(Closed) Public vs intimate proposal – please help!

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
200 posts
Helper bee

I don’t want a public proposal and SO knows that because like your Girlfriend I have made it clear from the beginning. My take on it is that I don’t want a show or to be the center of attention so an environment that is busy (full of people) like a restaurant or a NYE party would be overwhelming.

Your plan sounds well thought out and romantic! 

Post # 3
1993 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2018

As long as its intimate and special, I think you’re fine.  It doesn’t sound like she specified having a proposal where there’s no human life present, just that she doesn’t want it done in front of crowds of people.

Post # 4
2847 posts
Sugar bee

I love your idea of proposing somewhere quiet and out of the way, that has meaning to you as a couple. I also was very much in the same camp as your Girlfriend. I wanted a private, intimate moment between my partner and myself, and would have hated a public proposal (something where I was the center of attention). I think you’re just second guessing yourself because it’s such an important moment. It sounds perfect as is.

Post # 5
1496 posts
Bumble bee

I hate public proposals but I don’t think a park is considered public of there happens to be the odd dog walker or jogger. don’t worry. your plan sounds great. good luck!

Post # 6
1054 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I would loathe a public engagement too. I just don’t want other people there to distract me or see my reaction.

To me, outdoors doesn’t always equal public though.

EG secluded garden = not public.

Regent’s Park = public.

If you have an outdoors place that’s special to you both, then just make sure that you go at a quiet time of day and be sure no-one else is around. Your plan sounds very sweet.

Best wishes!



Post # 7
2589 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Valleybrook Country Club

View original reply
msbtobe :  I think your plan is great! It is meaningful. I think the whole public proposal thing is more like don’t do it at a party or when other people can hear what you’re saying and make put all of the attention on you. If there is a jogger or a person walking their dog that is off in the distance, they shouldn’t impact the proposal. Wishing you all the best!

ETA: I didn’t want a puiblic proposal. My husband knew that. I wanted it to be just us and have our moment together alone and bask before we shared the news. He proposed on a pier in NYC overlooking the water. There were people on the sidewalk because well, NYC. There was nobody within ear shot or on top of us, which I still feel I had that intimate moment. Anyone in the distance just faded away in that moment anyways.

Post # 8
2819 posts
Sugar bee

Your plan sounds perfect to me! I felt the same way about public proposals. Fiance ended up proposing on a secluded hiking trail and it was perfect. There were actually a bunch of people on the main trail so he suggested walking off a different way and I was at first a little annoyed because I was tired and ready to get back in the car, until I realized why and was super grateful that we were alone. 

I think a public space like a park counts as a private proposal so long as you don’t stage anything so dramatic that passersby will stop and want to watch. If it’s overly crowded, though, I might look for a different area of the park or go at an off peak hour.

Post # 9
50 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

I wouldn’t say that would be too public if it’s unlikely there will be many people around. Having said that my man proposed to me in our kitchen just before we were heading out for dinner (dinner date already planned) and it was just lovely being the two of us in our home so that could be really special too! I got back from work and he had rearranged everything in the fridge which I thought was a bit odd but what I hadn’t noticed was that it was to hide a bottle of champers at the back, hence everything was on the middle shelf 😂

Post # 10
2196 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2016

I think as long as you don’t do anything that’ll draw attention to you, the park won’t become a public proposal. I think it’ll become public if there were to be a flash mob or equivalent. We were out in public as we got engaged but nobody paid attention as there wasn’t anything over the top, although I’m sure we probably made feel nauseous with all the kissing! 

I think the proposal sounds lovely but if you’re worried, go to the park and have a great day and then propose at home after. Or before you go if you can’t wait. Good luck!

Post # 11
6 posts
  • Wedding: November 2019

I was vehemently anti-public proposal and I think what you have planned sounds lovely. To me there’s a difference between proposal in public (like a park or the beach) and a public proposal (restaurant, flash mob lol). 

Post # 12
780 posts
Busy bee

When I think “public” proposal I think, like, in the middle of my work day, at a crowded restaurant, at a party, at a game, etc. If it’s outside in a special spot with the chance of a few people around, I don’t think she’ll hate that. I’m also a very intimate/private moment person and I would be perfectly fine with the proposal you have planned. I think you’re just second guessing due to excitement/nervousness and wanting everything to go perfectly for both of you. I think it’ll be great. Good luck!

Post # 13
1672 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2021 - Glacier National Park-Montana

Unless you’re being showy about proposing I think the park is a wonderful idea! Private and meaningful.  Lucky girl.

Post # 14
164 posts
Blushing bee

I think a park proposal sounds beautiful, special, romantic, intimate and private. 

Post # 15
566 posts
Busy bee

I like the park idea.. 🙂 

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