Post # 1
Member
1880 posts
Buzzing bee
http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/-bully-punished-with-bad-clothing–unusual-yes–but-cruel–191002928.html
This article got me thinking about all the ways parents can and can’t discipline their children. It seems to me like it’s becoming more and more acceptable to let kids run amok and let them do whatever they want for fear of disciplining them in any way and “possibly” negatively affecting them in some way. To be truthful, the thought of people looking down on me for how I choose to discipline my child is just another reason for me to remain CBC.
What do you Bees think? Is public shaming an acceptable form of discipline? Would you prefer to always just “talk it out” with your kids when they need disciplining? Or would you rather go back to the old days when corporal punishment was accepted?
Post # 3
Member
259 posts
Helper bee
I see nothing wrong with this. When I was on the bus the other day I saw a little boy hit a stranger. His mum made him stand at the front of the bus and apologise to everyone. And I tell you what – he won’t be making THAT mistake again!!
Post # 4
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
I 100% believe that this punishment was suitable for her actions. Public shaming in my book is okay as long as your are not verbaly down grading your kids.
Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
- Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast
I am not one for public shaming, though I do threaten public embarassment if he acts too much like a teenager (i.e. hugging on him when I drop him off at school or something. haha). We are a “hard talk” and logical consequences family. You lie to me, saying that you took the dog for a walk? I enforce hour long dog walks for the next 10 days in a row (the dog LOVES this punishment!). You don’t turn in a school assignment? I take away WOW privledges for a week so that you have more time to focus on homework. You give me attitude? I send your butt out to the garden to pull weeds until you’ve chilled out enough to speak to me like a civilized human being and apologize for being a brat.
Post # 6
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
@TopazTurtle: haha That’s awesome! High five to that mama!
Post # 7
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
Had my parents not disciplined me I would’ve just kept doing what I was doing. Especially when I was young, I never listened to a word my parents tried to tell me about respect, etc., and I did not give a crap about time out. Actually disciplining me was the only way to get through.
Of course it wasn’t pleasant when it happened, and yeah, maybe I pouted and cried for awhile but I’d have to say I turned out pretty well–and if my parents didn’t discipline me then I don’t think that would’ve been the case.
Kudos to that mom!
Post # 8
Member
3170 posts
Sugar bee
I wouldn’t say that public shaming is the most effective form or discipline but I think it works in a lot of cases. I see nothing wrong with this.
I can tell you that if that had happened to me as a kid I would have never made fun of another kid.
Post # 9
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
Other than the posting to Facebook (which to me looks like a mom who is wanting the praise and approval of others for what she’s doing) I think this is absolutely awesome!! The little girl got a taste of her own medicine, which in turn led to her genuinely apologizing to the girl whom she bullied. This is how it goes in the real world! I don’t think we fully understand the effect that our words and actions have on another person until we experience it for ourselves from the receiving end. I’m not against spanking my future children, either, but I think if you can drill something like this into their brains through experience, the results will be longer lasting. Very interesting article 🙂
Post # 10
Member
7200 posts
Busy Beekeeper
I honestly think it depends on what the child did and how it is handled. True Story:
About 2 weeks ago my 9 year old stole something and I discovered it. She BEGGED me to just let her put the item back so that no one would notice how it got returned and so she would not be embarrassed. She said I could ground her, take away privilages.. whatever.
Oh hell no missy! She FIRST had to write a page long letter about how stealing is wrong and how you will never do it again. Then SECOND, she had to march on into where she stole the item from and return it to the person with the note of apology.
There were lots of tears and she was super embarrassed. GOOD! She is very remorseful and I am pretty sure I will not be having this particular issue again. In this instance I think that the public shaming was completely appropriate and I have absolutely NO regrets.
Post # 11
Member
1125 posts
Bumble bee
I’ll do that in a heartbeat if my child ever behaves like that. No better way to understand someone elses position than to walk a mile in their shoes
Post # 12
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
I think that punishment was absolutely perfect. Sometimes, kids don’t get it until you put them in the situation themselves. Kids are ego-centric and while most are wired with the capacity for empathy, it is a skill that must be developed and taught/learned. This seems like a great way to learn it to me!
I don’t think making a child wear hideous clothes for making fun of someone else’s clothes qualifies as public shaming – It’s not degrading like making the kid go to school naked is.
More parents like her are needed!
Post # 13
Member
5978 posts
Bee Keeper
@VegasSukie: Parents have to do what they have to do in order to prepare their children for life…unfortunately, a lot of bad parents have turned the entire institution of parenting into a situation where discipline no longer exists. Good parents struggle with effective and acceptable discipline techniques and at any moment, someone could allege abuse and completely ruin your life….it’s ridiculous.
Post # 14
Member
4416 posts
Honey bee
Love it! I had to laugh at the “expert” in the article suggesting that a better punishment would be to sit down and explain to the girl how bullying hurts people’s feelings. Like, really? REALLY!??! If my parents handled my misbehavior like that, I’d be eye-rolling the whole way through it and then would go right back to the way I was before. Kids don’t learn by being told; they learn by doing.
Post # 15
Member
2069 posts
Buzzing bee
Am i the only one who thinks that onesie is amazing?! haha.
I think this could be an amazing technique if used properly, on the proper child. As PP have said, discussions of respect, etc, would have gone way over my head as a child. I didn’t care what anyone had to say about anything. Unfortunately, knowing me, I probably would have shamelessly rocked these outfits and it wouldn’t have had much of an affect. On the right kid, though, this is probably the only thing that could work!
Post # 16
Member
2401 posts
Buzzing bee
@Nona99: I agree. I have a 2 almost 3 year old and I spank her lower butt upper thigh. I barely leave a red mark but it gets her attention. I have had people tell me I am abusing her and I shouldn’t hit her at all. Then I tried “If I get to 3 you will get a spanking.” I’ve had people tell me it’s threatening her. WTF? Please explain how to punish her then. Time outs don’t work, she’s got a diaper to pad her ass, and taking her toys away doesn’t work.
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