(Closed) Pulling the trigger…

posted 5 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 3
Member
10569 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2011

I find it difficult to give this type of advice when I don’t personally know the people involved.  I think writing a physical letter, being able to hold it in your hand may help you deal with your feelings.  Once you have that, give it at least a day before you decide whether you should send it by (registered) mail.  I think that mail would be taken more seriously than email.

Post # 4
Member
2515 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

i have a hard time letting things like this go so i would probably do a “fuck off” email/letter. i know other people are a lot better at letting these things roll off their back but i am not one of those people.

Post # 5
Member
7652 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

@AB Bride:  +1. I like that idea of holding onto the letter until you’re absolutely sure you want to send it.

I, personally, would have called them up and yelled at them by now, but I am a very blunt person sometimes. Is this something that has happened a long time ago or within recent months? Maybe if it is longer than a year, I’d let it go.

Post # 6
Member
9649 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

@Nona99:   I’m kinda liking your wicked mother’s idea.  🙂

Post # 7
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

Depends on what you would say in the letter. I would keep it businesslike. Tell them what they owe you (add interest if you feel it’s necessary), when you expect them to pay you back, and what will happen if they don’t. Of course, this strategy is really only for cutting ties permanently. If you want to keep them, add a couple of lines about how they have hurt you by treating you this way- as a creditor and a collection agency they’re dodging.

And then I’d leave it alone.

Post # 8
Member
1936 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Nona99:  How much money do they owe you? If you have a friend who is a lawyer, I’d ask them to draft something up stating the debt and that legal action will follow if they don’t pay up. That is so beyond uncool in my book. UGH. I had a roommate way back who instead of paying me back rent and her half of the bills, went out and bought a Louis Vuitton purse with her first paycheck. We aren’t friends anymore. 

Post # 9
Member
2649 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2014 - Italian Villa

@BlondeBee:  I think she is owed about $500, if I remember correctly

Post # 10
Member
2000 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

@BlondeBee:  I was about to suggest the very same thing! 

You don’t even have to mean it but the lawyer’s stationery and stamp alone might do the trick!
 

Post # 11
Member
13099 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

I’ll third the advice of getting a lawyer friend to draw up something official looking for you.  Sending them that might just do the trick!

Post # 12
Member
2622 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Let it be.

You may not have known it before, but you learned it well this time.  The golden rule of thumb is to never lend money to family unless you can afford to give it, and give it without resentment.

Its probably easier to just wash your hands of the situation, and them, and move on. 

Post # 13
Member
4336 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@gingerkitten:  $500? Ok, obviously it sounds like there is a lot of backstory here that I don’t know about (or have the time to research,) but that sounds a bit extreme to completely severe ties with and send threats to a family member over! $10,000, sure! but $500? really, OP? Don’t lend money to family members, and don’t ever go out of your way again for this family member, but I’m not sure it’s worth ruining a relatinoship over!

Post # 14
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@red_rose:  $500 is a lot of money for some people.  At this point, it’s more about how they’ve treated her than the actual money.

Post # 15
Member
2840 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Nona99:  I’m sorry.  They’ve really treated you like crap.  I think if I were in your shoes, I’d just cut them off.  Maybe someday they’ll realize how terribly they’ve treated you and beg forgiveness (with a check in hand).

Post # 16
Member
5784 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would just write them off and not do anything. It’ll just give them ammo to feel justified in their actions, “see Nona99 is such a crazy b, she sent us a fake letter via certified mail”.

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