Post # 1
Boring background first: I recently switched birth controls. The doctor gave me a sample pack and a year long’s prescription. I lost my prescription since I’m in the middle of moving so the nurse was going to fax a new prescription to the pharmacy. She realized my bc isn’t covered by my insurance and needed to call in something similar, but not the exact same and I would have to use a back up method for two weeks. Two weeks happen to cover my wedding night and the first two weeks of marriage. Yeah, bad timing.
Told Fiance. He just called and said he doesn’t want to wear a condom. He wants to pull out. I think pulling out is dumb. He thinks it is safe.
I did look it up on Planned Parenthood website and it looks safer than what I orginally thought. Here is what they said:
- Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 4 will become pregnant each year if they always do it correctly.
- Of every 100 women whose partners use withdrawal, 27 will become pregnant each year if they don’t always do it correctly.
Here are the stats on condoms:
- Each year, 2 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they always use condoms correctly.
- Each year, 18 out of 100 women whose partners use condoms will become pregnant if they don’t always use condoms correctly.
I won’t be ovulating the first two weeks when we’re supposed to be using a back up method and the pull out method is safer than what I thought and not that much safer than condoms and I WILL be taking BCPs as well. . .
So who uses the pull out method? Who thinks the pull out method is dumb? Who has suggestions on “barely there” condoms? Orr who has an alternate solution besides condoms and the pull out method?
Post # 3
We do sometimes. I chart, and usually he will wear a condom during my fertile days, but sometimes he just pulls out. No baby yet! haha. If you’re not ovulating, then you shouldn’t worry at all. Do you also chart your cycles to know for sure that you won’t be ovulating?
Post # 4
I don’t chart, but I have a regular 28 day cycle every month for the last 5 years so I shouldn’t be ovulating .. (or maybe I’m just ignorant. lol)
Post # 5
@HawaiiBamaBride:I don’t know a lot about the pull out method… but I did want to chime in about you saying that you “won’t be ovulating.” Generally, you never ovulate while on the pill at all because it works by suppressing ovulation (my understanding is that you’ll switch immediately from the one kind to the other, and the two-week period is just while your body adjusts to the different brand… correct me if I’m wrong!), so when you stop taking it, you never know what your body will do. Some women will ovulate almost immediately, and others won’t ovulate for months after coming off of it. So, it’s hard to say whether or not you will be ovulating. Now, you’re not stopping it entirely, but just switching to something different, so it seems like you wouldn’t ovulate, but it’s hard to be sure.
Also, a lot of women tend to be “extra fertile” right after coming off the pill (you have a higher chance of twins, for example), so that’s something you might want to consider too.
But… if the choices are pull out or condoms, it doesn’t seem like pull out is much less effective. Especially if your Fiance is confident in his ability to do it correctly.
Are you sure you can’t just get another sample pack from the Dr and push the switch back a month to avoid the wedding time?
Post # 6
@bluebonnet:Another sample pack would be ideal. I am going to call Monday and explain to the nurse and see if she’ll just give me one. The new bc is supposed to almost identical so you think it would work the same. I had a gyno tell me that you did ovulate when you are on bcps, but the pills just make it impossible for the sperm to latch on. I have also heard that you do not ovulate too so I’m not 100% about that.
Post # 7
I agree with PP that switching BC might affect your cycle and change when you ovulate. I think as long as your Fiance has control and will pull out in time (don’t want to cut it too close!) then it should be fine. But it’s such a personal decision. I don’t want to have a baby now, but I’d rather use FAM/pull out/condoms than be on BC, so I accept the risk that comes along with that. Good luck deciding!
Post # 8
@Boston Bee: If she was on oral contraceptives, she shouldn’t have ovulated at all during her time on them.
OP: It also doesn’t give you an accurate account of your periods, of course they’re every 28 days b/c that’s how her oral contraceptives are set up. Honestly, coming off oral contraceptives is very hard on the ability to learn charting. Your hormones have to regulate themselves over the course of a few months so you may not even ovulate once you’re off oral contraceptives? It’s not something I would take a chance with. I’m not particularly fond of your future husband’s attitude about his refusal to use condoms when you’re uncomfortable with him pulling out.
EDIT: I’d definitely beg/plead/request nicely to have another sample pack of whatever you were on.
Post # 9
Post # 10
I had a similar experience with my wedding night. I had just started bcp pills after being off them for about a years time. In my case I needed backup protection for the first 7 days, because of the timing I started my pill- which happend to be my wedding night /first week time.
I would highly reccomend using a condom just because of how easy and quick it is to use.
Pull out works for some folks, but if you haven’t had sex before or he isn’t sure of himself then it could be dicey
You could look into the sponge or spermicides, but I think part of enjoying your wedding night and newlywedness is to not have to worry about getting pregnant! Remeber you are 50 percent of the equation, do what you think is best for yourself!
Post # 11
If you’re sure you’re not ready for children, I wouldn’t rely on the pull-out method.
Post # 12
I’m currently reading the book “Taking Charge of Your Fertility”. What I’ve learned so far is that each cycle can be different, due to a variety of factors (stress, illness, etc.). She stated that most cycles range from 24-36 days and day 14 is NOT necessarily when you ovulate. IF you decided to use the pull-out method, I would most definitely learn more about identifying the signs of your fertile period (temperature, cervical fluid, and cervical position). Good luck making the right decision for yourselves!
Post # 13
Unless you would be ok with getting pregnant, I really wouldn’t trust the pull out method. Yeah it might work, but it is unreliable and you probably wouldn’t enjoy your wedding night if you were thinking ‘what if I’m one if the 4-27 who does get pregnant?’
Post # 14
I would be very hesitant to try this method.
I once heard a joke along the lines of this: What do you call people who use the pull-out method? Parents.
Post # 15
hmmm. unless i was ok with possibly getting pregnant i would never use this method. just keeping your fingers crossed you don’t get pregnant and relying on the guys control right before an orgasm. im also anal about those types of things and would NOT be able to relax thinking that i might get pregnant. or if i relaxed during the sex it’d be worried after. preejaculate can also have sperm in it and i think it’s just too risky (for myself)
Post # 16
If you know your fertile signs are, I think you’d be OK. My fiancé and I use a combination of condoms/withdrawal since I follow my cycle really closely and know when I’m close to ovulating and when I’ve ovulated. I guess it depends how you would feel if you accidentally got pregnant.