting) married, and we’ve had pretty much all of our 20s to ourselves to do what we want.
Honestly, I always felt 30 was a good age to start having kids and I actually always kind of envisioned myself being 30 and preggo. For me, I just needed that time after college to adjust into my career, phase out of living like a broke college student, and get (mostly) comfortable financially before having kids.
Post # 12
some people don’t have a choice. i just turned 32 last week. i’m getting married in october.
we are going to start right away.
plenty of women have children well into their 30’s. so medically it is fine.
Post # 13
You will be fine, I had my son at age of 37 almost 38 (like shy of 2 weeks before my birthday). He is great and will be 2 in Sept
Post # 14
It’s good to know so many are in the same boat, too! *sigh of relief* I’m 29 and Darling Husband and I will TTC next year.
Post # 15
Not to be a downer, but 35 is not the magical age where it’s all downhill for fertility only after that. Your chances of having a healthy pregnancy decrease gradually, not all at once. Medically, actually, early to mid twenties is ideal. After that, you have:
-Increased complications with fertility
-Higher risk for preexisting conditions that affect conception and pregnancy
-Higher risk for birth defects
-Slightly higher risk for miscarriage
-Higher risk of developing gestational diabetes
-Higher risk of developing pregnancy-induced hypertension and preeclampsia
Sure, everyone posting here has anecdotes of successful pregnancies in older mothers, but that’s not statistical, that’s anecdotal. If we wanted to get anecdotal, I’d tell you that both the “30-or-later” pregnancies in my immediate/close family resulted in children with Down’s Syndrome and Autism. The mothers were only 30 and 32. That just scares the crap out of me, so I’m not going to risk it.
That said, it’s a personal choice where only you can weight the risks and benefits for yourself. I didn’t mean to be a downer, just sharing my personal perspective. Good luck to all of you TTC!
Post # 16
I’ll be 32 and he will be 31 when I have our first, we want two that are close in age, so I’m hoping I’m done by 35-36.
The pros of waiting:
1. We dated and had a great time building our relationship and learning to communicate. By the time the babe is born, we would have been together 7 years and have a solid support system of family and mutual friends.
2. We are very financially stable, we own a home, car, have a savings plan for the children’s education, have insurance, life insurance, etc. For childcare, we comfortably have many high quality options (including one on one nanny care, day care and being a SAHM).
3. We traveled, a lot, to exotic places. This didn’t just fill our need to sow our wild oats, but it opened our eyes to a variety of social issues that books and debate just can’t.
4. We are at a point in our lives where we are ready to settle down (i.e. we don’t sweat not drinking, being home early-ish, having nights in, etc)
The cons of waiting:
1. My body probably won’t heal as quickly, nor will it bounce back as fast.
2. The chances of having a special needs baby increases.
3. I may not have as much energy as I did when I was 25 (but I think I have a better handle on how I manage stress and organize/prioritize my life and home, so I think it is a wash).
When to have kids is a very personal decision. I can only give you the reasons we have for choosing to have kids when we did. To me, I always felt the most important thing to wait for to have kids was to be in a healthy, monogomous, committed relationship. The rest of it is just rationale and fluff.
Best of luck with your decision.