Public vs. Private marriage proposals

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 2
1257 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2016

I think it comes down to personal preference and style. I would be MORTIFIED at a public proposal because I am emotionally guarded and having such an intimate moment in front of others would have ruined everything for me. I also struggle with displays of affection that feel like a “production” and much prefer smaller more organic demonstrations of love.

A close friend of mine was proposed to at an organized proposal-surprise party in front of their close friends and family. She was thrilled that her loved ones got to share in the experience as she’s a very open personality. 

A proposal should reflect the two people in the relationship and speak to the way that they best communicate love and commitment. I don’t know anyone who’s done a truly public engagement (i.e. in front of strangers) but most of my friends tend to be more reserved and introverted personality types.

Post # 3
107 posts
Blushing bee

I agree with pp, I would have said yes if I was proposed to in public either way but I had the most perfect private proposal besides one person hiding to take pictures. A big production in public isn’t me or my fiance at all. I wouldn’t have changed a thing about our intimate private proposal.

Post # 4
3731 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I definitely think it depends on the couple. My husband and I are definitely not ones to exhibit a lot of PDA, so a public proposal was never really an option for either of us, and certainly not one that’s broadcast on a big tv at a huge event. I would have questioned our relationship had he proposed that way because he wouldn’t have put thought into what I would like it enjoy. Again, with our personalities, that was never even a concern of mine. Some people don’t mind the huge ordeal and all attention on them. To each her own. 

Post # 5
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

She proposed to me on the beach in Maine during fall. There weren’t many people around (maybe 4 others), and none within ear shot. I would have died of embarrassment from a public proposal. That’s just not either of our style.

Post # 6
4509 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Mine was in a public place, but done privately, if that makes sense. (The only other person there happened, by total chance, to be a wedding photographer, who started taking pictures when he realized Darling Husband was proposing – but neither of us noticed him until after the proposal. He was very sweet and sent us the photos he took.)

Big, public proposals like a sports event or TV aren’t our style, but I love seeing others do them! 


Post # 7
1206 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I agree it depends on preference and personality. Darling Husband proposed in a public place (outside by a lighthouse) but he found an area where there were no people so one one saw. I liked that it was a private moment for the two of us but some people like their family and friends there. 

Post # 8
105 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: February 2018

Mine was very public at Disney World. I loved it. But he and I are not very private people. 

Post # 9
2631 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Ours was very private- which was exactly what I wanted.  I think it just depends on the person.

Post # 10
1962 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Pearson Convention Centre

My proposal was a complete surprise. My fiance planned a black tie engagement party for 600 guests when we got there he proposed, it was amazing having our families there

Post # 11
1600 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

My Dh took me out for dinner for our anniversary to the restuarant where we met.. I knew something was up because we didnt go there often and he was being weird. I actually thought he was going to propose in the restuarant and couldnt even eat I was so anxious and nervous about him doing it in a public place. Well dinner ended, he paid, and no proposal. I was actually SO relieved. After dinner he suggested we go for a walk in a nearby park where we always used to go. It was in the middle of winter and FREEZING! I said he was crazy, but he insisted. No one was in the park because it was so fricken cold. We made it halfway up the path when I said nope, its too cold, lets go home. He had no choice but to do it then lol. I felt bad that I kind of kiboshed his plan, but it was cute and us. 

Post # 12
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - Hogarths, Solihull

bluesun100 :  I had quite a public proposal. He proposed at the Harry Potter Studio Tour in London in front of Hogwarts. People crowded around to watch and take photos (in addition to the guy Fiance had given hs camera to. I thought we were just having our photo taken lol)

I never asked for a public proposal, but I always suggested that a photo of the moment might be nice so I guess it made more sense. I loved it – I didn’t realise how many people were watching us until we watched the video back though haha. Fiance still laughs because he has me bursting into hysterical sobs on camera for life now haha


Post # 13
3092 posts
Sugar bee

If my  man proposed publicly, I would question how much he knows me.

Post # 14
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

bluesun100 :  I would probably have said no if Darling Husband proposed in a big public way – it would have shown how little he knows me! 

Post # 15
7778 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2010

LilliV :  exactly this!

if my Darling Husband had proposed in a very public way I would have turned him down, as he would have obviously either not known me or completely disregarded my wishes. Luckily, he proposed in our bedroom.

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