Public vs. Private marriage proposals

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 16
3545 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 29th, 2016

bluesun100 :  My husband and I aren’t the most private nor public people; somewhere in the middle. I really never thought about how he would do it, and one time he even asked me for hints (“How have you envisioned being proposed to?”) and I didn’t really have an answer. I said that the important part is that he would be asking me to be his wife – that’s special in any context! It was super romantic and private. We were on vacation in Montego Bay and after dinner, he talked me into looking for seashells on the beach. Mind you, it was dark out and we had a couple drinks over dinner, so I actually had no interest in searching for seashells at that time. But I humored him. And that’s where he proposed. Just the two of us. It was so sweet and I’ll forever cherish that moment! He did record it, so it has been shared with others, but it was such a beautiful moment for us and I’ll never forget it 🙂 

Post # 17
3452 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Poppy Ridge Golf Course

Butterfly6 :  Same here bc I would not have cared for that at all.

bluesun100 :  Proposal was pretty private. It was during a river cruise in Costa Rica. The only others present were the tour guide, boat captain and various wildlife. Once he stopped stumbling through it (he forgot the planned speech it was adorable) I was kind of in shock and didn’t answer for a second. All I remember is the captain yelling, “Well hermano?! Is it a yes?!” Which startled both of us bc we didn’t realize they were paying attention. lol

Post # 18
3903 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2017

Mine was at a public place (park) but done privately, there was no one except for our photographer friend hiding in the bushes lol. I would be seriously embarrassed if there was like a flash mob or something of that sort. I think it’s a private, romantic moment between two people in love.. no need to make a spectacle out of it. IMO. 

Post # 19
2014 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

It just depends. My Fi did a grand thing that lots of people knew about, but we were alone when he asked. He said because at the end of the day, it’s always just us. We like to be alone together. 

Post # 20
7904 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

eeniebeans :  yup, mine did it on the front porch of our new house when we got there for the first time after the closing. Apparently I was so excited after closing I said “oh man I’m so excited – anymore excitement today and I might throw up!” so once he was down on one knee he said “please don’t puke on me down here” baaaaaaaaahahahaha

Post # 21
1291 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

It all comes down to the preference of the people involved. TBH, I wanted a public proposal. I wanted it to be in front of my friends at a party, or something like that. ANNNND, that’s not what happened! My Fiance proposed in front of a restaurant and we were all alone! Obviously, I was still over the moon and very excited!

Fiance explained to me afterwards that he wanted it to be private and wanted time to share the moment with me and let us both process what happened together, instead of being bombarded by other people. The guy really only gets that one thing, so let him choose and don’t worry too much 🙂

Post # 22
924 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I hadn’t wanted a public proposal until Fiance and I decided we were going to do this whole marriage thing. 

In April, prior to buying a ring, we agreed on a future wedding date in private. He half-jokingly got down on one knee at the time and asked “so are we doing this thing?” I didn’t need much more of a proposal than that, but Fiance insisted he wanted to buy a ring and formally propose. Since we already knew the wedding date and all that, I told him that whenever he did propose, I wanted a grand gesture. A private re-proposal wouldn’t have much pizazz, I thought. 

So a few months later Fiance arranged with a planetarium (the one where we had our first date) to work his proposal into the end of the show. It wasn’t as public as a football stadium or something, but we did have a bit of an audience. I was so surprised and having other people there for that moment helped make it more special. It also gives us a better story than “well, we just decided to get married one day.” 

Post # 23
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2017

I laughed when i saw the topic title, as my Fiance and I argued about this constantly. He’s all for the giant romantic gestures. For example, our first valentines together there were 3 dozen pink roses sent to my office in seperate vases at different times during the day. I’m way more guarded and like to fly under the radar. The roses were a huge hit…with my coworkers… I on the other hand was hiding under my desk blushing all day.

When we first had the “We’re definitely going to get married” talk, we were sitting in a bar, kicking back, having a few beers and chatting. I told him thats what I wanted the proposal to be. No hot air balloon, no sky writing, no flash mob, no jumbotron. He said for like 2 years after that that I was really tying his hands. 

When he actually proposed, he did it at my family’s favorite Irish pub. There was a “come stop by” type of party happening so my close family and a few of my oldest best friends were there, as well as a good number of strangers. He pulled me to the side, proposed, there was applause and champagne, and then it was done. Really was the best of both worlds. 

Post # 24
757 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

bluesun100 :  I think public proposals are kind of attention seeking and very awkward!

Post # 25
542 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My fiance proposed to me in our house – and it was perfect!! The big public proposal would have been my nightmare!  Ours was intimate and perfect

Post # 26
6444 posts
Bee Keeper

bluesun100 :  He did ours in private and I loved it.I would have hated for it to be in public but thats how we are.

Post # 27
9684 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2016

I did not want a public proposal, I really wanted it to be just the two of us. My husband proposed on a camping trip and it was absolutely perfect for us. Some people love the large public proposals though and if that’s your personality or preference than those are awesome too.

Post # 28
5889 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

bluesun100 :  I prefered (and got) private but just wanted to add an anecdote from a friend…

Her boyfriend proposed at the beach at sunset.  It’s not exactly crowded, but of course there were people around.  Litterally as he’s in the middle of proposing, down on one knee, some woman comes up to them and is like “oh my god, are you proposing RIGHT NOW?!?!”  

Umm…yeah lady.  He’s proposing.  So get the hell out of here!

And another anecdote for public!

I went to a live story telling event called The Moth.  It’s an event where people tell true stories from their lives live on stage.  This happened to be a “Grand Slam” event which is sort of like a tournament of champions, so the stories were great and the crowd was huge.  A girl got up on stage and told this very sweet story about meeting her first love in college, realizing she was gay, this whole beautiful coming out story.  You kind of got the impression that the story was going to end with some sort of sad heartbreak but instead the whole audience was thrown through a loop when instead she got to the end of the story, revealed that this was her current girlfriend, talked about how much she loved her and how she wanted to spend the rest of their lives together, and then proposed!  The crowd went wild, I’m sure there was not a dry eye in the room.  The girlfriend ran up on stage and said yes.  It was really beautiful.  If you can believe it, that is the only time in my life I’ve seen my Darling Husband shed a tear (including our own wedding).

That was a public proposal very beautifully done.

Post # 29
472 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

Mine was public, but not annoyingly so. He proposed to me at the theatre where I perform. 😀 It was wonderful. 

Post # 30
3867 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

bluesun100 :  I told Darling Husband that if he ever proposed to me in public, I’d cry–and not ina  good way. I found out after the fact, but Darling Husband had originally planned on proposing to me in Disney in front of Cinderella’s castle. My best friend talked him out of it (bless her fucking heart) and instead he came up with a much more private proposal. And you know what? I would have said yes either way, but Darling Husband did it in private so we had thirty minutes afterwards where it was just the two of us in a butterfly garden and we felt like the only two people on Earth–as cheesy as that sounds haha. I wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. 

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