(Closed) Pros & Cons for having a very young flower girl/ring bearer

posted 6 years ago in Ceremony
Post # 2
Member
943 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I had my nephews be both the flower boy (lol) and ring bearer. They are two and three. we talked to them about what to do, and the older boy put the petals down so sweetly and the the younger held the “here comes the bride” sign. They did great and waved and blew a kiss at the end of the isle. My flower boy continued throwing his petals throughout the reception. It was the SWEETEST thing ever and I can’t wait to show the video to him later! They sat with my parents during the ceremony and were quite because they had their handheld video games if needed!! Haha I think they are okay as long as you talk to them, they get so excited… And having the older boys help your flower girl is perfect!! good luck 🙂 

Post # 3
Member
8983 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

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katelyndawn89:  2 might be cutting it close, but will probably be fine. Maybe plan for her to do it, but be prepared that day-of she might not be in the mood. I think most 4 & 5 years olds would be ready to just walk down an aisle smiling. How old are they now? Can you tell if they’re super shy, or overly-rambunctious yet? Depending on when the wedding is, you might want to wait a while and see how their temperaments are closer to the wedding date before asking (for all 3 kids).

Post # 4
Member
202 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

My Flower girl and boy were 3and 4 respectively.  During the rehearsal I was a bit nervous cuz kids like to run around  and they can be easily distracted and fidgety. However, they did great, holding the signs and everything.  we had my Brother-In-Law on standby on in the front row in case the ring bearer started to get antsy , but it was all good. It also helped to talk to them the night before in a way that they will understand abou the seriousness of the occasion. I have been to weddings where the kids were standing one moment then laying down the next or trying to talk, but it didn’t take away from the wedding. 30 minutes can be a lot of time to expect kids to be on their best behavior.

Post # 5
Member
784 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2016

View original reply
katelyndawn89:  I don’t know about a long list of pros/cons but there can always be some cute stories with little ones in weddings. When my uncle married his second wife I was 5 and her youngest son was 4, we were the flower girl and ring bearer and we tripped over my dress and fell down a set of steps at the end of the ceremony. Apprently was good for a few laughs. When one of my cousins got married my daughter, who was 2 at the time, and one of my cousin’s boys who would have been 4 were the mini bride and groom. They have always disliked each other a lot. They refused to walk down the aisle hand in hand and my daughter actually ran away from the person trying to get them to walk aisle to my aunt sitting on the first row. All in all it all made for some funny stories later in life. However, if you are one of those no kids, I don’t want my day ruined brides (which I don’t think you are), then I would say no to them. Otherwise, have fun. 

Post # 6
Member
514 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

We had three flowergirls aged 3 (just!), 4 and 5. We also had a page boy aged 5.

Ours were beautiful and did everything we asked – they were so quiet during the ceremony that I forgot they were there. I definitely wouldn’t rely on the 2yo to do any jobs – I fully expected our 3yo to chicken out and either not walk or have to walk down with her mum/my sister (MOH). I basically just wanted them to feel special and important.

A word of warning though, we had ours with us all day (hair dressers, getting ready, having our portraits done before the wedding, travelling in the car to the ceremony) and it was a little exhausting. They were SO EXCITED and it was really difficult to calm them down. If you do have flowergirls, make sure you have someone with you to take charge of them as they will need lots of attention on the day (to answer their questions, to wrangle them, to help them get dressed, to make sure they’ve been to the bathroom, to warn them not get icecream on Aunty Jane’s wedding dress (!!) etc). 

But when it’s all said and done, it was so great to have them as part of our wedding – they added a level of excitement and cuteness that only kids can bring.

Post # 7
Member
2425 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

My fsil had 2 flower girls one of them were age 1 and the other one was 3 at the time. They were kind of shy but their grandmother walked them down the aisle it was cute. They didn’t throw rose petals but they were fine and didn’t cry throughout the entire ceremony. For our wedding we are having the same flower girls for our wedding who are now 4 and 7 and a ring bearer who wil be 14 months old our son. The ring bearer will be walked by the same grandmother. My son is shy when it comes to stranger danger so I’m hoping that will change by the time of the wedding.

Post # 8
Member
621 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Our flower girl was just over 2 and she did great. Threw the flower petals down the aisle and didn’t cry or talk during the ceremony. but we weren’t even worried about her because she is THE perfect kid haha. Her mother chose to take her to a babysitters after the ceremony and pictures though because it was an outdoor wedding and extremely hot and sunny that day.

Post # 10
Member
22 posts
Newbee

I’m going through this at the minute. I have one flower girl (5), one page boy (3) and then my Future Sister-In-Law has more or less decided for us that her son will be another page boy. My nephew will only just turner 2, I personally think this is too young…. But she’s already got in her head that he must be a page boy. *sigh*.

Post # 11
Member
272 posts
Helper bee

Our flower girl was 2 and a half, we ended up having to get her mum to walk her down aisle because she was not behaving, originally we were hoping she would hold hands and walk with her brother who was ring bearer, second idea was for her to hold hands with her aunt who was one of my bridesmaids but she wasn’t obeying, i also didn’t end up being able to get any photos with her. she was very overwhelmed. 

Post # 13
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Not sure a 2 year old can sit still for 30 mins! I had my god daughter as flower girl and nephew as paige boy! SHe was one and 9 months at time and he was 8 months! Some one occupied them during the ceremony and they were there for photos after and the meal- then went home before the dancing! Worked perfectly! And everyone was happy! Good luck! 

Post # 14
Member
10 posts
Newbee

Small kids 9 times out of 10 will have a tantrum or melt down during the ceremony as its a very un natural set up! Everyone being quiet and sat still etc! Especially of their parents are in the wedding party and wont pay them attention if they have roles! I have been in countless weddings where kids have played up during the ceremony! You dont get that time back, do what you feel is best! x

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