Pros/cons of online dating

posted 3 weeks ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1123 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2019

I met my fiancé on bumble. I will agree with the PP, you have to kiss a lot of frogs. I also didn’t have much success until I took it seriously. When I was just kinda on there when I was bored I didn’t really meet anyone noteworthy, but once I started taking it seriously I met a lot of really cool people. I checked the app and messages all the time, kept up with interesting conversations, and made sure I went on at least one date a week. It got me out there more by doing that. 

Tips: I made sure after texting for a little bit to meet them for coffee/a drink/etc ASAP. It’s better to get to know someone in person to see how you hit it off. 

I also gave everyone a second date unless they were a total creeper or not at all interested. It’s too easy to write someone off on the first date. 

The new year is a great time to sign up. A lot of people are looking for someone right after the holidays! Me and my former roommate both met our now fiancés on bumble in January!! 

Post # 18
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

The good thing about online dating is you can address those things in your profile. That helps weed out the wrong ones. If they take the time to read your profile then they’re doing good.

 

buzzingbeez14 :  

Post # 19
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

buzzingbeez14 :  Go for it! I moved to a new state and didn’t know many people. I went on match.com. I talked to maybe 3 guys, but only met up with one. Five years later I married him! I know I was super lucky that I didn’t have to sog around on online dating for long, but it’s definitly the way a lot of couples are meeting these days. “Meeting a guy from the internet” is not what it used to be.

Also, you can add info into your profile. So, you can state in that you are only interested in serious relationships, and you not down for X, Y, Z. That way some of people with bad intentions will probably just pass your profile by.

Post # 20
Member
751 posts
Busy bee

I met now-DH through OkCupid. As a single mother of two, I didn’t have a lot of time to mingle in person, and I didn’t want waste precious no-kids time on dates where there was zero connection.  Online dating allowed me to sift through possible guys in order to narrow down ones I might connect with in person. As other Bees have stayed, you may need to kiss a LOT of frogs. I was online for three years (with sanity breaks) before meeting Darling Husband. 

My rules I held to (developed through experience):

– I would message for a few days. If I felt a connection, I’d move to meet in person quickly. This helped filter out the catfishes, the cheaters, etc…

– First dates were always time limited. I’d suggest a drink or coffee – nothing time intensive. That way, if the guy was a creep or bore, I could end the date quickly and painlessly. 

– I would get a full name and phone number and send that info to a friend or two, along with info about when and where the date was going to be. I’d let the guy know I was sharing this info, as well. Safety first. 

– If my gut had any doubts, I would not agree to meet the guy or give a second date. 

Post # 21
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee

I met my SO on Tinder. I found people on dating websites to be too “intimate”. I was not opposed to meeting “the one” and going “all in”; however, I wanted a more casual atmosphere. Tinder I found very casual. Some people were too casual and utilized the app as a hook-up app while others (like myself) were interested in going on dates and “seeing where it went”. 

To give another perspective, my SO used the app significantly more casually in comparison to me. He was a bit of a flirt (smh), haha! But when he met me he said “I did not want to be in a serious relationship at this age… but I don’t ever want to let you go.” (Online dating works!)

As PP stated, give it a chance but be smart by meeting in a public place!

Post # 22
Member
50 posts
Worker bee

buzzingbeez14 :  The other nice thing about online dating is you can make an account and have a browse of other people’s profiles, but if you’re anxious you don’t have to do anything immediately. There’s no pressure and no hurry. Take your time and get up your courage before messaging 🙂

I tried Match and Oasis and maybe another without success in the past (met some nice people and had some nice dates however) but met my now fiance on an online gaming website. Also met several of my best friends online so I’m a big fan of meeting people online, for love and/or for friendship 🙂 Good luck! 🙂

Post # 23
Member
381 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2016

I met my husband on OK Cupid. I think it works well for many types of people. Be incredibly honest and forthcoming. Put exactly what you’re looking for (within reason). Match was a wash where I live. So guys seem to play the numbers game online. There’s a large chunk who will just send messages to see who will take the bait. Ignore messages that ask weird questions or are overly forward unless you’re looking to hook up. Someone saying hi isn’t necessarily a bad first message. Don’t require someone to have a great profile (some people are just horrible at making them). I spent a lot of time chatting online to people before skipping to a date. It allowed be to weed through people I didn’t want to meet. I believe my husband was maybe the 12th date I went on for that iteration of online dating (I had tried it in the past). He had a horrible profile, but was clearly very interested in chatting and we had some things in common. I think we chatted for 6-7 hours and then met the next day. As long as you meet somewhere public during daylight I wouldn’t worry. Insist on your own transportation and if you don’t get a good vibe from the person, don’t go directly back to your car. Go to a different business and wait for the person to leave.

Post # 25
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I wasn’t in to online dating to start with but as I got older and still hadn’t meet the right guy I finally decided to give it a go and actually met my husband on it.

Like others have said be smart about it in how much specific personal info y share and I would suggest meeting in person for coffee within 2-3 weeks of chatting or u could be wasting your time if u guys don’t click in person.

Post # 26
Member
354 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2020 - Clarksville, VA

buzzingbeez14 :  I would if I were you. Be upfront about everything.

Post # 27
Member
830 posts
Busy bee

I would disclose information like having a child and / or being divorced, because for some people that is a deal breaker and you don’t want to waste your time and theirs. One suggestion I have is to put down positive things, not negative. By that I mean say what you ARE looking for (something serious) and what you DO want, not what you don’t want (time wasters). Because it can easily come off as you’re bitter and/or way too uptight by focusing on the negatives. One of the cons about online dating is that the tone can be misconstrued. 

I met my fiancé (best guy ever!!) and my last long term ex online, been online dating for years and years. More than half of my friends met their partners online too. And this is usually people we would’ve never met otherwise, which is great!

you do get burnt out sometimes though, sifting through time wasters (which will happen no matter what you put in your profile) and just simply people who are not right for you, so feel free to take a break when necessary. And don’t take on too much, if you don’t enjoy meeting new people and socialising, I suggest limit the number of people you meet per week, otherwise you could feel burnt out very quickly.

OK Cupid was great for me, the paid sites didn’t really work for me and I’ve heard that from some others as well. I’ve heard a few of the newer sites / apps work well, like coffee meet bagel and bumble.

ETA: I will say that one of the most important thing when it comes to online dating is having a well adjusted, relaxed attitude about it, focus on just enjoying the meeting new people aspect and don’t expect too much about meeting “the one”, (while that might be the goal and you SHOULD be selective about who you’re meeting with) otherwise you might get burnt out very quickly, and whatever attitude you carry will come across when you meet people.

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