Public vs. Private marriage proposals

posted 3 years ago in Proposals
Post # 31
Member
5365 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2016

Our proposal was in public, but only the guy taking the picture knew what was going on. Everyone else around was Asian and tourist taking selfies and were not paying any attention. Darling Husband is shy so he def wouldn’t do it in a super public way.

Post # 32
Member
1593 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

I would not have been opposed to a semi public proposal (not the big screen at a footy match or a choreographed dance, but at a restaurant would be OK) but that is SO not my Fiance so I knew it wouldn’t happen. He proposed in private and it was very us and unexpected. 

Post # 33
Member
1665 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

We are incredibly private people so if Fiance had proposed in a public setting it would’ve been very out of character for him and I tbh. I don’t think I’d have said no but I’d prefer something private and intimate and that’s what he did. ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 34
Member
246 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

Ours was in a public park. It was pretty busy, not like Disney busy obviously, but there were people. No one really paid attention to what we were doing, or if they did, it wasn’t obvious.

Post # 35
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2017

My Fiance surprised me with a private hot air balloon ride. It was just me, him, and the pilot. I absouletely loved it and the whole thing was recorded on a Go Pro. The hot air balloon company edited the video and sent it to us. We’re thinking about showing it during our rehearsal dinner. 

I’m so glad he listened to me when I said I don’t want a public proposal. 

Post # 36
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

I’m not sure that I had a preference. All I told him was that I wanted it to be about us and true to our relationship. He did it in a public place, but it was private in that nobody saw. ๐Ÿ˜

Post # 37
Member
207 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

My SO has the ring, so happy waiting bee here wanting to share what my perfect proposal would be ๐Ÿ™‚ Obviously I would love any sort of proposal and say yes no matter what. But my perfect proposal would just be a normal night at home..me cleaning up the dishes and SO behind me and saying something to get me to turn around for him to be on one knee and pop the question. We are so simple and love being in our home together. that would mean the most to me<3 But I wouldnt mind a public proposal either! I am sure whatever he has planned will be perfect no matter what

Post # 38
Member
42 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: January 2017

I’ve been proposed to twice, one pretty private in a restaurant in a more secluded area. That was beautiful but later things didn’t work out. I was also having to call every single person in my family and it really took the joy out of the situation and I couldn’t really be in the moment. My now fiance proposed at the Watergardens in Houston, and it was absolutely stunning. Our best friends went to take our picture, and there were definitely people milling around who stopped and watched, then cheered for us after. It was extremely romantic and personal, and having people there didn’t take anything away from the moment. I think that if people want to be haters about a public proposal or say no because it’s public there is a WAY bigger issue. I love my fiance and though it was absolutely perfect and beautiful, and because it was semi-public I could really enjoy the moment. No stress of calling every single person, my friend just posted the video to facebook, and call only the mom, and dad. ๐Ÿ™‚ I was over the moon, and still am to this day, I love having a video to watch over and over again, and it was a little surreal to have all of these people cheering for us. Best Day Ever till January 28, 2017.

Post # 39
Member
724 posts
Busy bee

He husband proposed to me while we were out on a lake on his boat at sunset at his families cabin in northern MN. Personally speaking, I LOVED that he did it this way. I am NOT an all on eyes on me type of girl and I really clam up when it comes to professing my love, PDA in public type ways. When he proposed in this mostly private (besides other boats out on the lake), I felt truly in the moment and wasn’t worried about people staring at me or my reaction. I cried tears of joy, as did he and I felt if he would have done it in front of his family or in a crowd I wouldn’t have had that same genuine reaction. After the proposal we went back to his cabin and celebrated with his parents. To me, it was perfect and I didn’t need the public spectacle to feel happiness and joy and the thought he put into his proposal. I honestly WANTED  a more private proposal. 

Post # 40
Member
659 posts
Busy bee

My proposal was just like what you described! We flew up north to see my parents in my hometown, and he took me to our town Green (it’s like a town square) one morning. I showed him stuff I used to do as a kid, then he sat me on a bench and proposed. It was super cold (12 degrees!) which wasn’t ideal, but it was so bright and sunny, and no one was around. One lady walked by with her dog afterwards but totally didn’t realize what was going on. It was so perfect!! 

I’m a musician and have performed my whole life so I’m no stranger to being on stage in front of hundreds to thousands of people, but I told my now fiancé that I would be mortified if he did this in public/in front of people. I guess he even asked my dad if he should do it in front of our family (I see them once a year, so any time I spend with them is special) but my dad advised that it should be a moment just for us two because someone in my family might make a smartass remark ๐Ÿ˜‚. Which I thought was very wise of him. We raced home to tell my family afterwards so we got to share the initial excitement with a big group of important people, but the actual moment was just us two. And it was perfect! 

Post # 41
Member
2419 posts
Buzzing bee

I would HATE a public proposal, and would probably say no because my SO knows exactly how I feel about the matter, and she would know she was doing something I hated.  Luckily, she feels the exact same way about public proposals.  I hate the idea of having a hidden photographer, too.  But that’s because I don’t photograph well and hate about 90% of photographs taken of me.  I’m super self conscious about it, so it would be a wasted expense because I’d almost certainly want most of the photos deleted or destroyed, but I’d also feel guilty for feeling that way.

I’ve also always felt kind of icky about proposals that happen in front of family/friends. I just feel like there’s an almost coercive element there, like you’re under pressure to say ‘yes’ to be nice.  And I hate the idea that my family/friends would know a proposal was coming before I did.  I feel very strongly that it’s a very intimate private event, and only the business of the 2 people directly involved.  

For me, if my SO involved my family/friends in the planning or logistics, it would almost feel like a betrayal.  (I realize I’m probably an oddity on this board, when it comes to how I feel about this!).  

I should clarify that when I say I don’t want a public proposal, I’d be okay with a quiet and discrete proposal at a romantic restaurant, so long as there wasn’t anyting happening like having the waitstaff hide the ring in my food or anything.  So long as the nearby tables weren’t disrupted or easily aware of what was happening, I think it could still be a private and intimate moment. 

My fantasy proposal is something like..  a random Saturday morning, in our PJs, while making coffee and scrambled eggs.  Something that just melds seamlessly into our real life.    

Post # 42
Member
6169 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2016

I enjoy watching public proposals. I would not have appreciated one myself.

Post # 43
Member
789 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2015

To each his or her own! Fiance and I hadn’t discussed this (not something I really cared about too much, although if we had talked about it, I would have said I preferred private). He proposed in a public park but there weren’t too many people milling around. It was perfect.

I also kind of have to laugh at those who said they would’ve said no if their Fiance had proposed in a way they didn’t like. “Joe was great and an awesome partner. We broke up because he proposed at a restaurant when I wanted a private proposal.” 

Post # 44
Member
847 posts
Busy bee

misslucy :  I feel the same in regards to I want to be the first to know that my proposal is coming lol I’d if I’d want a photographer hiding in the bushes for the fact they’d know before me lol

Post # 45
Member
9588 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2016

i wouldn’t have minded if it were public, I don’t think, but I would have been surprised as it’d in no way be in character for Darling Husband to do something like that.

 

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