Post # 1
My best friend is hopefully going to be getting engaged sometime relatively soon (I have a feeling it will be happening this NYE on their 5th anniversary). I will at the very least be a bridesmaid but quite possibly one of two MOH’s if she decides to have both a maid and matron (her sister will be her maid). I will also be planning her entire wedding for her as she has no desire to do so and I would jump at the chance. Considering I’ll be acting as her wedding planner, I’ll obviously have all of that responsibility the day of. Now, I’m insanely organized when it comes to this kind of stuff and I’ll hopefully be making a career out of being an event planner but I wonder about how I’ll be able to pull off everything that goes into making sure the wedding runs smoothly as well as all of my Bridal Party duties. First and foremost she’s my best friend so I’ll be there for her as any other bridesmaid/MOH would be but I’ll also have to worry about the execution of the wedding day festivities. I know it will be a lot of work but I think I can do it. Then again, maybe I’m (eventually) biting off more than I can chew.
Has anyone ever been in this situation? Were you able to successfully pull off your Bridal Party role and be a kickass wedding planner all at the same time?
Post # 3
Hmmm…even with kickass organization skills, I don’t think this sounds like a great idea. How are you going to be handling vendor setups while getting your hair & makeup done with the bride? Setting tables while your friend is getting dressed? Coordinating the timing of bridal party entrance when you’re the one entering? Keeping drunk uncle from giving a speech when you’re celebrating with the bride? These are all things that the DOC does while the bridal party gets pretty and has fun.
I’m interested to see if anyone has seen this work. I also love planning so I understand wanting to do this.
Post # 4
@UpstateCait: From someone who didn’t have a wedding planner at all, sure it’s doable. Lots of people don’t have wedding planners! Just delegate the tasks that need doing when you are busy, or if she *needs* a DOC, then suggest she hire someone but you’ll take care of it leading up to the big day.
Post # 5
I have never attempted it, but I think it will be a lot.Having been in four weddings I know how hectic things can get in just singular roles let alone as a planner as well. My advice is if you decide to go ahead and do both make sure you are done first for everything (hair, makeup, etc.) because you will have a gazillion things to do outside of that. Also, make sure you delegate to people you absolutely trust to get the job done right the first time. I say if this is your bestie really think it through before making a decision because in a sense you won’t be able to thoroughly enjoy the day with her and “be in the moment”. I was my bestie (sister) Maid/Matron of Honor and the day flew by. Honestly I barely remember the wedding and it suckcs. I wasn’t planning, but I did have to help with a lot of the logitistics. However, I can understand wanting to help since this is something you’d like to do.
You never know, with a good support system you may be able to pull it off totally stress-free! Best of Luck!
Post # 6
@BooRadley: Yea, those are my concerns too. The good thing about their wedding is that it will be at their family’s golf course (that they own) so we won’t have to worry about typical venue constraints. Meaning, I could probably set everything up the day before and only have a few last minute things to deal with the morning of. I was also thinking about hiring some outside help to kind of be my assistant for the day. So when I’d have to do Bridal Party duties, they’d run point and make sure everything flows. It’s a lot to think about but I have plenty of time to work out the logistics.
Post # 7
@kay01: Re: the DOC, that’s what I was thinking. Lots of brides don’t have any kind of help and they’re able to pull it off. I think with some help, it’s doable.
@Mathis13: We have a mutual friend who more than likely won’t be in the wedding so I could probably get to help out where needed. She likes this kind of stuff too so I think she’d be open to it.
Post # 8
I did this for my sisters wedding. It was a crazy day but it was doable. Our day went like this- got up super early. Showered, hung out with bride, went picked up cake, took to venue, let the vendors in, got set up started. (We had set tables the night before so the day of was DJ set up, florsit, caterer). Left vendors at venue went home changed into dress and makeup. Bride decided to do hair by herself- she took it as a chance for calm and relaxing. Picked up groom and went back to venue. Finished set up and made sure everything was perfect. Got groomsmen photos started. Bride arrives. Helped bride dress, got everyone in places. Ceremony. Pictures. Reception. The reception was the only part that I was kinda bummed about. I spent the second 1/2 running around taking care of things and didn’t get to really sit back and enjoy it.
It was a reeeaaaallllly long day, an exhausting day, but I was happy to do it. I’m glad my sister got the wedding she wanted and everything went smoothly.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I think you’d be trying to take on too much, with wedding DOC. One of my Matrons of Honor does it part-time, and she’s not in that role for my wedding- I’m hiring another friend to supervise.
It’s kind of hard to cue the DJ when to start the bride’s processional music when you’re already at the altar, for example. And I want my Maid/Matron of Honor to be hanging out in the hotel with me before the ceremony for pictures, not at the venue, making sure that the caterer/rental company/DJ have arrived. At the end of the night, I don’t want her being responsible for getting the gifts in Mom’s car, I want her going back to the hotel for the after party.
She could do it, but I want her to enjoy my wedding with her husband, not to be working it.