Uggh I had the flatmate from hell. Biggest mistake of my life was letting a girl that was in my class at school move in with me. Felt sorry for her cos she just broke up with her Boyfriend or Best Friend (mistake I know).
Ok, so why so bad? Lets just say she was: ultra clingy, invaded your space, didnt respect privacy and attempted to get me to sleep with her on more than one occasion.
Ok so I was 19 and living with a girl would be fun – they are so much cleaner and easier to get along with than a guy right?
Well this girl certainly had a different spin on fun. Her kind of fun was spending 99% of the time totally naked in my house. Started literally the day she moved in. I had picked her up from the bus station in the morning before I went to work. Came home that afternoon to find her on my lounge in a towel painting her toenails. Stupid 19yo me thought “ohh i wonder if shes got anything on under that towel”? 2 mins later the phone rings and she goes off to answer it. Takes the phone into her room and lies face down on her bed facing away from the door….towel at this point now unwrapped and yes shes totally nude.
That same night she comes into my room to ask about using my computer while im at work. She catches me quickly pulling my sheets up around my neck and asks if im naked in bed. Of cos Im not and explain I didnt want her to see me in just my jocks (was summer). She replies – ohh that will be interesting if we bump into each other on the way to the loo in the middle of the night cos she doesn’t sleep with even undies on unless its her period – yeah like i wanted to know.
From that point onward the more and more of her I literally saw. She would shower with the bathroom door open and do her hair standing in front of the mirror with absolutely nothing on. She would walk between her room and the shower with nothing on. She would sleep on her bed with nothing on with the door open. She would walk to the loo naked at night…if I happened to be up late watching TV or on the computer often she would stop to say hello along the way. After about 3 weeks there was no privacy at all. She would come out and have breakfast with nothing on and even then sometimes do the dishes or sit on the couch next to me to have a morning chat.
It did get pretty weird tho. Apparently she had bad dreams from time to time or was frightened by thunder storms….you guessed it would climb into bed with me totally nude. I would even wake up from time to time to find her on my computer wearing nothing.
It got weirder, I made a smug comment during a sex scene of a movie saying “at least that girl was shaved down there”. She asked if i preferred that kinda thing, to which i replied “of cos” (still just making a non serious comment). Well well well, 2 days later she comes into my room while im having an afternoon sleep and tells me she has a secret to share. She opens her bath towel to reveal her newly Brazilian waxed muff. I was told not to worry “it was a bit red and swollen only cos it had been done that morning”….aggh!
The crowning glory came shortly after her Brazilian. I was called to her room to find her with no pants on sitting on the side of the bed. Apparently her tampon string had broken off and she needed “help” getting it out. Needless to say I drove her to the hospital instead.
She even would from time to time just jump in the shower with me – explaining cos Id seen her already so she had no worries with it. Apparently the world is also in need to save water, so this was also her attempt to save the planet. Needless to say Id jump out fairly quickly and leave her to it.
Then there were the 4 or 5 times she asked me to sleep with her. The first time this happened she even had a boyfriend still (apparently he was religious and didnt want to lose his V with her just yet). She climbs into bed with me one morning and feels that not all is flaccid (as per standard for a guy in the morning). After a few attempts from her to have a bit of a feel she whispers into my ear that she is “ready” and “if i wanted to do it with her to just go right ahead – she was ready”. Im not sure but I also think I caught her having a bit of a lady fiddle a few times too…on the lounge….i didnt stay around to see if this was the case, instead opting to leave the room as quickly as id entered it.
And of cos she would get clingy and cranky when I had girls over. Apparently I wasnt allowed to live my own life.
Thankfully she had a fight with our downstairs neighbour one day and they threatened to call the police. She had already had an argument with a former neighbour, so I took the opportunity to kick her out….best day of my life…and i never had another flatmate (except for my engaged) since. Oh wait, all was not so simple as she then chucked a pshyco and told me she was going to kill herself because of what I was doing. Nothing more embarrasing than having the ambulance at your house removing your screaming flatmate that is totally naked in the back of their van.
What is it with women wanting to show guys their bits? I thought this kind of behaviour was reserved for 5 year old boys wanting to show the girl next door his willy!