Post # 1
I’ve let it go for over a year, but honestly this is making me CRAZY. I hate it when people act like the only reason to not go medicated is pain. Do you really think I WANTED that pain? I had a 8lb8oz bigged baby, lol, and I had a previous back injury. Saying things like “you don’t get a badge at the end for going med free” is honestly insulting.
If someone said something so flippant about other mama choices, it would be considered snarky and reported. I know there are some people on this board that did their research and still wanted an epi. That is fine. I don’t diss my friends that used pain meds. However, do your research and show some respect for women who choose this route. I honestly used to think home birthers were nutty & that I’d have an epidural UNTIL I got pregnant and realized it wasn’t just about pain vs. no pain. Plus, after one hospital birth and a horrible tear, I would definitely consider doing home birth next time. We are lucky to live right by a hospital, and I would make sure a qualified nurse midwife was there.
I am not going to say it, but think of what the flip side is to this argument and know that someone stating that as anti-medication would be seen as rude. I have been called “crazy” by people for not getting an epi (not here), but yet people I know that had unnecessary interventions leading to an emergency c-section are given sympathy [edit for clarity: by the same people calling me “crazy”]. I know most people don’t think about it that way when they make such statements, so consider this your Public Service Announcement. 🙂
edit: add’l bolding for clarity
Post # 3
I dont get it either when people make comments like that “you don’t get a badge at the end for going med free” as though we are all in this huge motherhood competition and we trying to get trophies and badges. I think people just get defensive if they are going a different route and feel the need to be snarky to people who would like to go natural
Post # 4
@cannotwait: I understand what you’re saying. It is very rude to call someone crazy for choosing an unmedicated child birth. However, isn’t it presumptuous to assume that everyone’s interventions are “unnecessary” and are the cause of emergency c-sections? I feel like a lot of women get judgment regardless of what they choose. We don’t know the circumstances of everyone’s lives and I think it hurts others feelings to be told that their “interventions” weren’t necessary or that if they made better decisions they wouldn’t have a c-section. C-sections are needed, maybe not 1/3 in births but it’s still up to the mother and the doctor and any judgment on each side should stop.
Post # 5
I’m saying people that I *know* where this was the case. She wanted her kid to have a certain birthday and there was no medical reason. So, maybe I am judgy, but this is someone I personally KNOW not a generalization.
Post # 6
For what it is worth, my sister’s kids were both c-sections, and I think it totally made sense due to MEDICAL reasons.
Post # 7
@cannotwait: I’m curious as to what you mean by “unnecessary” interventions that led to emergency c-sections?
I could care less if someone goes med-free or not. I went with meds with my son, still thought my leg was going to break. (Think of a green twig when you bend it and it won’t break. THAT was my leg and how it felt to me. And I have an abnormally HIGH threshold for pain. And that’s coming from a er tech as well as nurses and a doctor or two.)
@beekiss: agreed. Every person’s situation is different. I had to have a c-section with my son because a joint was out of place, preventing a natural birth. My daughter was a c-section by choice, but no pain meds and no pain…. and ended up with bruised ribs when they did the c-section.
Two different kids, two completely different scenarios and end results.
Does it REALLY matter how the child was born? As long as it was born and cared for afterwards? Throwing around accusations, opinions towards one way or another, etc isn’t going to make a difference towards what happened.
This is as productive as arguing between bottle and breastfeeding (to each their own, in my opinion) and working moms vs stay at home moms.
Post # 8
I agree there’s lots of good reasons to have a non-medicated birth. I got an epidural and my contractions stopped and my little girls heart did respond different to contractions when I was on pitocin. But it all worked out just fine, I got mine when I was pretty far along but still had hours to go, and it was a personal choice not because it was necessary. Though the pitocin I didn’t want, just got tired of dealing with the dr pestering and ended up taking the chances, and it worked out for us, but I can see why not everyone would make that choice.
Post # 9
@cannotwait: Isn’t having that opinion the same as what you were ranting about?
Sometimes, there CAN be a medical reason even without the person saying it.
child is too big (or they think it will be too big)
mother’s body isn’t “designed” for a vaginal birth
baby isn’t positioning itself correctly
Those are just SOME of the reasons. It’s possible the person didn’t want to tell the REAL reason and picked one that was less personal. MAYBE. It’s possible she just wanted a specific date, but unless you know what that office/doctor’s policy is on c-sections, you can’t know for 100% certain. Each office and state and insurance has different policies regarding c-sections.
Post # 10
on the flip side of your argument I dont like when people think that the onlyl reason to go medicated is to get out of the pain part of labor and delivery. My cousin has a heart condition and due to that they wanted her to have meds so that her labor and delivery were as stress free on her body as possible. At least that she was aware of. Obviously your body goes through the same process whether you feel it or not but her reaction is what they were trying to control. I had meds with my son simply because I have no pain tolerance. The smallest amount of pain freaks me out. I did do my research and all that and I chose what I wanted for myself. You mentioned someone who chose to have her child on a certain day for a reason that it sounds like you didnt think was good enough. Bottom line is, its no one’s business or place to judge when it comes to something like the birth of your own child. Did it really affect your life that she chose a c-section to get a certain birth date? not really. Did it affect anyone else besides me and my child what I chose for my birth and delivery? nope. I guess I just feel like you are doing the very thing that you say drives you crazy, making assumptions based on someones choice.I could be wrong here so forgive me if i am. there are pro’s and cons to both having meds and not having meds. the choice is for each person to decide on thier own, the reason really shouldnt concern anyone else.
Post # 11
I don’t really have a personal experience to share but I think having a baby no matter what way you do it is pretty amazing. I realize its a fact of life that women have babies but it’s still amazing! When I think about having kids the part that scares me is how I’m gonna get the thing out of me! Pain or no pain, c-section or not, you are still popping something out of somewhere and I’ll show respect to any women who does that!
Post # 12
The difference is I don’t go around saying that GENERALLY or to people that make that decision. I don’t say all c-sections are unnecessary. How do you know that this person’s was necessary? I’ve had people bring it up to me, without knowing I am pro-med-free, that they did c-section out of convenience. The person that I know that was induced is very blunt and is family. She said that nothing was medically wrong. Her same doctor later got herself induced 2 weeks before the due date for convenience. These are their words, brought up by THEM, not me.
Post # 13
May I ask, when do you feel c-sections are necessary? I really want to ask other women what their opinion on this is. The answer is, no one knows but the patient and the doctor and I’m a-okay with that.
Be proud that you gave birth without medication, but not everyone wants that. I think doctors and midwives should be trusted and I feel a huge disconnect between certain groups of women b/c they don’t trust their doctor, or they’re not comfortable approaching their doctor with what they want which is why I really love Doulas b/c they can help with that.
Yes, I would like to give birth without augmentation and medication. It would be great, but at the end of the day, I’m going to go with my intuition and that is to trust my doctor or midwife’s advice. I probably wouldn’t start discussing inductions until after 41 weeks and closer to 42 weeks. I would labor at home as long as possible, and drive to the hospital in transition. But water breaking before 36 weeks and being in labor for more than a day at home, running a fever, are things that would encourage me to go to a hospital immediately.
I think a better rant would be that many women do not do research and that’s legitimate. And I agree with @Zinzerena: in that these are debates I’ve seen on blogs and message boards about Stay-At-Home Mom v. WOHM, Bottlefeeding v. Breastfeeding, etc aren’t always productive. I think we should all respect what others want.
I have to say that I love that most women have a choice in how they can birth, and I don’t support any legislation that opposes any choice whether that be outlawing homebirths or taking the option of elective c-section away. Women should have a choice.
Post # 14
Usually if it is an emergency c section, it is absolutely necessary. Otherwise it would be called a sceduled c section.
I see what you mean, by natural, and the comments. But I don’t think people mean it like you are actually crazy. Just more like, you must have a great pain tolerance, superwoman kind of crazy. Because really, I didn’t want the epidural, or demerol. But I couldn’t handle the pain like I thought I would be able to. I literally felt like I was going to die, so I took the epidural about 18 hours into my labour.
So when I learn that woman were able to go completely natural, I do think they are crazy (tough, strong, superwoman) , in a good way, definitely not in a bad way.
Post # 15
@stardustintheeyes: Thank you for saying it so succinctly and politely.
OP, you are doing the very thing you say you hate others doing. I respect your frustration and desire to vent about others’ comments about your own med-free birth, but my sympathies evaporated when you pushed on with judging others’ choices. It doesn’t matter that the person openly talks about how it was not medically necessary; that is completely irrelevant. It is your tone of disdain and clear judgment against her that I think people are focusing on.
Post # 16
I don’t see why its anybody’s business why any woman chooses to birth the way she does. Who cares WHY she does it??? Its her body and her baby, and its f’ed up that anyone would judge her for what she did, regardless. As long as it doesn’t put either life in danger, its no ones business