(Closed) Psycho sister… what should I do??!!

posted 7 years ago in Family
  • poll: What should I do?
    Ask S not to be a groomsman : (0 votes)
    Ask K not to be a bridesmaid : (5 votes)
    100 %
    Don't do anything, and hope for the best! : (0 votes)
  • Post # 4
    7293 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: October 2011

    Oh boy!

    Well its sounds like your sis K needs to get some good counseling and assistance/rehab to get her back into just existing, let alone as your Bridesmaid or Best Man or giving you orders about your wedding! I can understand your sisters hurt as well as FI’s attachment and allegiance to S.

    Be strong! If you really think that the wedding is going to be drama free and perfect If S does not be a groomsmen than I guess its an option, but ultimately know that you are NOT a bad sister if you do want to include you and FIs friend in the wedding.

    Post # 5
    981 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    Wow, this sounds hard. Your Fiance asked S to be a groomsman because of their friendship, not because he was your sister’s boyfriend. I don’t think caving to your sister’s demands is a good idea, given the situation. Can you talk to her when she is sober about it? If she wants to back out of the wedding party, that is her choice, but I don’t think you should let her decide you is or isn’t allowed in your wedding party. Also, might be smart to give a heads up to a relative and the bartenders to keep an eye on her drinking during the party and cut her off/escort her out if she gets really drunk or starts causing a scene.

    Post # 6
    14402 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2011

    Oh gosh, that is a tough one.  Can you gently explain to her that you were friends with him long before they were dating and since they did, your Fiance became close to him too.  Things just didnt work but not by any fault of him or her.  Just cause they are not together, that is no reason to cut him out of your lives too.  I personally would not kick him out if your Fiance really wants him up there as a Groomsmen.  If she makes a huge scene, I dont think anything she does could really ‘ruin’ the day.  I’m sure someone would step in and escort her out before she could do any real damage.  The only real damage she could do is to make herself look bad for drama she causes on your wedding day.  You’d just need some thick skin to put up with her if she does and get on with the day without letting it bother you.

    Post # 8
    7416 posts
    Busy Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I also have a sister who is very difficult to be with at times. My sister doesn’t have an addiction problem but nevertheless she is more than handful and I know if she comes to my wedding she will probably act up (but I know that her social anxiety will probably keep her away -fingers crossed).  So I completely understand the dynamic thats at play right now.

    People like our sisters are unpredictable. Chances are she will probably act up at your wedding anyway, if its not about her ex it maybe over some other imagined drama or slight. Its YOUR wedding. Its your FH friend. Simply she is being selfish and manipulative. Do not give in to her nonsense.

    If she feel that bad she can at minimum attend the ceremony then take her ass home and skip the reception. Do not for a minute allow her to con you into thinking that your wrong.

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